


Take Me To Church

by mssldiaz



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Addiction, Angst, Break Up, Cheating, Closeted Character, Coming Out, Drinking, Drug Use, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Larry Fighting, Light Cutting, M/M, Manipulative Louis, Minor Eleanor Calder/Louis Tomlinson, Partners In Crime Zouis, Possessive Behavior, Sad Louis, Selfish Harry, Selfish Louis, Sick Harry, Therapy, Top Harry, Top Louis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-11
Updated: 2015-04-05
Packaged: 2018-02-24 23:56:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 54,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2601071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mssldiaz/pseuds/mssldiaz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Harry's not someone I can just let go."<br/>-Louis</p><p>Harry has had it with the lies and closeting and Louis' tweets to the Independent journalist was the last straw. Louis and him were over. Yet, Harry should have known Louis wouldn't have let him go without a fight.</p><p>Then Harry meets Mathew and he think's he's finally able to move on.</p><p>Or, where Louis and Harry are over and broken after years in the closet and Matthew tries to make sure he's the one to fix and love Harry before Louis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Break Up

Louis Tomlinson @Louis_Tomlinson  
The fact that you work for such a 'credible' paper and you would talk such rubbish is laughable. I am in fact straight.

Louis Tomlinson @Louis_Tomlinson  
@JennSelby Google 'original apple logo and you will see the one printed on my shirt that you reported on. Trying to look for a promotion?

Louis Tomlinson @Louis_Tomlinson  
Fucking ridiculous I even have to tweet that shit !

Harry slammed his eyes shut and breathed in shakily. What is going on? What the fuck?! “Why would Louis...” He whispered brokenly, a sob escaping him and he slowly slid down to the floor, tremors shaking his body. Harry bit his lip to stop the yells he was craving to emit. He barely cringed when his lip finally pierced under the pressure, drawing a bit of blood on his bottom lip. Harry shook his head, not wanting to believe it was happening all over again. Another tweet, written on Louis account popped in his head: “Larry is the biggest bullshit in the world....”

“I'm happy why cant you accept that?”

Harry didn’t forgive him for weeks. But like always, he forgave him. Harry always forgave Louis. Even if he didn’t want to, months on tour together in a cramped bus... lonely hotels...

Harry and Louis are drawn together, and a sexual tension like theirs doesn’t dissipate just because of a break up.

But that was then – and this is now. Louis promised to be by his side through his coming out. Louis promised he'll come out with him. They would have finally been free, get to hold hands and not pretend the other doesn’t exist.

Modest promised to not interfere with the media anymore. Harry was finally able to say he was gay, or bi depending on what the fans were responding to the most.

Suddenly, the situation dawned on Harry. “Oh god.. the fans.” Harry thought, shaking his head up at the ceiling. Those tweets were horrid. Alluding to so many disrespectful notions Harry knows Louis doesn’t hold. Harry read the article yesterday – it didn’t even call him gay! Yet, Louis became defensive and offended at the thought that he could ever give support to homosexuality.

Confused, Harry stared at his phone as it vibrated; Boo<3 showing up on the screen as an incoming call.

Everything he was promised, the coming out and telling truths, was a lie. He just didn’t know from who yet. Harry pressed the 'Decline' button.

Harry didn't know who wrote those tweets – he hoped it was the people from Modest. Then again, he didn’t think they'll be so abusive towards their fans so close to the release of their album.

But if it was? Harry shook his head... no. Not again. Louis wouldn’t.

His phone vibrated again.

Boo<3  
Text Message

He stared at it, until once again it vibrated.

Boo<3  
Text Message (2)

And again.

Boo<3  
Text Message (3)

Harry stared in growing unease as more came in. He didn’t want to look at them – what if they were apologies? Then that would mean it was him. But what if Louis was just venting out his anger towards Modest to Harry then maybe he's reacting for no reason?

Breathing in, Harry swiped his finger on Boo<3 'Text Message (20)'.

Baby, please call me.

Call me, Harry!

Harold I swear to god...

Baby, please... I'm sorry!! I had to!

Harry?!

I'm going home.

Hear me out, please.

Haz?

Harry stared in horror. It was him. He sank to the floor, his back leaning on the wall speechless, no thoughts being processed or held on too. It really was Bullshit 2.0.

I'm straight.

Bullshit...

I'm happy...

Harry felt a new wave of tears start flowing from his eyes. It feels as if his heart was literally broken, a small ache in his chest that kept getting bigger and deeper. It hurt so much. His dismissal and denial. His phone started vibrating again, this time because of an incoming call.

Jeff :p

Contemplating ignoring his call, Harry decided against it. He needed to get some of this out his chest. He needed some direction – he had no idea what to do and Jeff was his best friend, more like a brother. There was no one else he trusted more, besides his own family.

Picking up, Harry brought it to his ear, “J-jeff?” he cried, bringing his knees to his chest.

“Shit, H. I just saw. Was it him?” came the familiar American accent.

Harry let out a breath, “Yea, it was him.”

“Fucking asshole!”

Harry nodded, tightening his face against the onslaught of more tears. Normally, Harry would have defended Louis. “I-I don't know what to do. This is like last time! How are we supposed to ever be a couple if he's declaring himself straight to the world!”

“Not to mention abusing the journalists.” Jeff added. “He needs to be on their good side. Not dissing their articles, especially when that particular article was actually pretty good to his image! Watch the tsunami of negative attention he's going to get now.”

Harry groaned, banging his forehead onto his knee. “I don't know what to do... I'm just so angry!”

“What do you mean what do you have to do? Break up with him, Harry! You two obviously aren’t on the same page anymore!”

Harry’s heart stopped. Break up with him? Harry closed his eyes, “But, it's Louis, Jeff. He's hot-headed and rushes into...”

“Stop right there.” Jeff cut him off angrily. “Ask Niall or Ed, or anyone for that matter and they will tell you the exact same thing. You. Are. Your. First. Priorty. Got it? You deserve to do what makes you happy! Damn it, Harry. Your coming out was going so perfectly! Don’t let him ruin this for you! You don't need a man! Especially someone so hot and cold. You, especially, need to stop settling being someones second choice.”

Second choice? He never really thought of it like that before...

Harry blinked back the tears, Jeff's words hitting him profoundly. He really wanted that. To be someones first choice and be the only hand they hold. Wanted to be someone's real public boyfriend, with movie theater dates and cute instagram posts. He wanted to be free and happy and not chained in a closet. After four years of banging on the door, it's finally open for him. “I want to, Jeff. But can I just leave Louis behind like that? Maybe he had a good rea-”

“Harry! He made that choice for you today! Stop making excuses for him!”

Harry snapped his mouth shut, his heart beating rapidly. Distantly, he heard screeching tires against pavement. Slowly, Harry stood up and shakily made his way out of his bedroom and into the hall. “Jeff... I think somebody's here.”

He stared down the hallway that leads to the stairs. Usually if he focused hard enough, he'll be able to hear the front door...

Harry's breath caught in his throat as he heard the lock downstairs unlock and the door open. “Oh my god,” Harry whispered frantically, running his hand through his hair, “Louis here!”

“Listen to me, Harry. Go inside your room now.” Harry listened to the instructions and ran back inside. “Pack a small duffel bag and get out of there. He's going to try to get you to forgive him, and you need to be strong, Harry. Remember what you want. If he can't be with you the way you deserve, then fuck it, Harry. You cant do anything else.”

Harry nodded and muttered his goodbye, promising Jeff he'll do as he was told. His hands were shaking uncontrollably and Harry can hear Louis running up the stairs now. Quickly, he ran towards his walk-in closet, grabbing the nearest bag he can find and stuffing jeans and underwear in them. Harry ignored the mess of vans and jackets that only could belong to Louis. He was nearing his t shirts and sweaters when the door to the bedroom finally opened. More like slammed open.

“Harry!!”

Harry closed his eyes at the feeling of regret clawing up at him. He didn’t want to do this, but what other options did he have? Holding his breath, Harry stayed deep in the dark part of the closet without moving. If the situation wasn't so serious, he would have found it ironic really. But what are the chances he'll look in here?

Apparently, pretty great considering not even a second later, Louis appeared in the doorway. He was out of breath, chest heaving, eyes red, and looking as gorgeous as the last time Harry saw him. Louis' eyes trailed to the bag in Harry's hands. 

“Harry?” He whispered brokenly.

Harry tore his eyes away, swallowing the knot in his throat and continued to gather up a couple sweaters.

Louis pressed a hand to his mouth to try to control the whimpers that were trying to escape, watching tearfully as the love of his life gathered up his belongings. Harry should have known it wouldn’t last though. Louis is... well Louis. And when he doesn’t get what he wants or something doesn’t go his way. He reacts – strongly.

Harry gritted his teeth as Louis let out a cry and launched his body towards the duffel bag, grabbing it. He tightened his grip on it. “Let go, Louis!”

“No! You're not going anywhere!” Louis grabbed hold of Harry's wrist and tried to yank it away from the bag. Harry just let go of it as if burned, not wanting to let himself enjoy too much of Louis skin on his, also causing Louis to fall to the ground as Harry's pressure on the bag lifted. Without missing a beat, Louis reached into the bag and started removing the clothes and tried putting them back into their rightful place.

Harry growled, snatching every article of clothing that Louis took out. “Stop that! Stop it, Louis!” He hastily shoved all the shirts he had fisted in his hands back into the bag, fighting Louis' arms as he did so.

“No!” Louis cried, tears beginning to fall, “Please, talk to me!” He grabbed some of the shirts Harry had and threw it across the closet. Considering Harry's love for clothes, they were a pretty big distance away now.

Beyond angry and frustrated, Harry finally won back his bag from the smaller boys posession. “Then talk!” He thundered.

Louis paused, taken back at the amount of anger in Harry's voice. Harry was never mad at him. Harry never even yells at him. Harry doesn’t yell at anyone! Swallowing, Louis shrunk back a little, scared of this Harry. His beautiful green eyes were darker and intense, boring into Louis as if he knew what he was going to say and already deemed it childish. A waste of time... of space...

Louis broke his gaze and looked down at Harry's boots. “Please...”

“Stop saying please! Stop saying sorry!”

Louis stopped and closed his eyes.

“Just tell me, was it really you?”

Louis nodded, “Yes. It was, Haz.”

Harry hissed, “Don't. Don't call me Haz.”

Louis looked up and continued, “I couldn’t do it, Harry. The things that were being written to me, every day. I couldn’t go back to that.”

“So you just dismiss us and declare yourself straight! Did you even think about us? What about the promise you made me! That we'll stick though this together! That it will be alright!”

Louis scowled, “It will be! I just need more time!” Louis shook his head, pleading with his eyes to Harry. “I'm not ready, Harry! Everyone is going to mock me! Call me a fag! Everything I've worked so hard to achieve in this band will all be gone! I'll be 'that gay one' again!”

Harry scoffed, “Because you'll be the only one in the band going through it! I'm putting myself through the same thing as you! I want to, actually! Every negative comment there is, there are 5 other positive ones there!”

“Maybe for you!” Louis yelled, voice cracking. “Perfect Harry Styles! Everyone already loves you! What problems will you be facing? You don't see the things that are written about me! I'm a horrible singer, I dress like a bum, I'm the ugliest in the band...” Louis mocked, sobs mixing in with his yells. He gasped, “Oh no! Not Harry Styles, he gets articles on articles praising his clothes, his hair, his sexuality now! A comment in an interview here and there and people are already embracing you as a bisexual!”

Harry stared in horror as the words left Louis mouth. He didn’t know Louis felt this way. That he had it any better...

Louis wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He stepped forward, “Now Harry, please for fucks sake, just put the bag down and we'll discuss coming out at a later date-”

“I'm still coming out.” Harry whispered.

Louis stopped. “What?”

Harry squared his shoulder and looked down at the blue eyed boy. His beautiful blue-eyes and flawless mouth... Harry shut his eyes and inhaled sharply. “I'm still coming out. Without you, Louis.” He opened his eyes and saw Louis, mouth open in shock and hurt in his eyes.

“W-what?”

“I can't do this anymore, Louis. I cant pretend to be okay with being your dirty little secret any longer...”

Louis opened his mouth to protest, but Harry lifted up his hand. “You can't even deny it Louis. Instead of me being your boyfriend, I've become some twisted affair you have on the side - the second choice..." Harry paused.

"My second choice?" Louis repeated quietly back in shock, not knowing where Harry was getting these stupid (stupid!) thoughts.

"To the world you have Eleanor. She was your mothers maid-of-honor, Louis! Maid-of-honor! She was your girlfriend of three years, and everyone else be damned if that isn’t true right? You sure defend that relationship a lot more than you did ours. You sure pushed her to your family enough times, that even the girls like her more than me! They hang out, instagram photos, defend her even...” Harry's voice wavered.

Louis shook his head and let out a small string of “no, no, no...”

Harry stared sadly at him, “Our families don't talk to each other anymore, we never go out together, and … Louis I’m tired, tired of lying, of trying so hard for something that you're not putting equal effort to. I'm tired of always feeling like I'm the one losing here, losing a battle I didn't even know until today I was fighting.”

“What are you saying, Harry?” Louis asked, gasping for the air that seemed have vanished.

Harry shook his head. “We're over, Louis.”

Louis face fell and his whole body seemed to sag to the floor. “No!” He cried.

Harry shook his head and turned away, the sight of Louis in tears bringing forth a wave of his own. Swallowing, he gathered up whatever strength he had left in his body and willed it forward – away from Louis. Away from their closet. And eventually, away from their house. 

Louis heart-broken cries were still ringing in his ears, along with his own, as he reversed his car out of the long drive way.


	2. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regardless if it was Louis or not who actually wrote those tweets in real life, in this story he did :( and this is nowhere near being a headcanon. I believe Harry and Louis are currently cuddled in bed watching Love Actually.

As soon as Harry neared the gates to the small luxurious community of houses, the long gates moved out of his way automatically. He turned to look at the gatekeeper in uniform and waved his thanks. He must have recognized him from the many times he's been here before.

Slowly, Harry eased himself to the right building, parking his car in front of the long yard. Exhaling, harry ran his hands across his face. He came to Alexa's house hoping she would be here. Ed was out of town, still on tour, Jeff was literally on the other side of the planet, and Harry really didn’t want to explain to the boys what happened yet. Truthfully, he was scared of their opinions and the advice they'll try to give. Zayn would most likely choose Louis side, Niall would maybe (maybe) side with him, and he knows for a fact Liam will stay out of it completely. 

Harry bit his lip tearfully, pulling out his phone. He sent Zayn a quick text message: 'Check up on Louis, please?' He didn’t want to imagine Louis by himself, crying in the same position Harry left him in.

'Okay? Why?'

Harry shook his head, crying silently as he texted back slowly. 'We broke up.'

It didn’t take long for a response. 'WTF?!'

Multiple responses. 

'Why?!'

'Because of those fucking tweets?!'

Harry let out a sob and turned off his phone. He couldn’t deal with having to fight and explain to Zayn exactly why he did it, even though he knows Zayn means well and doesn't blame him for wanting to defend Louis. Sighing, Harry looked back up and yelled. Flinching back away from the window, it took Harry a second to recognize the figure outside his window and another few to calm his racing heart. 

It was Alexa, arms crossed in front of her and narrowed eyes staring at him. As soon as his eyes met hers, she opened his car door and unbuckles his seat belt, her drawl of an accent meeting his hears, “Come on, darling. Stop sitting in front of my house like a creep. Gave me a fright until I recognized it was your car out here.”

“Lex...” Harry cried, climbing out of the car and into her arms. 

“Oh, Harry!” She gasped, hugging him back tightly while her hand soothed his back softly.

“Did you see Louis' tweets?” He mumbled into her hair.

“No, but I heard. Nick called me.” She frowned, “Please tell me it's over?”

Harry leaned back against the car, face twisted into agony. He couldn’t say a sound, so he gave a choked sound and nodded. 

Alexa grimaced sympathetically and looked around the neighborhood. “Come inside Harry, before anyone spots you.” She reached inside the car and retrieved his bag from the passenger seat. Wrapping her arm around Harry's shoulder, she steered him towards the house, all the while looking for any signs of papparazzi's or any of his fans.

Harry shrunk into her gratefully and entered the luxurious house. It was as stylish as you would expect it to be from Alexa Chung – also extremely unfamiliar. “You remodeled your house?”

Alexa nodded, “Months ago, sweetie.”

“Oh,” Harry said, eyes downcast, “Yes, I haven’t really been over in a while.”

“Which is fine,” she shrugged, “A world-wide stadium tour is pretty time consuming.” She smiled cheekily, “And I don't mind visiting that lovely house of yours in L.A. every once in a while. It's a mini vacation for me, I'd say – and your house is beautiful.”

Harry gave her a small smile, “ Well yea I would hope so, you decorated it remember? Before I went on tour.”

Alexa poked her tongue out and motioned for him to follow her. “Okay, now this is your room. Your welcomed to stay as long as you like, H.” She said walking into the large guest room and placing his bag on the bed.

“Thank you.” He said, letting his eyes roam around the room. It looked comfy and spacious, yet it wasn’t his and Louis room. There were no dirty mugs on the bedside, no Vans cluttering the floor, and 

“Harry, can I ask you a question though?”

Harry glanced at her warily.

Alexa shook her head, “Not about what happened. I saw those tweets, honestly everybody saw them already. Bit embarrassing for him, innit? Especially since we all kinda know the truth. I just wanted to know, why come here? Not that I mind, I'm flattered. I would have thought Nick would have been your first choice, is all.”

Harry bit his lip and shuffled uncomfortable, “Me and Nick … aren't really on speaking terms right now.”

Alexa scoffed, “I'm usually not on speaking terms with the twat either, but he is the best at making people feel better. And he loves you, kid. You can't really think he'll be mad at you for anything.”

Harry laughed bitterly, “Yea well last time we talked he called me and idiot and to not go running to him when me and Louis don't work out. So...”

Alexa rolled here eyes. “Obviously that means go to him when it happens!”

“I'm not in the mood nor have the urge to hear Nick act righteous and bash on Louis.” Harry shook his head. “I'm just going to call it a night. Thank you again for letting me stay.”

She hummed and nodded, “Anytime.” She paused before continuing, “Although I wished it were under better circumstances, I'm happy that you're here.” She smiled softly and left, bidding him goodnight.

Harry's face crumbled as soon as she closed the door behind her. He buried himself into the bed fully clothed and his bag right next to him, not having the energy to do anything. He wrapped himself up into a cocoon and stared at the wall. God, what did he do? Was it too late to take it all back and go home? 

No, Harry couldn't. There are a million and one reasons why him and Louis just wouldn’t work out. He has to stop pretending that he was alright being pushed aside and finally pay attention to what everyone around him was trying to tell him.

That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt like hell. Tears sprang to Harry's eyes as he imagines having to look at Louis almost everyday and not be able to be near him – in private, as well as publicly. Maybe he could do it, since he does have a lot of practice pretending already.

Soon Harry fell into a restless sleep, tear marks on his cheeks and stains on his pillow. 

Not 20 minutes away, Louis Tomlinson was in a state of frantic desperation. He took a gulp of alcohol from the bottle he was nursing and tried calling Harry again. It was his 23rd time doing so.

“Mate?”

Louis barely recognized Zayn's voice drifting to where he sat on the floor near the bed, too busy slamming his foot down on the floor in frustration and hearing Harry's voice mail again.

“Louis?” Zayn entered the room and groaned at the sight, “Mate...”

Louis glared at him, “What?”

Zayn raised an eyebrow, “Don't get mad at me now. I've been calling and texting you. Why didn’t you answer, I could’ve been home sleeping.”

“Then go home!” Louis snapped, “I'm trying to get a hold of Harry, that’s why I haven’t answered.”

Zayn walked over and crouched own next to his best friend. “How about you give Harry his space for a bit, yea?” He tried prying the phone out of Louis hands but the smaller boy just batted his hands at them. 

“Stop it, Zayn. No... no, he needs to come back. He needs to understand.” Louis whimpered, tears starting to fall. Zayn sighed and hugged him tightly. “I just – don’t get it. He said he'll never leave me. That he would always love me.”

“He still does. I'm sure of it. You're LouisandHarry. That boy has nothing but heart eyes for you.”

Louis shook his head and cried, “He still left me. Even after I begged him not to. I begged him, Zayn!”

“Well, I think maybe he's just confused right now. Those tweets probably shocked him, is all. It's important you give him his space, ok?”

Louis scoffed, “So that he can fall out of love with me?” He shook his head and lifted up his phone to try and call again, “I don’t think so.”

Zayn rolled his eyes, “I really don’t think that's how it works, but fine bother him all you want. He'll just get really annoyed with you and ignore you more.”

Louis bit his lip, “Ugh! I cant just let this be, though! I can't let today end and tomorrow come with things like this!

Zayn took Louis shoulders and glared at him, “What you need to do is damage control Louis!”

“That's what I'm doing, Malik!” Louis gave him a look as if he's stupid.

“Not with Harry! The fans! The media! Have you been ignoring managements calls as well as my own?”

“I've been ignoring everyone! I don't want to speak to anyone but Harry.”

Zayn cursed under his breath and pulled out his own phone, frustrated beyond belief with this guy. “You really become Harry-obsessive when you're tipsy. If I were you, instead of trying to get Harry to answer his phone – which I think he turned off by the way, you drunk fuck – I would be trying to undo the damage that got him pissed off in the first place.”

Louis grumbled, “Delete them? What would that do? Knowing the fans they probably screen shot that stupid rant as soon as they saw it.”

“Give me a second.” Zayn held up a finger and left the room to answer an incoming call – from Liam? 

“Say hi to your boyfriend for me.” Louis said bitterly, tears springing to his eyes again at the mention of boyfriends. He knows Zayn and Liam aren't together, both clearly straight, but can't help but feel jealous at how nobody cares that the fans ship those two together just as much as people ship Larry. Ok, maybe not as much, but close enough to warrant some topic of discussion, right? If Louis couldn’t touch Harry in public, why could they still touch each other?

He shook his head at his thoughts and raised the bottle of alcohol to his lips again, eyes flickering over the empty room. Harry's scented candles were placed tastefully around the place, matching furniture and drapes all Harry's idea, his collection of long-forgotten 80's rock band CD's and if Louis went into the closet, he can guarantee he'll see 80% of it filled with Harry's clothes – Louis not caring to put his in drawers (or floors). Besides “you don't put Saint Laurent in a drawer, Louis!”

Louis let out a sob, taking another big gulp of alcohol to try to let the sting of missing Harry to go away. After a few minutes of wallowing in pity, Louis looked up to see Zayn walk back in. “So, what's the damage?”

Zayn shrugs, “Too soon to tell. Liam talked to management since neither you nor Harry were answering their phones and he said you have to go into a meeting tomorrow with them.”

Louis groaned, “Great.”

“You'll need to go after we record part of that Children In Need song in the studio tomorrow.”

Louis gasped, “I completely forgot about that! That means I’ll get to see Harry. He cant ignore me when we're in the same room together.”

Zayn raised his eyebrows, “Uh yea, he can, and you can't say anything to him either. You’re still closeted, and this all has a time line remember. You can't just waltz into a room singing a love sonnet for Harry in front of strangers.” 

Louis made a noise in the back of his throat with a mix of anger, regret and frustration. He felt like crying.

Zayn continued, “In the meantime, Modest is going to go back to monitoring what the media outlets say about you. They'll try to contain this as much as possible – like they did with Larry Stylinson.”

Louis nodded sadly. Years of Louis trying to gain control of his own image down the drain because of a stupid mistake. 

Zayn slowly took the bottle from his hand, taking a pull from it as well. “Now how about a little weed before we try to call it a night? You can come over my house.”

“Yes to the weed, but no the leaving. Harry can come back at any time and I need to be here.” Louis said firmly, leaving no room for discussion. 

Zayn rolled his eyes and pulled the joints he had in his pocket out. He already had them prepared, ready for the right time to pull them out.

“Wait!” Louis yelled, stopping Zayn from lightening them up. “Let's go to the living room. Harry hates it when I smoke in here.”

Zayn refrained from saying something, knowing that Louis will bite his head off if he implies that Harry won't be coming back. A good friend would be trying to ease that knowledge into his head, coerce him to leave the house and stand up on his own again without Harry. But Zayn knows Louis just needs to relax and talk about it first. Zayn still doesn’t know the full story to be giving out suggestions on his next course of action. 

That – and Louis will hear none of it. For as long Louis has known Harry, the younger lad has always been with him. Stuck together as best friends then lovers. Louis loves the attention and Harry always supplied it and worshiped him. The relationship was mutual with Louis never letting Harry get hurt nor insecure. It was a relationship all the boys at one point envied, but soon got over. Now it seems more like a culture shock to them both, having to deal with the prospect of one not having the other. 

Following Louis downstairs, Zayn remained tight lipped on the fact that he thinks they might get back together anyways, not wanting to demean the amount of hurt Louis was feeling. To be honest, Louis could be a drama queen at times, so Zayn and the other boys were going to wait it out. Their “break ups” never last more than a couple weeks anyways.

Unknown to Zayn, somebody else was thinking the same thing. Except unlike Zayn, he really didn’t want the two to get back together. Its no that Nick didn't like Louis – because, while that may be true, it's not the reason for Nick's hate towards the relationship. He just saw how unhealthy they were for each other. It was sick and just plain wrong. He cares for Harry and the two got into a major fight last year when Harry played him a song he had written; “A Little Bit of Your Heart”. It's completely masochistic and wrong the way Harry thought is was perfectly ok to have to share the love of your life. Nick tried (he really tried) telling Harry he deserves better and to get rid of that state of mind he has. Harry doesn’t have to share Louis with anyone. Point blank. 

In the end, Nick hates Louis for not having the balls to stand up to his management for Harry. Harry deserves to have someone stand up for him and he's sick of seeing him get hurt and pushed aside. He understands the need to be in the closet, he gets it. Their in a boyband with a demographic of mainly teenage girls. Yet, he draws the line at having to flaunt a girlfriend in your boyfriends face. Having her over in the tour bus, fashion shows, pictures with Louis family...

Nick shook his head at the countless of times Harry was at his house mopping like a kicked puppy because of that girl. He quickly made his way to Alexa's house the next morning before his show. He knows it's an ungodly hour, but she has to be awake anyways... he thinks.

Ringing the doorbell repeatedly, he waited impatiently for it to open. A second later, an angry tall woman answered the door.

“Nick,” Alexa spit out with gritted teeth. “I heard it the first time, and the second, so I don’t need a third or fourth ring!”

“I brought coffee!” He lifted his Starbucks cup holder. 

She glared at him but reached over to retrieve one. With a flick of her hair, she ignored him and went back into the house. Sighing he followed her inside, closing the door behind him. Coffee in hand, he made his way towards the guest room. 

Peeking inside he saw a figure underneath the heavy bed comforter. “Harry?” He shuffled nervously waiting for a response. It's definitely been a while since they've talked, who knows how Harry might react to him being here. “It's Nick.”

He didn’t wait long, as Harry's rough, sleepy voice filled the silence, “What do you want?”

“Well I brought coffee.” He smiled brightly, clearly proud of himself.

“Just leave me alone to die.” Harry replied, still wrapped up in bed and not making a move for the coffee.

"Hmm.. nope can't do that. Your fans hate me enough as it is." He grinned to himself. He loved making those girls squirm in anger sometimes, it completely makes his day. He walked over to the bed and sat next to the buried figure, "Now, get up! We have so much work to do!"

Harry's hands appeared form under the blanket to stop Nick's hands from shaking him, "S-stop Nick! I don't have to do anything until 12!" Harry groaned remembering he'll have to face everyone in a matter of hours.

"No, you have to get up, get dressed, and come to work with me! Nobody has seen you in fucking ever! And you havent seen the new building yet!" Nick emplored. "You have to get out Haz. Don't let him see you down. Besides, you can't stay here all day, either."

Harry pulled the blanket from his face to glare at his friend, "Don't talk about him. and I bloody can stay here all day - well until 12."

Nick scoffed, "Okay, stay here then. I was trying to be a friend and get you from slipping into a depression."

"I'm not depressed." Harry grumbled.

"BUT," Nick continued, ignoring him, "If you wanna lay here and hide away then be my guest. Ignore the people that only want to see you happy. Its fine." Nick sniffed dramatically and looked away.

Harry stared at him and sighed, sitting up on the bed, "Fine, I'll go to work with you. But as long as you don't ask me about Louis or what happened. I'll tell you that later - after i get my coffee and some breakfast. And throw in some lunch too."

Nick stared at him for a while and asked solemly, “Alright but one quick question, are you planning on getting back together in a few days or after a bit of groveling?”

Harry looked down at his hands and bit his lip. After a second, he straightened up his posture and stared at him in the eyes. “No. Louis and I are over – for good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Comments are appreciated! ;)


	3. M.J.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Matthew James - looks like Henry Cavill
> 
> AND PLEASE DONT HATE ME FOR THIS CHAPTER.

Harry sat up on his bed for a whole 5 minutes before he groaned and began to move. Stretching his muscles until they happily cracked in place, Harry shifted uncomfortably in his clothes from last night, suddenly itching to get them off. On regular occasions, Harry needs to sleep naked. He's surprised he didn’t start undressing in his sleep.

Reaching next to him, he pulled his bag of clothes to him, unzipping it to see what clothes he threw in there haphazardly. Choosing the clothes less wrinkled, he set them aside and walked into the adjoining bathroom for his morning routine. Nick was somewhere else in the house talking to Alexa, he thinks.

Knowing Nick is pressed for time to get to work he brushes his teeth with a new toothbrush he found in a drawer and only washes his face. Unfortunately, his eyes were still puffy and red, with dark circles around them. It's clear to anyone who sees he spent the night crying and had little to no sleep.

Cringing at his reflection, he stepped away from the mirror and began getting dressed. He pulled on a black, knit sweater that hung loosely on his frame and showed a bit of his collarbones. Satisfied with the jeans he wore last night, he picked them off the floor and proceeded to wear them again, the holes in the knees catching on his toes and causing him to fall. Huffing, he continues to shimmy into the tight jeans, until they fit and tight against his long legs. Standing up, he put on his signature black boots, slipped on his rings, and started walking over to Alexa's room where he can hear voices talking. Stopping at the entrance to her room, he pulled out the hair tie from around his wrist and pulled his soft curls into a loose bun on the top of his head.

Alexa stopped focusing on Nick and gave his outfit of a choice a once over. Scoffing, she shrugged, “That'll due I guess. It's cute.”

Nick turned to Harry and sighed, “Yet I don't know if wearing all black is going to send out the “I'm okay without you” message.”

Harry scowled at Nick and rolled his eyes, not offering up a response.

Alexa hummed and pointed at him, “Actually, we might be able to cover up your eyes a bit.”

Harry pouted at her for mentioning his eyes. He hoped they weren’t that obvious. Harry pointed behind him, “I think I have a pair of sunglasses in the car.”

Alexa shook her head as she rummaged around her vanity, “We need something you can wear at all times – even indoors. Aha! Here we go!” She handed him over a pair of non-prescription glasses. They were black rimmed and sorta big – but not too big where it looked ridiculous and appropriate for an elderly.

Putting them on, he looked at himself in the mirror. He looked good. He can just see Louis now, smiling and rolling his eyes, calling him a cliché hipster. Sighing at the thought of Louis, Harry looked down at his feet. “I really don’t think I want to go out today.”

Nick stood behind Harry. “Well no, you can't back out now. We're leaving.” He grabbed Harry's shoulders and led him out the room. Harry let him take him, dragging his feet dejectedly.

“Bye, Lex!” Nick yelled over his shoulder.

“Bye!! Bring him back in one piece Grimmy!”

After stopping to get his long black coat from the room, they started for Grimmy's car, Harry nursing his lukewarm cup of coffee in his hand.

“Can we stop for breakfast?” Harry asked as they climbed in.

“Uh..” Nick glanced at the clock. “No. I can't but we'll send an intern to pick up some food when we get there.”

Harry nodded and leaned back in his seat of the car, watching as the scenery changed outside his window with a blank face.

“Harry?”

He only hummed to show that he was listening.

“Come on, you're even depressing me now... Have you turned on your phone?”

Harry inhaled and blinked slowly, still looking out the window. “Um... no.”

Nick waited for him to continue, knowing that Harry will take his time in saying what he wanted to say, like always.

True to his slow-speaking nature, Harry continued, “I don't think I want to. What do I even do? I don’t want to go on twitter.... nor speak to anyone. To be honest, I'm embarrassed Grimmy.”

Nick nodded, understanding why he would be. From what he's heard through their mutual friends and Gemma, Harry has been over the moon to be coming out with Louis. Now, it just seems as if Louis was stringing the poor boy along, never intending to come out in the first place.

“God, I'm so stupid!” Harry cried, burrowing his face into his hands and hide his tears.

“Hey! You're not stupid!” Nick looked over quickly from the driver's seat. “Hey, stop crying right now! Or I swear I'll pull over.”

Harry glared at him tearfully, “Can you not?! Let's just get to the radio station. I'm starving.” He snapped his fingers towards the front of the car. “And pay attention, will ya?! We're not getting into an accident because of you!”

Nick laughed, “Why not? It'll only be the second time it happens because of you.”

“Heeeeyy.” Harry scowled. “No one told you to call me and make fun of me for throwing up. It was all your fault.”

Nick waves it off, not responding, instead he swerves into a private parking lot. “Yay! Work...” He says sarcastically.

Harry yawned and raised his eyebrows in acknowledged. Yea – work! A job which isn’t even his but was dragged at 5 am to go in to anyways. He doesn’t mind though. Not really. He used to do this constantly, albeit more so when Grimmy's show was in the evening. The had a crazy amount of laughs and fun back then, in between songs and specials. The audience usually never knew he was here, standing off to the side bothering Nick and the crew instead. If Nick's producer was in a fun mood, he would have let Harry speak into the mic every once in a while or Nick would always let him choose a song or two.

Today, though, they would have to go through hoops if they wanted Harry to talk on the show, needing a couple of people to authorize it. It annoyed Harry to no end. The fact that he didn’t even own his voice anymore was disturbing.

Harry and Nick walked into the main lobby of the building without any hassle. The security guard let them pass without even a blink of the eye, although on their way up every person did a double take at seeing Harry.

He ignored them in favor of looking at the new BBCR1 building. “Hmm... fancy.” He smirked at Nick. “No more doors that locks behind you right.”

Nick groaned at the memory of that. “Ugh! I used to always forget too! Thank god, I only went in that room without a phone once!”

Harry agreed, having the misfortune to go into that supply room once before without anyone. Although he was the victim, he still laughs at the amount of panic the whole building went through to look for him.

Nick spotted Ricky, one of the few interns. “Hey Ricky!”

“Uh – its Eric.”

Nick shrugged. “Can you go to the Cafe down the street and pick us up some sandwiches and more coffee. An egg sandwhich for me and-” Nick turned to Harry.

“BLT.” Harry chirped from beside Nick, grinning down at the boy.

Eric blushed under Harry's gaze and stuttered, “Uh- yea. Yea sure. Be right back!” with that the mousy kid scrambled off.

“Aww... look at that. Another guy wrapped around your finger. Ricky kid is cute – hit that.” Nick suggested, nodding at his own suggestion.

Harry wrinkled his nose. “Um no thanks. I literally broke up with my boyfriend like 12 hours ago, Nick.”

Nick turned to him scandalized. “Please tell me your not counting the hours!” He shook his head in disbelief and pushed the door to the studio open. “Finchy!!”

“What do u want from my life, Gri- Oh! Harry!!” Matt and the rest of the crew got up to greet Harry, each hugging him and saying how great it was to see him.

“Altright, alright. Enough. Time to get this show on the roll.” Nick said, situating himself in his seat.

Alexa reminded him yesterday that Nick usually has this gift of making people feel better and Harry really couldn’t believe he's forgotten this fact. Usually Nick is obnoxious and weird – but he's a good friend and one thing they both love dearly is music. Hours later Harry is jamming into his seat to one of his many requested songs Nick decided to play: The Kills – Future Starts Slow.

Harry bopped his head to the awesome guitar riffs in the song, smiling to himself. For a second he forgot about his problems and Louis, and all the things suffocating him. Drumming his hands on his knees he followed the beat of the song, closing his eyes. He imagines himself in their concert, jumping up and down to the bass and song.

Opening up his eyes, he froze when they connected with blue eyes. He froze.

Those blue eyes, thankfully weren't Louis but someone else's. Blue eyes in which were staring really intensely at him. Inhaling shakily, Harry tried to look away but the man was staring at him from behind the window directly in front of him. Really hard to ignore someone staring from that distance. He looked extremely familiar but Harry couldn’t place where he saw him. Curled on the seat, Harry played with the rings on his hands, covering most of his hands with his sweater as well. From under his eyelashes, Harry tried to observe him. He was incredibly good looking and looked a lot older than Harry. Blue eyes, black hair, and really distinct muscles. He was also really, really tall – obviously passing Harry himself. Harry stared warily as the man noticed him staring, smirking and winking at him.

Wow, okay. The man was gorgeous.

He turned away from the man's intense gaze and looked at Nick who was speaking to the audience now. Something about a movie and talking to an actor?

Oh my god.

That man was about to get interviewed by Nick. Harry quickly sat up and tried focusing on what Nick was saying but he never mentions a name. As soon as Nick finished introducing the next song, Harry leaned over and whispered, “Who is that man over there? Are you gonna interview him?”

Nick flicked his eyes over his shoulder and smirked. Whats with people smirking at him?!

“Honestly, where have you been, Harry? That's Matthew James. He's here doing some promo in London right now for his new movie. He's sexy as fuck, right? Plus, very successful.”

Harry glared at him and shrugged. “I guess. Don't care. He's just staring at me.”

Nick laughed, “Yea, he definitely is! This is perfect! Hook up with him!”

“No!” Harry objected loudly, drawing the attention of the people around him. Slouching further in his seat, he continued, “Stop whatever you're thinking of doing, Grimmy. I am in no way, trying to get over Louis right now.”

Now it was Nick's turn to glare at Harry, “And why is that?”

Harry sighed and looked away, “You know why.”

Nick nodded, “You still love him, Ok. I get it. He's the love of your life. Your first love, but how many people actually end up with their first loves? I'll tell you – No one!”

Harry looked away pointedly. This is why he sometimes couldn’t stand Nick. Even after him and Louis break up, he's still trying to bash on their relationship.

Nick shook his head and sighed, turning back to his job. Harry sneakily peeked a glance at Matthew and sighed in relief when the man appeared deep in a conversation with someone else. It was short lived though when the man he was talking suddenly moved aside and motioned for Matt to walk inside the small room.

Harry held his breath as the tall muscular guy made his way towards an open chair and mic across from Nick. He coughed a little and averted his gaze as Matt looked up at him as soon as he sat down.

“And here is Taylor Swift's Blank Space – a sassy little single that is. Remember to stay tuned! A guy by Mathew James just stepped into the studio and he's dying to spill all his little secrets, right Matt?”

Matthew smiled and shook his head, “Uh – maybe.” Hm, American. “We'll see what you can get out of me.” He spoke into the mic, eyes flicking over to Harry.

Harry's eyes widened and he looked away, avoiding Nick's smirking glance at his direction.

Nick just laughed in reply and played the next song, taking off his huge headphones. “Hello Matt,” He said stepping up, “Thank you so much for coming to see us.”

Matthew returned the handshake and smiled in return. “Oh no! I was excited to hear I would be coming on your show. You're incredibly funny.”

Nick nodded, “Aw! Thank you so much.” He looked up to see his producers waving him over. “I'll be right back, actually.” With that he stood up and walked over to the men in business suits.

Harry panicked. There might be loads of other people in the room, but everyone else were busy doing other jobs and he and Mathew were literally right across from each other. Okay maybe not right across – more like across and a little bit off the side.

“So, Harry Styles, right? From One Direction?”

Harry looked up to see him smiling at him. He has to admit that’s a very, very nice smile. “Uh, yea, that's me. And, your Matthew James?”

He laughs. “Did you're friend just tell you that ten minutes ago?”

Harry blushed, “No! Well, maybe, but I recognized you from some movies as well...”

His eyes lit up, “Really? You have time to watch movies with a job like yours?”

Harry shrugged, “If the hotel I’m staying at has it, yes. But I'm not on tour anymore, just promo season.”

Mathew nodded, pointing at around the room, “Same here.”

Harry nodded, finding the lag in conversation extremely awkward. After a few seconds of it, he was saved by Nick rushing back into the room. He quickly walked over to his desk and punched a few buttons. Harry could distictly hear the Radio's theme opening (or whatever you call the introduction of the show that plays every 15 minutes) play. “Okay, Harry, you have about 20 seconds to pick the next song, okay?” Nick told him, startling Harry, and running back to his producers.

“Um, okay.” Harry quickly jumped into the next seat and stared at Nick's long archive full of songs. His mind was completely blank! “Holy shit, what song do I play?” He glanced at Mathew, wide-eyes and panicking. He really hates being put under pressure. Damn Nick.

Matthew's eyes also widened at the thought of having to choose. “Shit, uh....”

Harry looked back at the timer. “Oh my gosh!”

“Uh- Take Me to Church!”

Harry quickly found the song and clicked on it, adding it on the queue. “Hozier.” Harry nodded his appreciation. “Really good song choice.”

Matthew grinned, “Yea, was just listening to it on my way here. There's something sexy about the beat, I don’t know.”

Harry smiled and looked away, “I know what you mean.” After a few seconds, he opened his mouth to speak, “So what -”

“What kind-”

Both stopped and stared at each other before bursting out laughing. Harry waved to him, “You go first.”

“I was gonna ask what kind of music you listen to?”

Harry pursed his lips in thought, “Hmm... all kinds of music really. And I don’t want to say that just to sound cool and vague, but I really do listen to a wide variety. From country to alternative – maybe a little more favoritism to the oldies and Indie.”

Matthew smiled and nodded, “A little bit of Guns and Roses?”

Harry gasped playfully, “And don't forget The Eagles!” They laughed. “What music are you into?”

Matthew smiled cheekily, “If I say One Direction?”

Harry nodded very seriosuly, “Good answer.” He turned to see Nick still in a serious conversation. “Actaully-” He went back to the computer, quickly finding the next song and adding it next. Soon, Steal My Girl started playing.

Matthew tutted and shook his head, “Self-promo – have you no shame?”

“Nope!” Harry grinned, proud of himself. He pulled out his tongue at Nick when the he turned to glare at him. What else did he expect leaving Harry in charge? Honestly.

Matthew coughed quietly, “So – uh, what were you going to ask me before?”

Harry tried to remember, “Oh, actually I don’t remember.” He laughed in spite of himself.

The older man in front of him stared at him fondly, before leaning forward. “And how do you like sitting in that chair? Want to become a radio host one day?”

Harry pulled a face. “No, nope – no! Besides, I don’t think anyone will listen to my show. People say I talk too slow and morbid.” He shrugged and looked away. He was always made fun of for it.

“Nothing wrong with that. So what if you took your time planning out what you wanted to say? Probably avoid getting into bad situations that way.” Matthew gave him a small reassuring smile, “And I like your voice. Its not slow, nor morbid. More like sexy and soothing at the same time.”

Harry's breath hitched, “Sexy?”

Blue eyes bore straight into green. “Very much so, yes.” Matt leaned a little bit closer, lowering his voice. “I can just imagine how it sounds the day after.”

HOLY SHIT, the day after. The day after a night of sex? Harry thinks that what he is trying to imply. Oh damn, Harry now knows this guy is flirting with him and he might be getting heart palpitations, but this guy just implied SEX. (S-E-X). This very well-known actor is flirting with him. Harry is experienced with getting hit on by male fans and many other girls but by another hot male celebrity? How does he handle this?

Harry licked his lips unknowingly, drawing the other males eyes straight to them. Harry stopped breathing and said the first thing that popped into his head, “Um.. I have a boyfriend.”

That definitely ruined the moment.

Matthew blinked and opened his mouth to reply but couldn’t get to say anything because at that moment, Nick came rushing back in. “Alright, Harry move over, please?”

Harry quickly moved back to his seat and tried to control his breathing. Okay, not good. Really not good. Not only did he say he have a boyfriend. Which is not true but kinda true, because Harry loves Louis. He does. Their just, in a fight? A really bad fight?

Harry closed his eyes. Oh god, he didn’t even know what he wanted to do in regards to Louis, but now he has just came out to a complete stranger. A hot, gorgeous stranger who is also a celebrity. Who knows where this could go? Will he say something? Harry did kind of reject his proposition, what if he's upset?

“Okay, hello everyone! That was One Direction with their new single Steal My Girl.” Nick rolled his eyes at Harry. “Their new album is out in a few days, so go get it yea? In today, we have Mathew James, say hi Matthew.”

Matt teared his eyes away from Harry and leaned into the mic. “Hello everyone!”

“Okay, so Matthew, we asked people on twitter to send in some questions you can answer for us in a bit. But first let's get to the movie, what is it about? And is it any good - be honest!”

Matt laughed. “Yes, it's very good! It has a very, famously good, director, James Cameron – someone who I had the pleasure to work with before and now got to again. It's about this guy who has to literally travel through time and space to get back to his daughters. It has action, adventure, and enough sentimentality to make the women cry.”

Nick laughs, “That means it'll probably make me cry.”

“Well, now you have to see it.”

“Well I don’t wanna cry, mate! So I don’t know!”

They laugh and continue talking about the movie. It's actually pretty close to what interviewers ask him. Who's usually late to work? Any pranks or mischief behind the scenes? How is this different than doing the last movie (last album in Harry's case)? Harry is embarrassed to admit he pays close attention to all the answers. It isn't until they get to the fan questions that causes Harry to freeze.

Nick reads off the monitor, “Since coming out a few years ago, have you found it hard to play straight characters opposite a female love interest?”

Matthew shakes his head, “Not at all! It's acting and we're all professionals. It's no different to when straight actors have to pretend to be in love with a complete female stranger. Or a straight guy has to kiss another male. It's for the art of the script and the character you play, not a reflection of yourself nor who the person behind that character is.”

“Well said.” Nick nodded, looking back at the questions.

Harry stared at his hands deep in thought. This man was out and completely open about it. Apparently he came out years ago and his career is still thriving. Harry couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous over that fact. How long does Harry have to wait to be as free as the man across from him? Well at least people are already assuming he's bisexual, but that's not the same thing as hearing a confirmation coming form Harry’s mouth.

“And I'm going to ask this myself, because we literally ask this question to every single celebrity and there’s probably about hundreds in here with the same question. Any celebrity crush? And I don’t count.” Nick winked at him.

“Hmm... celebrity crush...” Matthew dragged the answer, ignoring Nick's wink.

“Yes, any good lad out there that caught your fancy?”

“Caught my fancy?” Matthew repeated with a smile, clearly enjoying the British saying. “Hm, definitely has to be Harry Styles. He’s a pretty gorgeous guy.”

Oh shit.

Nick laughed, turning to look at Harry's shocked expression. “Harry Styles! Mind if I tell him then? Might set you two up one of these days, what do you say?”

Matthew grinned, “Go ahead, although I hear he's taken at the moment, so don't know if that will happen. Oh well.” He shrugged.

Nick raised an eyebrows, “Taken? Oh no, not anymore actually – thank god!”

Harry turned to glare at Nick. No – oh my god, no. Not only was he caught lying to Matthew, but now Nick practically told the whole world that he was in a relationship with someone. After months of telling interviewers he was single this whole time!

“Oh, no?” Matthew turned to Harry.

“You guys would be so prefect together! And hot! A real hot couple. I'm going to text him now!”

Harry looked at him as if he was stupid. What was he doing?! If they weren't live, Harry would have yelled at the man!

Matthew smiled and laughed, playing along with Nick in pretending that Harry wasn't here. “Okay, what did you text him?”

“Do. You. Think. Matthew. James. Is. Fit. Question Mark.”

Matthew laughed again, “Oh wow. Now I'm going to get rejected live on radio.”

“Oh don't be like that, he might – oh my god, would you look at that?” Nick gasped dramatically, widening his eyes at Matthew. “Harry just texted. He said, Yes, he is, exclamation mark exclamation mark exclamation mark! All in caps and a lot of heart eye emojis. Well he's certainly crushing hard for you too, isn’t he?”

Harry rolled his eyes and tried take a deep breath to control his racing heart. Okay – no big deal right? Nick just decided to tell the whole world he thing Matthew James is fit. This definitely will add more fuel to the rumor of him being bisexual.

“Oh wow, stop! He didn’t say that!”

“Yes, he did!”

“Well, I'm definitely blushing right now! Now, we should stop before his fans start sending me death threats.”

Nick waved him off. “Oh, honey, you'll definitely be getting them soon. But isn’t little Harold worth it?”

Matthew looked over at Harry and smiled. “Oh, he is. No doubt about that.”

This. Idiot.

The end of the interview was drawing near, with a few more fan questions. Matthew apparently will be spending his birthday back home in New York in a couple weeks after some promo in Australia. He also is most excited to be signed on to be in the next Superman movie as the villain. Soon, Nick was bidding his goodbye and, with one last look at Harry, Matthew was ushered out the door.

Nick quickly played a song and turned to Harry angrily, “Please tell me you did not just blow off Matthew James!”

Harry shrugged, “Okay, I did not just blow off Matthew James.”

Nick rolled his eyes, “Seriously, if I knew you were going to dismiss him, I would’ve tried my hand at him. He's so hot.”

Harry glared at him, “Well you could have, if you wanted to.”

Nick smirked at him, “Nah – besides he has eyes for only you, Harold.”

Harry merely turned away from his smug smile. Why was he friends with him again?

“Um, Harry what time do you have to meet the boys again?”

Harry swallowed, “Um... 12.” If it were up to him, he wouldn’t be going at all.

“Yea, well it's 11:40, so maybe we should arrange a ride for you to get there now. I don't get off until 12, and it'll be too late for you then.”

Harry groaned at the time, “Well I'm practically already late, what's another 20 minutes?”

Nick sighed, “Just go, Harry. The sooner you finish up over there, the faster you can get out and meet me at my house.”

Harry raised an eyebrow, “Who said I wanted to hang out with you again?”

Nick scoffed, “I’m gorgeous and funny. Why wouldn't you want to.”

Harry rolled his eyes and stood up from his chair. He stretched in place while Nick told Eric, the intern to call the car service they use to drive Harry to his destination.

“Shit, I don’t have any security with me. Oh well....” Harry sighed.

Nick looked at him panicked. “Is the place you're going to public knowledge?”

Harry shrugged.

Nick glared at him.

“Kinda.” Harry confessed. “Depends if you know where to look.”

“In other words, every single one of your fans know.”

Harry nodded, “That will be a good assumption.”

“Damn, then a simple car service won't do.”

“What do you mean?! Its not like you didn’t know I had no security!”

“Well excuse me if I just remembered your a popstar!”

They both glared at each other. Harry sighed and pointed to the clock, “Look, it's 11:45. I'm going to just go. Before I get into trouble.”

Nick sighed and eventually nodded, “Fine, but turn on your phone when you get there. Text me once you make inside, and don't attempt to go in if there's a mob outside.”

“Yea, yea..” Harry waved as he made his way to the door. “I'm not stupid, Grimmy.”

“Just be careful, Popstar!”

Harry breathed a sigh of relief as soon as he made it out into the hall. He ignored the curious stares and quickly made it downstairs to the reception desk. The young, blonde immediately straightened up when she saw him walk over, pulling down her shirt a bit and fixing her hair.

“Hello, Harry!” She breathed out, leaning forward to expose more of her cleavage. “How can I help you?”

“Hi...” He smiled weakly. “Um, I was wondering if you may call me a car service?”

She nodded enthusiastically, “Of course, where -”

She was cut off by a deep voice behind Harry. “No, need. You can come with me, if you'd like to?”

Harry slowly turned to face Matthew. “W-what?”

Matthew motioned to the entrance of the building,where he can see a hoard of security men waiting to escort Matt to his car. “Would you like to come with me? My security team is already here. No need to wait for your and your car to get here.”

“Uh - “ Harry stared speechless at the man. “I don't have security with me today.”

Matthew raised an eyebrow. “That sounds really ridiculous. Not to mention dangerous. It's official, you're coming with me.” He took hold of Harry's hand and gently pulled him in the direction of the car.

“Hey -” Harry shook his head, not believing his luck. “Okay, stop. You're awfully forward aren't you?”

Matthew looked behind him and winked, “I just know when I see someone I desperately want to get to know better.” He opened the door to outside for Harry, “Besides, it is dangerous for you to be without security. Any reason for that?”

Harry bit his lip and stepped outside. He might as well go along with the man. He was already probably extremely late and couldn’t afford to wait for another car to get here. He waited until they were situated into the luxurious, leather car seats to answer his question. “Um, I sort of put myself off the map since last night.”

“Hmm, running away?” Matt asked, inching near Harry until their knees were touching.

Harry stiffened and stared at the man's knees. “Um, yea, something like that.”

Matt stared at him for a second longer before sighing and shifting away, taking his knee and body warmth away from Harry. “Okay, I see I’m making you uncomfortable, so I'll back off. I apologize, really I do.”

Harry turned to him with narrowed eyes, “Do yo?”

Matt blinked up and smiled sheepishly, “Do I apologize for flirting? No. But I do apologize for making you tense around me. You can tell me to get the fuck out this car right now. I'll gladly go.” Matt put his hand on the car door handle and opened it up.

“No! Oh my god, no! What are you doing?” Harry laughed and reached across him to close it back up.

Matt shook his head, “Nope. I'm making you uncomfortable.” He tried opening the door again but Harry kept his grip on it.

Harry laughed harder, “You idiot, we're in a moving car!” He shook his head, “Stay.”

Matt turned his head to the side. “What was that?”

Harry smiled at him and bit his lip. “Stay. You don't make me uncomfortable.”

“Well that’s a relief,” Matthew breathed. “I was afraid I really scared you off.”

Harry shook his head and smiled, turning to the driver to give him direction on where to go. The rest of the car ride was spent in silence, Harry turning to look at the scenery behind his window.

Unbeknownst to Harry, Matthew was staring at Harry, not believing that the guy he's had a crush on was sitting right next to him. He first spotted the British heartthrob at Burberry's spring fashion show and has become infatuated with the younger male. Sure, Harry was maybe 6 years his senior but the boy seems incredibly mature and calm for his age. Matthew honestly thought he had zero to no chance at being with him, until just last week, when Harry mentioned being a girl was “not that important” in a relationship. His hopes went up a little. They were skyrocketed earlier this morning when Harry responded back to his flirting.

Matthew doesn’t know who Harry may, or may not, be going out with, but he's convinced to try his damn hardest for a chance at Harry's heart. Matthew was startled out of his reverie by Harry's voice, “Well, looks like we're here.”

Harry sighed at the sight of dozens of girls in the front of the building.

Trying not to let his disappointment show, he smiled down at the young man. “Well, it looks like it. I'll keep in touch. Maybe let my people contact your people.”

Harry laughed, “Who says that?”

Matt shrugged, “That – or I can ask for your number, but I was afraid of another rejection.”

Harry felt guilt claw up his chest. Biting his lip, he nodded, “Well how about you give me your phone then.”

Matthew quickly reached into his pockets and gave him his Iphone 6 plus.

Harry smiled and punched in his number, “Hey, we have the same phone.”

“Must be fate.” Matthew joked.

Rolling his eyes, Harry turned to face the window as the car came to a halt. “Shit...”

Matthew placed a hand in front of Harry before he can move an inch. “Wait, for my team to help you get out.” He whispered close to Harry's ear.

Harry gasped at his close proximity and the feeling of the warm breath hit his ear. Gulping, he nodded silently while Matt internally cheered at his reaction.

They waited until the security men from the second car behind them got out and formed a barrier between the girls and a narrow passage to the entrance.

Before, Harry got out, Matthew placed a hand on his arm, “Hey, Harry.” He smiled warmly at him and continued, “I'm really glad I met you today. And if you ever need to run away again – let me know. I know the perfect place.”

Harry held his breath and nodded dumbly, before turning around and slipping out of the car. Screams suddenly erupted his ears and he quickly made his way to the building, Matthews security actually doing a great job of containing the chaos. Before he entered, he glanced back at the tinted car and smiled to where he knew Matthew was watching him.

It wasn’t until he was inside and being ushered to the correct floor that Harry realized he had finally gotten his mind off of Louis today.

Of course, that small reprieve was short lived because as soon as Harry entered the studio, the small curvacious figure of Louis Tomlinson rounded on him, fuming and pissed off.

“Where the hell have you been?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love comments! Let me know how I'm doing so far. Tell me how you feel about Matthew. Tone him down a bit or do you like him?


	4. This Means War

Harry shrunk into himself trying to evade Louis and move around him, all the while avoiding looking at him. 

Louis just moved in front of Harry again. “Stop ignoring me! Where did you sleep? And why are you so late?”

Harry stopped and glared at Louis annoyed at being attacked after a few seconds of being here, “I don’t know Louis, why do you reek of weed and alcohol?!”

Louis scowled and swallowed tearfully, “Maybe because my boyfriend decided to leave me last night without hearing me out!”

Harry stared incredulously at him, “Are you kidding me?! I heard you out! You just-”

Louis cut him off with his own yells, stepping closer to Harry's face, “No! You were already halfway out the door when I got there! You were going to -”

“Holy shit!” Niall jumped in from of Harry before he can say whatever was almost out of his mouth. “Harry calm down!”

Zayn pushed himself in between them as well and pushed Louis back, “You too, Louis. Let's go.”

Louis glared daggers into Zayn, “No, let me go Zayn.”

Zayn gritted out softly, “Remember what we talked about last night? Take this slowly.” He pushed Louis back, “Now, let's go. We're going to get some fresh air, guys.” He called behind him as he finally pushed a protesting Louis out of the room.

Liam stared wide-eyed at the scene that just occurred within seconds. “Yeah, that would be best.”

Harry shook his head wildly, burying his face to hide his tears. Niall hugged and patted his back, “Aw.. Harry, please don't cry. It'll work out, you'll see.”

“No, Niall.” Harry sniffed, trying to get his breathing under control. “It won't.”

Niall frowned, “What do you mean? You're HarryandLouis.”

Harry stared at the door Louis just left through, “Yea well, Harry's going to have to learn to just be Harry for right now.” He wiped his eyes and cheeks and sat down on one of the couches. 

Niall slowly sunk himself next to him, “Well, we had no way of contacting you to tell you that the session is canceled for today. We just have to come in tomorrow along with all the other artists we're doing it with.”

Harry bit his knuckle and stared at him. “With all the other artists? Including Ellie and Ed?”

Niall sighed, “Yupp...”

Harry raised his eyebrows at him, “Well that'll be fun..” he mumbled.

“Not any more than you having to spend your day with your ex, I'm sure?”

Liam interjected, “We might not have a session, but we're waiting on the guys from Modest to get here. They want to speak to you and Louis, us by extension as well. They also want to throw in an interview with Sugarscape today as well, but that's pretty small.” 

Harry nodded, “Are they coming here, or do we go to them?”

Liam shook his head and scoffed, “Hell no. That'll be too much work to get through the mob outside. Their coming here at around 2.”

Harry flicked his eyes around the room. It was a big room filled with a table filled with food and and a few couches. They were the only ones in the room. Harry brought his knees up to his chest, playing with the hem of his sleeves absentmindedly. He thought back to Louis and their fight. Why did he say that Harry didn’t listen him out? Of course, Harry did!

“I did you know,” He turned to Niall feeling the need to defend himself to the people who overheard. “I heard him out. I didn't just break it off without thinking and listening to him.”

Niall smiled sadly, “I know Harry, it's Louis though.”

Liam stopped twirling in one of the rolling chairs he somehow found. “Yeah, mate. Don’t think much of it. Louis is going to be Louis, but you also need to realize he's hurting as well. He'll probably do whatever it takes to get things back to where they were.”

Harry frowned, “I don’t want things back to the way they were.”

The rest of the boys stayed silent, not knowing what to say to Harry's confession and what that could mean to the band. They can call Harry impatient and stubborn, but Harry isn’t budging anymore. He didn’t go through all this just to go back to how it was.

Harry slowly reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. After a second of hesitation he turned on his phone.

Biting his lip, he looked at the white apple appear on the screen, starting up his phone. Before his lock screen even appeared, the doors opened up, revealing 5 figures in business suits walking in. To their surprise, Harry McGee, Richard Griffiths, and Will Bloomfield came as well. This could only mean something really, really big. 

They stepped forward, shaking hands with them one by one, “Liam, Niall, and Harry. Thank you for staying and meeting us. Where is Louis and Zayn?”

“Here!” Zayn ran in, laughing. “Here, we are.”

Louis followed behind at a much slower pace, giggling behind his hand. “Yup. Here we are.” He waved his hand in the air like a school kid in class getting called for the roll call.

Even from where he sat, the strong stench of weed filled his nostrils. Sighing, Harry turned his head to the side, avoiding Louis gaze.

McGee stepped in the center of the room addressing all the boys equally, “So boys, we are really pressed for time and have this private room for only a short while, so let's make this quick and brief.”

Richard continued, “We would really like to address the elephant in the room.” He turned to Louis, “You and Harry – where are you two?”

Louis raised his eyebrows, “Well, it's actually none of your fucking business.”

Liam scowled while Zayn burst out laughing, “Louis!”

Harry inhaled sharply at Louis disrespect in front of them. It was one thing to bash them from behind their backs, but to their faces?

“Harry?” McGee turned to him. 

He cleared his throat and looked at Louis, who wasn't looking at him, instead glaring at Richard. “Um, we're actually not together anymore.”

They nodded and Harry had to grit his teeth from saying something in anger. It was obvious they were happy to hear that news.

“Okay,” Richard clapped his hands together, “Now, unto damage control. Louis, how about a trip with Eleanor on the weekend? Maybe back to Doncaster?”

Harry's heart dropped at the mention of Eleanor. What's worse is that Louis didn’t say anything, just looked away from them all, preferring to stare at the wall in silence. He tried steadying his breaths and averting his eyes from the other boys concerned glances. From the corner of his eye, he saw Zayn kick Louis in the shins. Louis just continued ignoring them all.

“And maybe go to the X-factor studios after the recording tomorrow? Maybe some good promo will have people writing about something else then the tweets form yesterday?”

At this Louis nodded.

Don't cry. Don't cry. Harry kept that mantra in his head. After all what happened yesterday, he is still willing to go out with her – fucking ridiculous. And the fact that he's apparently heartbroken as well is making Harry even angrier.

“And Harry. Your turn.”

Everyone’s eyes snapped to Richard and Harry. What damage control did he have to do?

“We know about the interview with Matthew James.” 

Harry closed his eyes and groaned. Great, now their going to tell him to go out with a girl to debunk the rumors that he likes Matthew. 

“We think it's an incredible step to coming out with as little to no backlash. If coming out is still what you want of course?”

Harry's eyes snapped open. “What?”

“What?” the rest of the boys asked as well, shocked they were letting Harry still go through with it. Niall and Liam looked at each other smiling, happy for their friend.

“Wait, what interview and what does Matthew James has to do with anything?” Louis demanded, sitting up in his seat.

Bloomfield stepped forward, “Well, he mentioned in an interview with Nick that he had a massive crush on Harry here, who apparently responded to a text by Grimshaw that he returned said feelings.”

“I sent no such text, and it only said I thought he was fit.” Harry explained, “I was with Nick at the time, they were just playing around.” Well Nick was playing around, Matthew was serious. Harry wasn’t about to say that in front of Louis though. Then again, it shouldn’t matter to him. Maybe he'll finally know what the past 3 years have been like for Harry with Eleanor around.

Bloomfield nodded the truth to Harry's statement. “That may be so, but hundreds of Twitter accounts have attached themselves to the “Hatthew ship”, apparently. We've been getting inquiries over your sexuality more than ever now. People want to know what's going to happen next, so be aware it will most likely be brought up in the Sugarscape interview next, along with many interviews afterwards.”

“You haven't blacklisted the topic?” Louis yelled, throwing his hands up. “I swear, the incompetence in this room right now.”

Will glared at Louis. “Well we did not know how to proceed with Harry's coming out, since he turned off his phone and blocked off all communications with him until just now.”

McGee turned to Harry, “So? What do you want to do?”

“We can keep inching your sexuality to the media slowly if you want to. That's still an option.” Richard added.

“No.” Harry shook his head, feeling a bit lightheaded all of a sudden. Clearing his throat he continued. “Send out the statement we've had prepared – today. That... I'm gay.”

McGee's eyes disappeared in his hairline, “Not bi? You sure you don't want to at least prepare the fans?”

Harry sighed and ran a hand through his hair, his hands shaking a bit. “No. No, I'm ready. Just do it. It's now or never.”

“It's now or never?!” Louis repeated, “You've been in the closet for years, why are you itching to get out now? Whats another couple of months?”

“Why, so I can wait until you're ready?” Harry snapped.

“Well – well yeah.” Louis said softly, hurt clear in his voice.

Harry looked down and shook his head, “No, I need to do this for myself. Waiting for you is like waiting for rainfall in the middle of a desert. It's just not worth putting my life on hold for. I've done it for too long, Louis. It's clear to everyone, you're just not ready.”

Louis stared at Harry as if looking at him for the first time. “Did your precious fucking Matthew give you those ideas?” He asked sneeringly. 

Harry glared at him, “No! Did you even listen to me yesterday?! To what I had to say?”

“I was a little preoccupied with trying to get you to stay, but no, you were in such a hurry to leave me and head over to Nick's, then hang out with him and James right?!”

“Ugh!” Harry stood up from his seat, “God, you're unbelievable and so thick!”

“I'm thick?!” Louis stood up as well, eager to start another fight. If he kept Harry at least fighting with him, then that meant Harry still cared. Right?

Harry, on the other hand, was having none of it. “No,” he threw his hands up in surrender, “I'm done here.” With that, Harry walked out of the room as fast as possible, not stopping until he was down the hallway and into the nearest restroom.

Groaning, he let out a deep breath and gripped his hair. Fighting with Louis non-stop is exhausting. He stared a few minutes into his reflection before finally taking off the glasses he's been wearing. He shook his hair out of his bun, and let them fall around his shoulders in loose chocolate curls.

Harry turned on the faucet and began to wash his face with cold water, swallowing down the knot in his throat and washing away the tears that fell down on his way here. After a few seconds and successfully numbing his face with freezing water, he looked back up to find Louis staring at him from across the bathroom.

“SHIT!” He yelled, turning around to glare at him angrily, “Can you announce yourself when coming in?”

Louis ignored him and licked his lips, dragging his eyes down Harry's form.

Harry watched as Louis reached behind him and locked the doors. His breath hitched. “What are you doing?”

“Who's Matthew, Harry?”

He swallowed, “No one. I just met him today, an actor from America.”

Louis raised his eyebrows, “And do you think he's fit?” 

Harry paused, not answering. The way Louis asked was if he was daring Harry to lie. “Um, he's a nice guy.”

Louis rolled his eyes. “That's not what I asked Harold.” He walked closer to Harry, every step closer he took Harry took backwards. “And what? I'm not a nice guy?” He stared at Harry from under his eyelashes, smirking as Harry's back collided with the tiled wall.

“Actually, you're kind of an arsehole.” Harry said breathlessly as he saw Louis stalk closer, finally stopping directly in front of him. 

“Aw.” Louis pouted. “That's not nice.” He bright his palm up and brought it to Harry's chest, slowly drawing circles near his heart. After about a minute of the two just standing so close to each other, Louis let out a small laugh, “I can feel your heart beating against my hand, you know.”

Harry blushed. It's true, his heart was beating rapidly, having Louis so close and touching him. “Yea.. well..”

Louis bit his lip and looked up to meet his eyes, “Harry, do you still love me?”

Harry looked into the crystal blue eyes, feeling his heart seize up at the tears he saw. Exhaling, he gave a small smile, “You know I still do, Louis.”

Louis let out a deep breath of relief and finally pressed himself against him, resting his forehead against Harry's shoulder, “Baby, then where did you go last night?”

Harry sighed and looked up at the ceiling, trying to remember the fights they've had but Louis was making it extremely difficult. “Alexa's...” He whispered.

He felt Louis nod against him and slowly turn his head to the side, kissing Harry's neck softly with just a small hint of tongue. Harry groaned at the feeling, feeling his cock twitch in his jeans when Louis sucked on his sensitive spot. Against his will, Harry moved his head to the side, giving him more room to roam his mouth.

“Baby, come back home.” Louis whispered, slowly peppering the kisses up to Harry's face and letting his hands roam down, stopping to where Harry's belt buckle sat.

“No,” Harry breathed, moving his face just in time for Louis to miss Harry's mouth. Not deterred, Louis moved unto Harry's ear, slowly nibbling at the flesh. The little minx stepped even closer to Harry's body, curling his arms around the taller one's neck for more leverage.

“Please, baby.” Louis whispered into his ear, pushing his thigh in between Harry's, feeling his growing bulge press against him. He pressed harder until Harry's hands gripped his waists, groaning into Louis neck. Harry took Louis hips and moved him a bit to the side, slotting their bulges right against each other. Louis held his breath at the sweet pleasure, grinding up against Harry.

Harry let their forehead's lean against the other, rocking Louis hips against his. Their breathing becoming more labored, “Louis...” He moaned when a carefully hard grind by Louis made his lust spike up another level. Louis took this opportunity, to learn forward, pressing their lips together.

Louis moaned into the kiss, plunging his tongue into Harry's soft, pliant mouth. Harry greedily took it all in, kissing back with equal fervor. He let one of his hands tangle in Louis hair, angling his head to the side for more of Louis' sinful mouth and kept one hand on his hip, continuing to push against Louis bulge.

Louis whimpered against Harry's lips, biting softly at them, “I want you, Harry. I need you.” he moaned continuously, trying to work on Harry's belt buckle. “Let me take you into my mouth. Right here.” Louis finally unbuttoned his jeans and was about to push them down when Harry's hands stopped him. 

“Wait, wait, Louis.” Harry pulled back out of breath, pupils blown out in lust. “Do you love me?”

Louis slammed their lips together, kissing him harshly, “Yes!” He kissed him again. “So much. Harry, you're my everything. I was a wreck without you. I couldn't think of anything else but try to get you back.”

Harry smiled softly, “I wasn’t any better.”

Louis smiled, nudging their noses together. “Don't ever think I don’t love you, sweetheart.”

Harry giggled fondly, and leaned down to kiss him tenderly. 

Louis eagerly returned the kiss, smiling into it. “Okay, now that I think of it, we should probably start heading back, we want to catch Modest before they leave.”

Harry pouted and locked his arms around the smaller lad, “No, we don't.”

Louis shook his head, “You have to go back out there and tell them you don’t want to go through with the releasing of the statement.”

Harry froze.

Pulling back, he stared at Louis in shock. “Sorry?”

Louis eyes widened, realizing Harry was getting ready to blow up again. “Baby – what happened?” He cupped Harry's cheek worriedly.

Harry shook him off. “So you did all of this, so I can take back the statement that's being released today?”

“No!” Louis shook his head desperately. This is definitely how things were not supposed to go! “Not at all, Harry! I came in here, to get you back! To touch you! Kiss you! I've just missed you so damn much!”

Harry scoffed, “So you get everything you want, but what do I get?”

Louis swallowed and sighed, “Okay, if coming out is really what-”

“YES, Louis, it is!” Harry stared in disbelief.

“Then go ahead!” Louis smiled up at him, “I'm not standing in your way.”

Suddenly all the reasons for breaking up yesterday came rushing back in. He shouldn’t have let Louis get too close, to the point where he can see the small freckles on his nose, smell his Vanilla scent, and see the different shades of blue his eyes eyes. He should've stayed away, knowing he could be pulled into the storm that is Louis. “And what about Eleanor? Are you breaking up with her?”

Louis suddenly stiffened, letting his smile slowly disappear.

That was all Harry needed as an answer. He finally stepped completely away from Louis, buttoning up his jeans while he was at it. “I thought so.” Harry scoffed, turning away from Louis and walking to the door.

“Seriously, Harry?! You're being incredibly unfair!”

“Am I, Louis?!” Harry stopped, turning to him.

“Yes, you are! You can't just ask me that and -”

“Why can't I?! I'm apparently you're boyfriend! If I told you that I didn’t want you holding hands with someone else, kissing someone else, spending a ridiculous amount of money and time on someone else – that’s being unfair of me?!” Harry shouted, his anger rolling off him in waves. Louis sure has some nerve!

Louis snapped his mouth shut, glaring at him. 

Harry just shook his head and started for the door again. “Fine, but I hope you don't expect the same courtesy from me anymore.”

“And what does that mean?!” Louis demanded.

Harry merely shrugged, unlocking the door.

“Harry Edward Styles!” Harry turned around to see Louis strutting up to him, “If I see you with Matthew James I swear to god -”

“You swear to god, what?!”

Louis merely glared at him haughtily, raising his chin up. “You know you were right. I'm not a nice guy.” He stepped closer to Harry. “Especially when someones trying to take you away from me.”

Harry's breath hitched in his throat and his eyebrows shot up. He didn’t get to say anything else, before Louis brushed past him and left the bathroom, leaving Harry confused and half turned on.

It took a minute for the shock to wear off and anger to settle in it's place. Seriously, what was up with Louis? He has never been this possessive before. Leaning against the wall for support, Harry pulled out his phone, intending to stay in the bathroom for a couple more minutes.

Babe <3  
Text Message (45) & Missed Calls (23) 

Harry's eyes widened at the huge numbers. “Holy shit...” He murmured and let his eyes wander to the other notifications.

Gemma <3   
iMessage (13) & Missed Calls (5)

Niall  
iMessage (6)

Zayn   
Text Message (12) 

Lottie   
Text Message (3)

Mommy :D  
iMessage (2) & Missed Calls (3)

Liam  
Text Message 

Richard Griffiths  
Voicemail (2)

Jeff :p  
iMessage (8)

Jane  
Missed Calls (4)

Nick  
iMessage 

Alexa  
iMessage 

(867) 649-9375   
iMessage (2)

Harry felt completely overwhelmed at the amount of missed calls and texts. Sighing, he let his eyes wander to the last unknown number. Swiping his hands on the number, he left the others for later, not wanting to deal with it until much later.  
\---  
(867) 649-9375 

Hey, it's Matthew.

How's your day so far?  
\---

Harry noticed the last number was sent just a few minutes ago. Touching the screen, he decided to text back.

Me:  
Awful. Just awful.

(867) 649-9375   
:( well I'm actually about to go into an interview and completely starved, want to go out for a bite to eat afterwards?

Harry bit his lip. 

Me:  
Yes, please :(

(867) 649-9375   
yay ;) any recommendations?

Me:  
Plenty, depends on what you want to eat?

(867) 649-9375   
Honestly, anything. I'm more excited to get to spend more time with you.

Harry smiled softly, not knowing how to respond to that.

Me:  
How about we meet at Il Due Marri at 4? 

(867) 649-9375   
I would go now if you told me to.

Harry laughed

Me:  
Don't want to get you in trouble!

(867) 649-9375   
Please, I won't. I'll say I'm not feeling well. Play hookie for the day. Its a whole cast interview – they won't miss me.

Me:  
lol Aren’t you the lead?!

(867) 649-9375   
Shhh!! 

Me:  
Well... to be honest I really feel like ditching this thing as well. All their going to do is ask me about you – thank you for that by the way!

(867) 649-9375   
:( sorry... I was being honest!

Me:  
No, don't be sorry I love that about you.

(867) 649-9375   
Woah, throwing in the L word already Mr. Styles lol

Me:  
You know what I mean! Goshhhh....

(867) 649-9375   
So you want to do this? I'm up for it 100%

Harry felt his excitement build up and couldnt help but smile. Usually he's never done this before, but he's seen others do it all the time. 

Quickly, he saved Matthews number and then texted Niall.

Me:  
Cover for me? Say I'm sick or something, I'm leaving.

Niall:  
Where r u going?

Niall:  
r u gonna eat ?! :( meanie...

Me:  
lol yea – with Matthew. Dont say anything k!

Harry waiting for Niall to send his thumbs up emoji and went back to Matthew. 

Me:  
Okay, meet you at the restaurant in 30 minutes? Do you know where it is?

Matthew:  
Yes! I asked my driver – he knows!

Harry sent a smiley face emoji and quickly sneaked out of the bathroom, making sure he looked presentable first. Scrambling down the hallways and down a flight of stairs, he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw his bodyguard Jack near the cafe of the building. Dodging the other people in the floor as quickly as possible he made his way towards the strong man.

“Hey, Jack!”

Jack turned around in surprise at Harry's voice, in the middle of a sip of his coffee. “Harry? You finally appeared! Drove everyone crazy, trying to contact you.” He sent the young pop star a disapproving look, “And you left me worried about you. How did you get here, by the way?”

Harry waved him off, “Long story, I'll tell you on the way. But right now, I need to go out so I’m giving you the choice of going with me or letting me go off on my own.”

Jake glared at him, “You're not going anywhere on your own anymore, Harry.”

Harry secretly felt relieved. “Good, then please get me out of here as quickly as you can.”

Jack nodded and pulled out his walkie-talkie, ordering a driver to pull out in the front with extra security. Harry wasn’t being discreet with his escape but hopefully, by the time somebody noticed this was indeed an escape, it'll be too late.

Sighing happily, Harry began walking to the front of the building, where he can see flashes going off as soon as they saw Harry approaching. The screams of the girls who have been there for hours erupted all around him when he walked out. As fast as he could, Harry tried taking as many pictures are he could with the fans, feeling bad for not being able to do so when he first arrived.

About a couple minutes later, though, Harry was being pushed into the awaiting black vehicle and driven away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!! Please comment and tell me what you thought? And if you want to follow me on twitter it's @Love22Larry :) I'm on it 24/7


	5. Crazy and Stupid All At Once

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So FOUR came out today!!! Who bought it already?! ( I DID!! ) It's amazing!! Loving the Larry-mess that occurred today as well. @Love22Larry is my twitter btw. I update very, very randomly. And I have the ending to this story written already. So you can say I’m actually working backwards with the story - or forwards and backwards until they both collide and then officially finish :p
> 
> Thank you for all the kind words :) 
> 
> Enjoy!

“The fact is, I'm gay, always have been, always will be, and I couldn't be any more happy, comfortable with myself and proud....” Louis trailed off, reading the article with Harry's statement off his phone. Turning to Zayn, he added, “He really came out. There's no way of backing out from this.”

Zayn took a gulp of his beer, his eyes flicking to Louis' phone and nodding. “Yupp... he did it.”

Louis and Zayn were currently at Louis and Harry's house, sitting in one of the backyard's bistro tables, trying to get drunk as fuck – well Louis was. He spent most of his day after the Sugarscape interview over at the X-Factor studios, instead of going over there tomorrow, helping younger artists get better and fuming over the fact that Harry ditched the band earlier. It was probably around midnight and Harry still wasn't home too. Louis looked at the clock one more time, “He's not coming back tonight, either, is he?”

Zayn sighed, racking his mind for something to say to comfort him. “Well... no,” he finished off bluntly.

Louis gritted his teeth, “Well how long does he think he can stay away before he needs to come back for clothes?”

Zayn rolled his eyes, honestly too tired to put up with Louis whining. “Honestly, mate? I'm sure Harry has enough money to buy himself a new outfit every day.”

Louis ignored him and continued glaring at the wall, “Gosh, sometimes I wish we had a baby. He wouldn’t dare leave if we had a baby. And it will completely guarantee me a part of his life, well for 18 years at least.”

“Great parenting that is Louis, using a baby as a bargaining chip.”

“It would be the best, not to mention cutest, bargaining chip though – Harry fucking loves babies.” Louis said, letting a small fond smile adorn his face. Harry with his baby, now that's a future Louis is sure as hell going to fight for.

Zayn shot Louis a bored look, “Well it doesn’t matter, pretty sure that would require you to be out of the closet in the first place.

Louis scowled at him, pulling his upper lip back. He took a deep gulp of Bourbon from his glass, enjoying the familiar burning feeling going down his throat. Frowning, he mentioned, “You know he was going to take me back today – Harry. We kissed and it,” Louis sighed, “It was fucking amazing.”

“Let me guess, you fucked it up.”

Louis glanced at him and nodded sadly, “Yea, but I honestly thought he was going to do what I wanted and not go through with releasing the statement on his own.”

Zayn gave him a clear 'Are-You-Stupid?' face.

Louis groaned, hiding his face with his hands. “Why am I such a fuck up Zayn?”

The other lad looked over at him, “Not a fuck up. You're a smart, talented guy, Tommo. Without you, we wouldn’t have half the songs we have right now. And their pretty damn good songs.”

Louis nodded sadly, refilling his glass with more strong liquor. “Thanks,” he muttered quietly. “And thank you for coming over to hear me rant – for like the hundredth time.”

Zayn hummed, “Yea, feels like it's the thousandths time,” he paused, “but I’ll gladly do it again.”

“Oh god, you went there.” Louis groaned, laughing at him.

Zayn pulled a face, “Yea I did, and you better damn appreciate it. It'll be the most sentimental thing you'll hear from me until you're wedding day.”

They shared a small smile. Louis didn’t know what he would do without Zayn – especially after losing Harry. Zayn was his partner in crime, his best friend and sometimes Louis feels like such a dick for taking him for granted sometimes. 

“How fucked up is management though? Acting all buddy-buddy with Harry, now that they gave him permission to come out. As if they didn't spend the last four fucking years pressuring him and keeping himself hidden.” Zayn glowered, “I hate fake ass people like that.” 

Louis nodded and sighed, knocking back his drink, “In addition to making me go on that trip with El soon. They really couldn’t have picked a worse time. They know what it'll-”

Zayn stared incredulously at him and held up a hand, silencing Louis, “Wait, you're still going to go out with her, Lou?! Seriously?! After all the grief she's causing to your relationship?!”

Louis shook his head, “Not like that! She's one of my best friends as well, we've gotten quiet close – it's hard not to over the years. She knows about my issues with Harry and gives great advice.”

Zayn let his jaw drop, “What advice has she been giving you? Don't go to Donny with her! You and her might be friends but Harry and Matthew definitely aren't!”

Louis froze and stared at him. “What did you say?”

Zayn exhaled deeply, running a hand through his hair. Goodness, Louis' relationship was causing him more stress in life than necessary.

“What do you mean by that Zayn?!”

Zayn continued, “Today, they went out to eat. That's why he ditched the interview – pictures of them leaving the restaurant were everywhere on Twitter. Apparently a mob of paps surrounded them at Il Due Mari.”

Louis throat felt tight. That was Harry's absolute favorite Italian restaurant. They never get to go there together though, always having to order take-out if they wanted to eat it together. “Is that it? I hardly call it being more than friends.”

Zayn hesitated, “Well, the paps followed them to Matthews hotel, Louis. Harry went inside with him, and according to the paps who surrounded the hotel, he has yet to emerge. And – that was hours ago, Louis.”

Louis' face crumbled, furrowing his eyebrows and shaking his head wildly, he muttered, “No... no, Harry wouldn't.”

Zayn shrugged, “Well I don't really know anything for sure. But what I do know, Louis, is that leaving with Eleanor, even still being with Eleanor, isn't going to help! Get your fucking priorities in order, Louis!”

Tears pooled in Louis eyes, light coming from inside the house making them shine, “But... Harry wouldn't.” 

Zayn sighed in frustration, pulling out his new phone – the one that replaced his Nokia. Zayn secretly misses the old phone, finding the apps on this one too much and unnecessary for him. When would he need a compass, really? Bypassing the useless apps, he opened up twitter and passed Louis his phone. “Search up Hatthew.”

Louis didn't want to. He really didn’t want to, but he's a masochistic son of a bitch so of course he does. After typing the words, with Louis cringing at it (“Honestly, Larry Stylinson is so much better, god bless.”) Soon though, Louis stared in shock as hundreds of twitter posts popped up. Two verified twitter accounts were listed in the results: Harry Styles. & Matthew K. James

“They follow each other now.” Zayn mentioned, as Louis continued to scroll through the results, and knowing how much their fans read into everything, that must be like a declaration of their soon to be wedding to them. 

He passed by the ridiculous amounts of posts by fans saying things like:  
“Aww they would be so cute together! Supporting Hazza and Matt all the way!”  
“Hatthew af”  
“They're so totally fucking. And if I can't have Harry, he might as well have someone equally as hot as him.”

They had photoshopped pictures and gifs of them, Louis swears he just saw a fanfiction link there somewhere, and – ahh... here's what Zayn was mentioning to him. Pictures of Matthew and Harry leaving the restaurant were posted up; Most of them were of Matthew protectively shielding Harry from the paparazzi, holding him against his side, an arm around his waist and another his hand, effectively putting Harry in front of him, and eventually into the awaiting car.

The ones where they arrived to The Ritz were even more excruciating to see – not only because it was Matthew's bloody hotel they were going into. Even though, Louis admits that's exactly what gets his blood turn cold. Each one showed a smiling (fucking gorgeous) Harry, with his hand in his hair at one point, and a grinning Matthew. The older man's hand was splayed across Harry's back, again keeping him in front of him at all times. In one picture, Matthew obviously drew Harry closer to his front, as more security had to be called around them to push the paps further back.

Blood now boiling, he returned to Zayn's time line – the same shit was being discussed. Fed up, he went to the trends. “Their fucking trending! What the fuck?!” Louis glared at Zayns phone.

Zayn raised his eyebrows at him, “I told you this thing is serious.”

Louis squared his shoulders and looked at him soberly, “So what do I do?”

Zayn slowly smirked, a menacing glint to his dark eyes. “What's one thing that every celebrity is scared off?”

Louis shrugged, not caring to play guessing games.

Zayn leaned over, “A scandal.”

Louis smiled and tilted his head, looking at his best friend questioningly.

Zayn took back his phone, opening up the Messaging icon. He smiled over at Louis, “Just leave it up to me, Tomlinson. Modest and the fans won't allow their precious front man to be seen with him after this.”

Louis shared an evil smirk with him. God, he knew there was a reason why Zayn was his best friend.

xxx

They were laying down on an insane amount of soft, pillows and cushions on the roof of The Ritz, staring up at the black sky. Every once in a while a plane would fly above them. It was incredibly secluded and dark, their only companions a bottle of a vintage Dom. Romane Conti wine and gourmet chocolates truffles.

Matthew and Harry have laid there for the past 2 hours, sipping the bottle almost empty until Harry felt weightless and completely giggly. They talked about everything; Harry's family and Matthews family. Matthew (“Oh my god, you're middle name is Killian? Seriously?!”) James was born in Manhattan, New York, and comes from Italian, Irish, and apparently Bulgarian descent. How one can be a quarter Bulgarian, Harry would never know. He spent most of his childhood in audition rooms, trying his best to land as many roles as he could as a kid – him being their family's only meal ticket, besides welfare. Harry had no idea what Section 8 was, but when he did learn, he felt immense pity for little Matthew. Having so much pressure to provide for your family at a young age was something Harry couldn’t relate to. He was always supported in his decision to pursue music but if he didn't want it, then that was that. 

Matthew waved him off and assured him he enjoyed acting, though. Now, he has multiple awards and millions of dollars, supporting his whole family effortlessly. They ventured into safer topics after that like music interests, favorite movies (apparently Harry has a lot to learn about real movies), clothes, and then the one topic Harry was dreading the most, ex-lovers.

Thus, began the long story of him and Louis.

“So let me guess this straight, you met at the x-factor, immediately fell in love at first sight-”

“Hey, don't laugh!” Harry giggles, turning to face him.

Matthew stifled his laughter and held up his hands, “Then, after about almost of year of dating, he had to get a girlfriend? Because you guys were getting really famous then and boy bands don't do well with gay members.”

“Yupp.” Harry said, popping his 'p's'.

Matthew faced him, “So what changed?”

Harry stared at him puzzled, “Hmm?”

“What changed your opinion now? Between choosing to hide and deciding to come out as gay to the public.”

Harry furrowed his eyebrows, “I guess... I guess it was just something everyone was telling me was for the best. People much more experienced in the industry and older. Louis seemed to really want to go through that route as well, so...”

“That was that?” Matthew smiled sadly.

“Yea..” Harry sighed, “Then when I finally snapped and stood up for myself, he decided that he wants to stay in the closet. So I decided to come out by myself. Unfortunately me and Louis, well we just weren't going to work that way.”

“Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.” Matthew said.

“Oh, you're so full of it. You're not sorry at all.” Harry said laughing into his wine glass.

Matthew laughed, “Well, no I'm not.”

Harry shook his head and smiled down, looking at the chocolate truffles, “So, where are you going to next on your promo tour?”

Matthew paused to think, “The day after the premiere here, we'll be going to Paris.”

Harry nodded happily, “Oh, I love Paris! Me – me and Louis used to go a lot over holidays.” His smile faltered, thinking of Louis again. They really did have wonderful times in Paris.

Matthew frowned, looking over at Harry. “Well, yes Paris is beautiful but have you been to Italy?”

Harry nodded, “Yes, a few times.”

“But have you actually went and spent time there? Visited the countryside? The vineyards?”

Harry smiled, “Sounds very picturesque, but no I haven’t actually.”

“I have a Villa there. Let me take you one day and I promise you won't regret it.”

“Hmm... I don’t know.” Harry laughed coyly, leaning super close to Matthews face. “Maybe with a little convincing.” Matthew visibly reacted to that and Harry really didn't know what he was saying now, just that he felt really light and free for the first time in years. He stared at Matt's face, finding little flaws in his pale, unblemished skin, azure eyes, and strong jawline. Harry stared into Matt's eyes, finding it hard to find his voice. “I-I...”

“Shh... Harry..” Matthew whispered back, closing the distance between them. The kiss was soft and sweet, softly pressing against one another. 

Harry leaned away, breaking the embrace and slowly sitting up. Closing his eyes, he breathed out, “Matthew... I can't.”

“Why not?” Matthew asked sitting up as well. Shaking his head he lifted up Harry's face towards his, locking their eyes once again.

Harry stared at him, agonized, “I literally broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. Yesterday, Matt.”

“Not to the rest of the world. To everyone else, you've been single for the past year.”

Harry shook his head, “Yea, but... that doesn’t change the fact that I just broke up with my boyfriend yesterday.”

Matthew pursed his lips, “You mean the guy who's had a girlfriend for the past 3 years?”

Harry looked away, not having an answer to that. Instead he took the glass of ridiculously expensive wine and took a huge swallow. Bringing his knees closer to his chest, he stared into the distance, hearing London's busy streets from down below. Eventually, with his cheek resting on his knees Harry turned and stared at Matthew. 

Matthew took the opportunity to speak and continued softly, “You deserve better. You deserve romantic evenings at your favorite restaurant and able to do something as simple as hold someones hand whenever the hell you want. Yell and scream at me in public if I ever do something to piss you off and hell, be prepared for thousands of cliché texts, skype calls and sickeningly cute twitter posts. You deserve to be called “My boyfriend”, because I sure as hell would be proud to call you that. I would shout it from this roof top if you told me to.” Matthew leaned closer to Harry, “Harry, give me a chance to make you happy as well. Fuck what everyone, especially Tomlinson, thinks.”

Harry bit his lip, “Matt, don't you think we're moving a bit too fast?”

Matthew laughed, “Harry, in our areas of profession, time is a priceless commodity. You're going away soon to America and I'm off to Paris. We won't see each other for two weeks at the least. Then more promo, then off to work again, and from what I hear you're doing another tour coming this February. I start filming in March. Trust me baby, when I say that I don’t think I can leave you after today without knowing if you're mine or not.”

Harry stared at him, mouth wide open, frozen. When he did remember how to breath, he stated quietly “You called me baby...”

Matthew laughed, “I'll call you anything you want, just let me call you mines...”

Harry continued staring at him. “I think – I think I want to be yours...” he whispered, still looking scared out of his mind.

Matthew breathed a sigh of relief and wasting no time, he surged forward, locking his lips with Harry's. This time, it wasn't soft or slow, but passionate and hot. Matthew putting all his promises and adoration into them and Harry taking them in gratefully. For the first time in a long time, he felt wanted. Not sexually, but actually wanted as a person. Here, out in the open rooftop, Harry kissed back, finding even the smallest things like the breeze against his cheek liberating and strange. A good, wonderful, strange.

Suddenly, Harry laughed, the impact of what he just agreed to hitting him. “Holy shit!”

Matthew joined him in his giggles, nuzzling his nose into Harry's neck. “Holy shit's right.”

Harry continued giggling, “You realized we just met today right? And now... now-”

“We're boyfriends.” Matthew finished for him, kissing him squarely in the mouth.

“Yea..” Harry whispered quietly, his laughter dying in his throat, not able to tear his gaze away from Matthews eyes. “Boyfriends....”

Holy. 

Shit.

What did Harry just get himself into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG! What do you guys think?! Yupp! Louis and Harry's life seriously changes in the space of a little more than a day - honestly didn't notice how fast everything was going but like Matthew said, "Times is a priceless commodity..." Honestly I don't know why that popped in my head, I am 90% sure I think I heard it in a movie. So credit to the person in the movie?/book?/show? lol
> 
> Don't worry, there will be a time skip next chapter - Gotta move things a long, don't I ! lol And let's hold a prayer circle for Matthew and whatever Louis and Zayn have in store for him. It's npt pretty.
> 
> Comment Please ?


	6. Hanging On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, keep an open mind to both Harry and Louis actions and don't pick sides just yet... Some new people and an old ones makes an appearance as well.This is going to start not going along with the present-day timeline.
> 
> WARNING: light cutting! and (sort of) domestic abuse.

Harry shifted forward and banged his head on the table multiple times before Gemma finally snapped at him, “Harry Edward, stop it right now!” She glared at the visible strands of curls that belonged to her younger brother, stuffing a fork of eggs into her mouth.

“Gem, what have I done?” Harry cried into his arms.

Gemma sipped her tea carefully, looking at her distraught brother. It's been about a week since Harry agreed to be Matthew's boyfriend and they've yet to tell anyone – well Harry hasn't told anyone excluding his family so far. He knows it's only a matter of time before the news spreads.

Harry and Gemma were currently sitting in a secluded booth of their hotel's five-star restaurant eating breakfast. She had immediately flew out to meet him here in Orlando yesterday when he sent out an 'SOS' in reply to her old text messages. After their performance and meet & greet in Universal, he immediately caught her up on everything that's happened. 

He's also been texting Matthew 24/7 since he last saw him; which was right before Harry had to leave to catch his flight to the states and Matthew had his London premiere to get to. But seeing Matthew in his black Armani suit made it extremely difficult for Harry to leave and Matthew indulged him in a few snogging sessions before they had his handler's banging on the hotel door. Matthew was fashionably late to his premiere and Harry had felt guilty in learning he was the reason they delayed the plane's take off.

Since then, he's been evading every 'Hatthew' question brought up in interviews, afraid of the reaction's, and sped through every mob of paparazzi shouting his name. The paps were at the most vicious he's ever seen them – not even when he was with Taylor did it get this bad. They've followed him everywhere he went and harassed him with questions whenever they saw an opportunity, but Harry didn't mind as much as people thought he did. He just stayed silent and plowed through them, most of the time holding on to Jack's back to lead the way, completely blinded by all the flashing lights. Matthew wasn't the sole reason to blame though – Harry's coming out was a media frenzy. Anne had called the other day saying paps were camping outside the property lines of the house. Now that is certainly something that Harry minded and he wasted not time in calling his lawyer to fix the problem. 

He knew he'll have to say something soon to confirm his relationship though, if only to at least decrease the rabid journalists hounding him for it. Plus, Matthew didn't deserve to be waved aside and dismissed. Harry knows exactly how that feels.

Avoiding the media has also been a good excuse to avoid Louis as well. He never gave Louis a chance to speak to him, always being the first off stage and to the hotel, and making sure never to be alone in the same room as the boys.

He felt Gemma's hand comb through his hair softly, knowing he absolutely loves it when people play with his hair. “Harry, don't be so hard on yourself.”

Harry lifted up his face from his arms and looked at her, “How can you say that? I seriously went out and got another boyfriend not even a couple days after me and Louis broke up!”

Gemma shrugged, “So? It happens, besides what Matthew said is right, nobody knows that.”

“But you know that, the boys know that, Louis...” Harry closed his eyes and groaned, leaning back on his chair.

Gemma smiled, “So? So what if you're a slut, Harry. It's no one's business what you do but your own.”

Harry stared at her for a second, open-mouthed.

“Yes, you're a slut. Embrace it.” Gemma laughed, shaking his shoulders.

Harry scowled, realizing she's playing around with him. “That's not funny, Gem.”

“It is though!” Gemma shook her head and continued to drown the pancakes on her plate with maple syrup, “What do you want me to say? Break up with him now before Louis finds out – because I know that's what you want to do, but even you know how fucked up that would be.”

Harry stabbed a link of sausage in defeat.

Gemma continued, “He's hot Harry, he treats you well, and sounds like he'll do you plenty good. Just ask yourself this – do you like him?”

Harry bit his lip and nodded, “I actually do – even after knowing him for such a short period of time. That doesn’t mean that I'm still not completely in love with Louis, though. He's not Louis and I realize that every time I see Louis now, and I'm not able to be with him.”

Gemma huffed and frowned, “It's not like you could be have been with him every time you saw him before.”

“Even so, knowing he was at least mine has always been comforting. Now I don't even have that.”

Gemma raised her eyebrow, “You felt comforted knowing that when nobody was around to see, you could touch your boyfriend – who has his own girlfriend? Look, I love Louis, as if he was another brother, just like I do Niall, Liam and Zayn, but I'll rather you be with Matthew. Even mum does.”

“She does?” Harry looked at her, his heart lightening up a bit. Knowing his mum approved of his decision actually made things a hundred times better. This way if it all goes down in flames, he'll be able to run back home and cuddle into her warm embrace. 

Gemma smiled and nodded, “Yea and, believe it or not, Robin is super excited to meet him. He's a big fan of his action movies.”

Harry laughed in delight at that.

Gemma's smile faded and she leaned across the table to grip his hand, “We just want you to be happy, Haz, and we haven't seen you happy in a while. Hell, maybe you were happy – but that was limited to the privacy of the bedroom. That's not right and it's no way to live.”

Harry opened his mouth to speak but the ring of a text message interrupted. Looking, down he saw Matthew's name pop up. Sighing, he turned to Gem, “I know it isn’t Gem – I just thought it was worth it at the time. Turns out Louis doesn’t respect me and our relationship as much as I thought he did.”

Gemma pursed her lips in pity, watching her brother unlock his phone to see Matthew's message. Harry smiled softly, showing her the text. 

Matthew:  
'Hey, I missed you, green eyes! Going into a Q&A, if I’m asked about you, may I call you my boyfriend?'

“Aw, he's asking for your permission.”

“Yea...” Harry smiled faded. “What do I say? Obviously I have to say of course, but then....”

Gemma took a deep breathe, and put a fork full of pancakes in her mouth, “You're still thinking about Louis.”

“Is that bad?”

“Does he deserve so much consideration?” Gemma said, chewing slowly.

Harry stayed quiet but then whispered, “He was my boyfriend for so long, though.”

Gemma wiped her mouth, a little fed up with Harry mentioning Louis. She looked away from him with raised her eyebrows and lifted up her orange juice, muttering under her breath, “Could've fooled me, otherwise.”

Harry looked down at his food, ignoring her jab. For the next few minutes the only sounds came from silverware scraping glass and the clinking of their cups against the table, as they ate the rest of their breakfast in peace.

Eventually, Gemma looked at the time and gasped, “Oh,” she wiped her mouth against the table cloth and stood up from the booth, “I should get going. Said I'll meet up with Lou to do some shopping soon.” 

“Need some money?” Harry asked her, looking up.

She smiled and shook her head no, leaning down and kissing his head, “Muah!”

Harry grinned and tried swatting her away. “Ew, gem!”

Laughing, she started walking away, “Love you!”

“Love you too...” Harry sighed for the hundredths time, watching her walk away. He absolutely loved his sister, even if what she says isn’t what he wants to hear. Unlocking his phone, and ignoring Matthew's text message, he opened up his bank app. Even if she said no, Harry transferred over a few thousand to finance her shopping trip here. He likes caring for her and his mother – they were the two most important people in his life. His two girls.

He hopes that she never gets hurt by some douche-bag again and will always stay single, seeing as her track record with men has always been dreadful. Call him protective but Harry can't imagine her with anyone. He likes seeing her happy and independent – both things that Harry isn't. Harry never wants her to settle for less and because there is nobody perfect, Harry would rather his big sister stay single.

Finishing the transfer and nodding at his thoughts, he grabbed a slice a bacon and ate it as he made his way towards the hotels lobby. The bill would get added on to his tab.

As soon as he reached the grand, marble-filled entrance hall, he stopped dead in his tracks. Standing in front of the reception counter, she was talking to an employee angrily, a hand on a huge suitcase and another holding her Chanel bag.

No – she was the last person he wanted to see. Angry and frustrated, Harry quickly made his way to the elevator, prepared to lock himself in his room for the rest of the day – maybe ask room service for a couple pints of ice cream and rent The Notebook. He needed to cry at someone else's problems for a change.

First, he had a text message to answer.

'Of course XOXO'

XXX

“Ugh, Why is Zayn taking so long?”

Louis shrugged, staring over the ledge of the first landing on the level below. People were walking in and out of the building, many with Universal merch on and huge cameras hanging off their necks. If he listened carefully, he'll be able to hear the screams of dozens of girls outside the hotel.

Louis was dreading having to go through the mob of fans. As much as he loved them, he wasn't really fond of strangers touching him. Even worse than the mob of screaming girls were the crazy paparazzi outside, most likely ready for any one of them to come outside. They all ask the same questions nowadays.

“How do you feel about Harry coming out?”

“Is Hatthew real?”

“Are you kicking Harry out of the band?”

The last one was just ridiculous. Harry was made to be in this band, just like he was meant to be with Louis. He had half a mind to go out there and just yell at them to mind their own business – That Harry isn’t the only gay one in the band, Hatthew is as fake as Elounor, and hell no Harry wasn't going anywhere. Yet, that might cause a lot more problems for everyone.

Niall groaned again and went to stand by Louis, “It's been 15 minutes already. What if he went back to sleep?”

Louis laughed and turned to look at the blonde, “Actually, that sounds like something Zayn would do.”

Niall looked at him horrified, “What? Then let's just go, he can meet us there when he wakes up.”

Louis ignored him. If he payed the blonde any attention, he might accidentally wring his neck. The past two days the blonde has been saying icy comments at Louis, and has sometimes ignored him in favor of Harry. It's obvious Niall chose a side, Louis just wishes he wouldn’t make it so fucking obvious. He doesn’t even know why Niall decided to come with him and Zayn out to lunch – then again, it was lunch and Niall hates the food in the hotel. 

Staring at the ground floor below, Louis mumbled out stiffly, “We'll wait 5 more minutes and then I'll go looking for him. He could just still be getting ready.” Liam, unfortunately, was off with his parents and Harry with his sister; as if, Harry would even consider to go out with them if Louis was there as well. At the thought of Harry, Louis frowned and turned back to look off the ledge. Time seemed to freeze and for a second, Louis just stared dumbly at her back.

“Why is Eleanor here?” Louis said out loud, completely baffled.

Niall got up from his seat and walked over to the ledge, trying to see who he was referring to. Once he saw her, he turned to Louis accusingly, “Did you text her anything to hint you wanted her here?” 

Louis shook his head, “No! I haven’t even spoken to her in weeks!” This was bad. If Harry saw her here.... “I have to go find Harry!”

Niall nodded approvingly, “Yea! You do! Get to him, before he sees her!”

Louis immediately made a run for it, almost running into the maid's cart. He eyed the open elevator down the hall and cursed when a couple and their two kids got in. “Hey! Hold that open!” he yelled, making his legs go faster.

They didn't appear to hear him, except the small little boy who started yanking on his fathers trousers. “Hey, hold the elevator!” He continued yelling, watching in horror as the elevator began to close.   
“Fuck!” He cursed, slowing down as he saw the metal doors close softly. Impatient, he looked around him, hoping to find another elevator. He couldn’t stand and wait for this one to come back.

Looking to his left, he spotted a door that led to the stairways. Cringing, he opened the doors and began running up the stairs. He tried not thinking about the fact that Harry's suite was in the last floor, the 10th floor.

He ran as fast as his legs could carry him, ignoring the burning feeling on his calves and wishing he had longer legs like Harry's. At the thought of Harry's long legs, Louis remembers the feel of them quite longingly. They way they wrapped themselves around Louis when he was pounding into him...

The moment was broken when his phone started ringing loudly, the empty concrete walls of the stairway amplifying the sound in his ears. Looking at the caller's name flash, he groaned and picked up quickly, “Stan, I can't talk right now.” Louis said breathlessly, taking the stairs two at a time. “I'll call you-”

“Why is Matthew James saying he and Harry are going out?”

Louis stopped short and, finally, with a hand on the door leading to Harry's floor, he finally gave Stan his full attention. He hadn't told him what happened between Harry and him. Actually, he didn’t' tell anyone. Everyone who knows got the news from Harry, or by someone who got the news from Harry. Heaving, Louis shook his head, “What – what did you say?”

“I'm watching the telly and Matthew James just told everyone that Harry's his boyfriend in an interview. Mate, tell Harry to set that guy straight. He's your boyfriend, so it's pretty....”

Louis didn’t hear the rest of what he was saying, taking his phone off his ear and abruptly hanging up. Slowly, he opened the door and made his way down the carpeted hall. Each step to Harry's suite making him shake from adrenaline-fueled anger and nerves.

He walked blankly to Harry's door, ignoring the calls he was getting from behind him. He can vaguely hear Zayn's voice shouting for him from somewhere far but he continued on. When he arrived at the double doors to Harry's suite, he banged on it, not caring about disrupting the neighbors. 

Finally, the door opened to a tearful Harry, wrapped in a plush blanket.

“What do u want?” Harry asked, his voice scratchy and eyebrows scrunched. He was confused. How cute.

Louis pointed at his chest, “Are you...” Louis cut himself off too angry to continue his sentence. He breathed in and out a couple times before trying again, “Are you and Matthew a couple?”

Realization crossed Harry's face and he glared at Louis. “What does it matter?”

“TELL ME?” Louis roared stepping closer, pushing Harry roughly inside the room further. Louis followed him inside and closed the door behind him. “TELL ME IF IT'S TRUE! IS THAT ARSEHOLE YOUR BOYFRIEND?”

Harry was now furious. He straightened himself up and met Louis face to face, glaring unflinchingly into Louis blue eyes. “Yes,” Harry hissed in his face, “He is.” 

Louis eyes widened and they stared at each other, both panting hard at the amount of anger in the room. It sparked and zizzled between them, causing a set of desire up their spine. There was knocking and yelling outside the door, but they both ignored it.

“Fuck you.” Louis finally spit out. “You sure don't waste any time do you?”

Harry inhaled sharply at the insult, “As opposed to you? I saw your girlfriend downstairs, tell me has she settled herself into your bed already?”

Louis doesn’t know who starts the fight, just that one second they were glaring at each other and the next, both were crying and punching each other, trying to hurt one another. Trying to inflict a physical pain to match each other's emotional pain. Louis pushed Harry on top of a wooden coffee table, successfully breaking under Harry's weight. He threw a fast punch to Harry's face, ignoring the sting on his knuckles and was rewarded with one in return. Harry growled and pushed Louis back until he was slammed into the wall. The picture frames hanging off the wall crashing to the floor. 

Louis flinched and cried out, turning around swiftly and jamming his elbow on to Harry's stomach. The taller boy grunted and grabbed Louis' arms as tightly as he could, lifting him up. Louis kicked the air angrily and dug his nails into Harry's arms. Harry immediately let go, following Louis to the floor and holding him down on the carpet. “Stop! Louis stop!” Louis ignored him and continued thrashing, feeling the glass shards of the picture frames dig into his back. The knocking and yelling behind the door started getting more desperate and louder. 

Louis looked up and met the pained green eyes of Harry, seeing his agony reflected back. He reached up and pulled Harry's blood-stained lips into a tight kiss. Harry closed his eyes and groaned, setting his tense body on top of Louis. Louis tilted his head and roughly plunged his tongue inside, kissing Harry's mouth despairingly.

Harry completely lost himself in to the kiss, burying his bruised and bleeding hand into Louis' soft, feathered hair. Regrettably, he didn't notice Louis move his legs until he had a knee kicked into his crotch. 

Harry's eyes flew open, tearing up at the pain. Before he let go of Louis lips, he bit into the plump bottom one harshly, breaking Louis skin and mixing their blood together. Louis doesn’t know if he finds it erotic or disgusting. 

Wasting no time in Harry's vulnerability, Louis shoves the taller boy off of him. Climbing on top of Harry, who was now holding his crotch protectively and groaning at the pain, he threw a hard, good punch. He was about to throw another fist, but was lifted up from Harry's body.

“Let go of me!” Louis cried, looking behind him to find Zayn's face as he was dragged across the room, not even wondering how he got into the room.

Harry rushed to his feet and made a beeline at him. Louis tensed, in a sick way excited for Harry to come at him some more so that he'll be able to retaliate and continue this. Luckily, or unluckily, Liam intercepted Harry halfway, throwing the youngest one on to the floor with his body.

“Harry, Harry calm down!” Liam yelled, tightening his hold on him as he continued fighting. “You don't want to do this!”

“He started... it” Harry chocked out from Liam's hold. He continued to fight off Liam's tight hold, “I hate him! I hate him!” Harry cried, tears staining his face.

“Let go of me, Zayn...” Louis whispered, feeling tears start falling down his cheeks and sobs making their way up his throat.

Zayn ignored him, instead tightening his grip. Louis slams his foot into Zayn's ankle, causing the tanned boy to cry out in pain. 

“Zayn, let go! Let go! I'm leaving!” Louis continued to struggle to get himself free, but was wrestled to the floor by Zayn.

“LET GO OF ME!” Louis finally yells from the floor, his body trapped within Zayn's arms. He finally gets himself free, Zayn still hovering close in case he decides to lunge himself to Harry again.

Liam began to yell from across the room, but Louis became deaf to everything around him. He dodged a worried Niall, who just came running in with his hands in his hair, panting, “What the fuck...” 

Louis just kept on limping out, keeping a blank face, the only thing he can feel was the distinct sting of his open cut on his lip and the rushing of blood in his ears. He knew his side will have a huge bruise in the morning, as well. 

Louis made it out of the room and sped his way down the hall. He heard footsteps behind him trying to keep up with his rapid pace, but he just walked faster. It wasn't until he was a good couple turns away from the room that he finally let his legs collapse. Instead of hitting the floor, he fell into Zayn's arms crying hysterically. 

Through tears, Louis shook his head at Zayn, “I lost him, Zayn. Harry...” Louis doesn’t finish, his throat tightening against the onslaught of more sobs. Zayn just instantly pushes his face into his neck, hugging him tightly, both curled on the floor.

Discretely, without disturbing his broken best friend, Zayn takes out his phone to send out a simple text to an unsaved number. 'Do it.'

Back in Harry's room, Harry was finally released from Liam's hold. He stumbled farther away from him, tears falling quickly. He pointed at Liam and Niall and opened his mouth to say some thing, but chocked out a sob instead.

“Oh, Harry...” Niall made a move to go hug Harry but the younger lad just just lifted up his hand sharply, effectively stopping the words coming out of Niall's mouth.

Harry inhaled shakily and pointed to the door. “Out.” He whimpered. After a few seconds of them not making a move to leave, Harry raised his voice, glaring at them hostilely. “Get out!”

Liam nodded and dragged Niall slowly out of the room. Niall held eye-contact with Harry until the closing door slammed in his face. “Liam... what do we do? How did that even happen?”

Liam glared at him, “What do you mean? We can't do anything. They need to figure this out for themselves. Did you see that in there? That was crazy! If I hadn’t seen Zayn run up here yelling about Louis confronting Harry then who knows how that could have ended since I'm the only one with the master key. All of you dolts lose your keys! Apparently Zayn's sister called him about Matthew confirming his relationship with Harry and knew Louis would be headed up here.”

Niall bit his lip and kept looking at the door, hoping Harry will open it back up and let him comfort him. He couldn't help but get angry at Louis. “Louis is completely out of line though. He has no right to get angry at Harry for moving on.”

Liam sighed and steered the blonde down the corridor back to their respective rooms. “Yea but you can also argue Harry should have waited to move on a bit.”

Niall scowled, “Seriously, taking Louis side?”

Liam shook his head, “Not at all. I personally don't agree with either side. And I refuse to even pick a side, just as you should as well. Their both our best friends, Ni.”

Niall turned away angrily, “Yea, easy for you to say. You weren't the one Harry went to crying at night when Louis was out with Eleanor. You didn't witness Harry battle his insecurities and bring himself down because he thought he wasn’t enough. You just don't know how big of a step Harry took for himself breaking up with Louis.”

Liam stopped and stared at him pointedly, “And that is what makes your opinion on the matter completely biased, because I bet, if I talked to Zayn, he would be saying the exact same thing but about Louis.”

“Ugh, don't even talk about Zayn.” Niall glowered at him, “But if you're lecturing me about picking sides, why don't you yell at him too!”

“I'm not yelling at anyone!”

Niall rolled his eyes and continued walking, turning towards his door. “Yea, okay.”

Liam stared at him walking away, a feeling of dread filling his stomach. When he first heard the news of the break-up, he prayed it wouldn't effect the band. He now knows it was just wishful thinking. All he could hope for is that Harry and Louis find their way back to each other, with as little battle scars as possible. Hopefully, by the time they do, there will still be a band and a group of friends to come back to. 

Pulling out his phone, he texted Gemma, telling her to get her arse back to the hotel, come pick up the master key from his room, and go to Harry.

She replied instantly:  
'On my way. What the fuck did Louis do?”

'Just get here, quickly, and maybe bring some Advil.'

XXX

Gemma came flying out of the elevator as soon as it opened up to Harry's floor, bags on her hands hitting the other passengers but she didn’t give two shits at the moment. She was just coming from talking to Liam and getting the key from him. 

It wasn't until she was in front of his door that she hesitated. Lifting up her first, she knocked, deciding to give him a chance to open the door on his own. Knocking again after nothing happened, she called out, “Harry? It's me.. Gemma...” She sighed and stayed quiet for another minute, resting her forehead against the door, hearing nothing come from the other side.

Maybe he left? That doesn't sound right, seeing as how Liam described Harry as a guy who “completely lost it. Him and Louis... both crazy fuckers had a go at each other. Harry was a mess when we all left.”

Biting her lip nervously, she rearranged the bags on her wrists, and took out they key card. She made a stop at a nearby CVS and got a couple of items, along with the bags from her small shopping trip weighing her down. 

Opening the door, she scrunched her eyes tighter, closing the door behind her. It was pitch black inside. Groping the wall next to her, she found the light switched and turned them on, gasping at the mess. There was a broken wooden table, glass everywhere, all the pictured on the wall were thrown on the floor, and distinct dent on the wall. She was glad it wasn't her that was gonna talk to the hotel about this mess. Flicking her eyes around the room, she tried looking for a mess of curly hair but not finding it anywhere. “Harry?”

She walked across the room and made her way into the bedroom, finding it pitch black in there as well. Sighing, she turned on the lights and called again, “Harry? Harry, are you here?”

Maybe he did leave? Gemma turned back around, phone out of her pocket again and ready to call him when she heard a whimper. Turning to the door across the bedroom, she made her way to it. “Harry?”

Another cry and a small voice, “Gem?”

She tried opening the door, but found it locked. “Harry, please open the door.”

She waited a bit and tried opening it again. Still locked. “Harry please open the door.”

Silence.

Desperate and afraid, she finally banged on the door, “Harry! Open up... please?!” she continued knocking, sinking on to the floor.

After about ten minutes of Gemma knocking and pleading for him to open up, she finally heard movement and the door knob wiggle a bit. The lock clicked open, and Gemma quickly turned the knob, opening the door. 

The sight that she saw will haunt her for years. His face was swollen, bruised up and blood was matted against his lip. But that wasn’t what Gemma was horrified at. Harry was sitting up on the wall, gazing at her blankly, an arm filled with horizontal cuts along his wrist. 

“Harry!” Gemma cried, crawling next to him. “Harry, no!” She took his arm softly and placed it on her lap. Some of the cuts were clotting already, indicating they were a good maybe half-hour, old, while some looked fresh, bleeding red. Yanking a clean white cloth from the counter, she wrapped it around his wrist shakily. They weren't bleeding profusely, Harry not cutting deep enough to hit a vein, but Gemma had no idea what else to do. She cried silently and looked around, finding the small razor a couple inches from Harry's fingers. Picking it up, she threw it in the garbage. 

Gemma tried taking a deep breath, trying to settle on one emotion but finding it so hard. She was furious, worried, scared out of her mind....

She needed to get him out. Fast.

She doesn’t give a fuck if they have another performance tonight or not, all she was thinking of was protecting her little brother. Hugging him to her, she pulled out her phone frantically and called Jack. He was Harry's bodyguard, meant to protect him. Why wasn't he here already?! Gemma pushed that thought to the back of her mind, knowing Jack cared dearly for Harry and wasn't on duty at the moment.

As soon as she heard the line connect to his, she breathed out, “Jack! It's Gemma. Contact Jane, Harry's assistant, and … and book us a flight. For me and Harry.”

“Oh, okay, but don't One Direction have an event to do tonight?”

Gemma yelled, “I don't give a fuck! Come up to Harry's room after booking us the flight and help me!”

“Ok, but where to?”

“Umm, I don’t know, L.A.? We just have to get him out of here...” Gemma whimpered, crying. “...I don't know what else to do.”

Jack sensed the desperation from the other side of the line and tried to appease her, “Ok, Ok Miss Styles, I'm right on it. Is... is Harry ok?”

Gemma looked down at Harry, finding him still staring blankly at the wall. “No.. no he's not.” She chocked out, hanging up. Shifting Harry's weight, she leaned him against the wall. “Stay here, Harry... I'll be right back.” She turned to go back into the room intending on packing his suitcase, but a strong grip on her arm stopped her. 

“Gem, don't go...” Harry whispered, looking at her brokenly.

Gemma collapsed into tears, holding him against her. “I'll never leave you, Harry. Never.”

“Don't leave...Don't leave me...” Harry chocked out into her shoulder. “He left me... he.. he hit me..”

Gemma squeezed him even harder, crying with him.

Jack found them in that same position, when he came crashing into the room minutes later. He took in the sitting room and Harry's arm, and began packing for Harry silently. He sent Jane a text saying to gather Gemma's belongings as well. Jack and Jane are different from the rest of the employees that are always surrounding the One Direction boys. They don't work for Modest or Syco. Jack and Jane work for Harry, caring and maintaining the needs of only Harry. 

Jack is contracted from Dalson's Protective Service Agency – a very renowned company known for their ex-military, like Jack himself. It's a job that he actually loves to do. He doesn’t have kids or a family, his only kid to protect being Harry. And he loves that kid very much. It's why when Andrew, who happens to also come from Dalson's and just happens to be in charge of Matthew James' protection, came to him, explaining that if anything happens to Harry, or he needs somewhere to run away, take him straight to New York City – per Matthew's orders. Jack was handed an envelope with Matthew's home address and the key to it.

He dragged Harry's suitcase into the sitting room, setting it by the door and waiting for Jane to get here.

“We're so going to get fired for this.” Jane whispered angrily, as she walked into the hotel room minutes later with Gemma's suitcase in hand. She glanced around the room, “Holy crap, what happened here?!”

“Yea, we might get fired, but we both know that everyone knows where to find Harry if we take him to L.A. He'll be found and dragged back here before he has time to recover.”

Jane did a double-take, “Recover from what, Jack?”

“From Louis.”

They both turned turned towards the feminine voice, to see Gemma, standing there with her arms folded. She stared at Jack solemnly and asked, “Now, where are you taking us if you're not taking us to L.A.?”

Jack swallowed, “New York.”

“Can you promise he won't be found?”

Jack nodded. 

Gemma sighed in relief, “Okay, then that's good enough... let's just go quickly. I'm going to get Harry...” She turned back around.

“Wait, Miss Styles, you should know... you should know who's place we're going to first.”

Gemma looked bemused. “We're going to stay in someone's place? Who?”

Jack held his breath, not knowing how she'll react. “Matthew James.”

“Well...” Gemma blinked a couple times in shock, before finally she began to slowly smile. “Good.”

All three of them walked back into the bedroom, covering a broken Harry Styles with a warm coat and began to lead him out of the door, huddled between Jane and Gemma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews?? Hope you liked this chapter...


	7. Safe & Sound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turns out, If I say, don't pick a side - people will pick sides! lol Loved all the comments regardless, so thank you all so so much! For those who are on Team Matthew, expect a whole lot of him this chapter, and for all my Larries, be patient and don't hate me!
> 
> WARNING - THANKSGIVING FLUFF!! Part 1 :D

ONE DIRECTION STAR HOSPITALIZED?!  
Last Friday, One Direction member Harry Styles was reported to be hospitalized at Johnson's Hospital in Orlando, Florida. Styles' representatives say he will be making a speedy recovery and.....

HARRY STYLES BATTLING A DRUG ADDICTION?!  
Sources say the British heartthrob has been fighting a losing battle with cocaine! Few days ago when the press released the statement about Styles hospitalization, rumors have been flying about that it's actually a REHABILITAZATION! No one has seen Harry in days and the hospital he's supposedly checked into have stayed silent on...

A LARRY STYLINSON FEUD?  
Since his disappearance a few days ago, many guests from the hotel 1D stayed in, have reported loud yelling and noises coming from the boys hotel floor the day Harry Styles was last seen. Yesterday, Louis Tomlinson steps out, for the first time, with a bruised face and a busted lip! Known for having a number of conspiracy theories about a romance between the two, could Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles actually have nothing but hate? And is Tomlinson the reason Styles left?

Gemma sighed and threw the magazines on the counter straight in the rubbish bin next to fridge. “Is that what their writing? A drug addiction? What a load of crap!” She glared at the bin where the offending articles were thrown. “They don't care about him at all... anything to sell a fucking story.. Can't believe anyone will.. Ugh!”

Jeff climbed off of his stool and placed his hands on her shoulder, “Hey, hey calm down, Gem. Getting mad won't do anything but stress you out even more. We all know the truth and that’s the most important.”

Gemma was still angry, scowling at the floor, “Yea, that he's hiding away in New York, not battling a stupid drug addiction or hospitalized in a hospital! How did Modest even make the hospital go along with that lie?! Aren’t doctors not allowed to lie about that stuff or something?”

Jeff smiled sheepishly, “Actually, not Modest. My father made a few phone calls. Best believe Harry is sick and in a hospital than the truth. This way he'll be able to take all the time he needs and the public won't find out about... you know, the self harm.”

Gemma sighed, “Well... tell your father we all thank him... Harry.. Harry still hasn't...” Gemma's face scrunched up, fighting the tears that welled up again.

“Oh Gem...” Jeff brought her into a hug, laying his cheek on her blonde hair. Sighing, he asked, “Still hasn’t gotten out of bed?”

Gemma gave a watery, “No...” Pulling back, she looked at Jeff hopelessly, “He hasn't talked, or been eaten well... I'm really out of my depth here. And mum's boss said she cannot leave until next week at all! Mum's about to quit her job! And... and... I just...”

Jeff pulled her back into his shoulder, “Shhh.... it'll be fine. Does Matthew know what happened?”

“No,” Gemma whispered, “No one but you and me... Mum still thinks he's just moping about the break-up. I'm waiting to tell her as soon she gets here.”

Jeff sighed, “Okay, well we need to do something. Do you have his phone?”

Gemma pulled out his phone from her pocket, “I have it with me. Don't want him to look at anything online...”

He nodded, “Good idea...” He took the phone from her and entered its password quickly. Harry has always had the same password for as long as he's known him – 1224. Unlocking the phone, he opened up the twitter app and started composing a new tweet.

“What are you doing?” Gemma sniffed, looking down at the phone. She has yet to pull away from him, relaxing further into his arms while he tweeted.

Harry Styles. @Harry_Styles:  
Thank you so much for all the support and love you've shown me, you beautiful people! Still trying to get better :( but I'll be back! Promise x.

Gemma bit her lip, “Should we say something about the rumors?”

Jeff shook his head, “No, Harry never dismisses rumors. We do that and the fans will know it's not him.”

Gemma nodded, “They're smart people.”

Just minutes later, trends like #GetWellHarry, #WeMissYouHarry, and #No1DWithoutHarry were up and trending for days at a time – worldwide.

So were things like - #SmileLouis and #HarryStillLovesLouis.

[2 Days Later]

“Hey, Harry... I brought you some food...” Gemma said, staring at the immobile figure of her brother underneath the covers. He just ignored her and the plate of food she placed on the bedside table. Pulling his phone from her pocket, she placed that on the bed as well. “Also, your phone's here.”

Harry just stared out of the window, his back still facing her. He closed his eyes once he heard the door close behind her.

[5 Days Later]

Matthew K. James @MatthewJames:  
So I heard the @onedirection album is now at #1! If you have not gotten it, what are you waiting for?! I got myself one... or maybe a few...

With the tweet was a link to Matt's instagram; a picture was posted up of a grinning Matthew holding up about 4 copies of One Direction's album FOUR. 

Harry lazily retweeted the tweet, locking his phone and burying his face back to his pillows.

[1 Week Later]

“Harry... baby, it's mummy.” Anne whispered, sliding next to the silent figure on the bed. “Mummy's here baby.”

Harry turned around as soon as his mum wrapped her arms around him, burying his face into her stomach. She hugged him closely and pressed kisses to his head, muttering beautiful words and singing soft lullaby’s. Anne wasn't much of a singer, but nevertheless, Harry loved hearing it. 

He continued crying, bulging her shirt into tight fists, and shaking against Anne's soothing hands. She cried along with him, his heart-broken sobs piercing through her heart as well.

[2 weeks Later]

Harry groped around the bed blindly, not taking his eyes off the huge plasma on the wall, trying to find more of those chocolate truffles Matthew sent him but finding only a lot of wrappers. He hummed victoriously when he found another one of those sweet round chocolates, unwrapping it immediately. He was watching one of Matthew's movies on Netflix – a romantic one actually. Embarrassingly enough, Harry got really into it, now almost in tears because Matthew, or Kyle the character he's playing, just got into a major car accident, his life hanging on the brink of death.

“No, Kyle! Stay with me!” The woman on the screen cried, staring at Matthew, wait no “Kyle”, as he was lifted off the ground by the paramedics. “Kyle! No...no! Let me go with him!” She jumped on to the ambulance, intending to go with them.

Harry's phone vibrated, an incoming message from Matthew popping up. Pausing the movie, he unlocked his phone excitedly.

Matthew:  
Skype?? 

Harry:  
YES! :(

Harry turned to the side and picked up his Mac from the bedside table, setting it on his lap. Opening it up, he logged on to his Skype and saw the green check mark next to Matthews name. Grinning, he clicked on the video-camera icon next to his name.

While it was ringing, Harry fixed his long hair and turned on the lamp next to him, realizing it was too dark in the room to see anything on the camera. Matthew picked up only after a couple rings, his grinning face showing up on the screen.

“Hey!”

Harry smiled back, “Hey back! How's China?”

“Really good! And different! I swear every time I come here, it shocks me to find out our Chinese food back home is way, way different than over here. You'd think I learn by now.”

Harry laughed. “I actually had that for dinner tonight! Me and mum outvoted Gemma on choosing dinner today. Gem wanted Indian.”

Matthew grinned, “Nice. I'm so relieved to hear your mom went to New York. Don't want you by yourself with just Gemma. It's good to be with family.”

“Yea...” Harry smiled softly, “It was the earliest she could get off of work she said. Robin couldn't make it though, he wasn’t so lucky. Which is fine, I still find it a bit much my mother came. I'm sorry again by the way... we just came and took over your house.” 

Matthew shook his head, “No, don't even think that. Like I said, you are all welcomed to stay for as long as you want – hey, were you crying?” Matthew leaned closer to his computer screen, inspecting Harry's face closely.

Harry leaned farther back and laughed, “Oh, that's actually all your fault.”

Matthew flinched back, “What? I'm so sorry if I ever did anything to hurt you Harry. Trust me when I say I had no idea I hurt you! I would never -”

Harry shook his head and cut him off, “No! It's because your such a good actor! I'm seeing Days Gone By and it's so sad! I'm a little jealous of you kissing other girls though.” Harry pouted.

Matthew stared at him fondly, “Trust me, you'll never have to worry about that. I'm 100% gay and 100% taken – by you.”

Harry's smile faded. That sounded... perfect. Absolutely perfect and exactly what he wanted Louis to say at some point. Louis... 

Harry swallowed and forced himself to think about something else. “So, how long is your promo going to last?”

“Just another week before I go and finish off with the premiere in New York. Going home tomorrow for the holidays, though, so I’ll be seeing your lovely face soon enough don't worry.” Matthew frowned, “Actually, some of my family might beat me there but don't worry, they won't bother you. Usually, my mother gets there super early to start cooking, but she stays mostly in the kitchen preparing the dinner.”

Harry furrowed his eyebrows, “Tomorrow? But I thought that's not until next month?”

“Um, Thanksgiving's tomorrow?”

Harry gaped wide-eyed at Matthew. “Thanksgiving?! I've never celebrated that! Matthew I'm from the U.K! I thought you meant Christmas!”

Matthew flinched, “It's just like a dinner, you have nothing to worry about. It's not really something huge.”

“Your whole family is coming!” Harry hissed frantically.

Matthew cringed, “Yea, I know, but I promise most of them will be gone after dinner. I'll be next to you the whole time, too.”

Harry groaned, sinking his face into his hands. “Already meeting the family? Now I know we're moving too quickly.”

Matthew looked down and closed his eyes sadly, “I know. I'm sorry.”

Harry looked at him though the cracks in fingers, and sighed, “No, don't be.” He brought down his hands and offered up a small smile, “I'm the one in your house and intruding. It's not like I can tell you not to celebrate it here. I'm not that rude!”

Matthew shook his head, “Your not rude at all! Nor intruding, but I could've given you better warning. I'm so sorry again.”

Harry shrugged, “It's fine, technically you did tell me.”

“And how are you enjoying the house, by the way? I always forget to ask.”

“It's so beautiful!” Harry looked around the spacious room, very luxurious and indulgent. Very different from the simple comforts of his own house, though. “And the view outside the window -” Harry sighed happily, looking out to all the lights outside his window. He can make out dozens of skyscrapers out of his building, each one twinkling brightly in the dark sky. It definitely made up for the zero amount of stars that were visible.

Mathew nodded and they stared at each other a while longer. It's been two weeks since the fiasco in Orlando, and Harry can honestly say he's feeling a lot better. Gemma and him made themselves comfortable in Matthew's top-floor penthouse and just watched movies the whole time. Well not the whole time – actually no, yes the whole time. Harry has not left the building since he first got here, sending Gemma out for anything, or Gloria. Gloria was the lady in charge of keeping the house together while Matthew was away. She was a sassy, small hispanic lady that never allows Harry or Gemma to lift a finger.

Unfortunately, while he may be feeling a lot better, neither his mom nor Gemma are convinced. Each one give him a strange, worried look when he smiles at them. He doesn’t understand why. Do they want him to mope around forever? Sure it may have been sudden... but he has Matthew. So he's going to focus on Matthew.

“And did you get the package I sent you?”

“Yes! I did!” Harry smiled brightly, “It was all so lovely, especially that coat! I love it. And I'll admit I probably ate most of the chocolates already.” He also might have posted a picture on Instagram of all the presents Matthew sent him for everyone to see, but it's not like he wanted someone in specific to see them. Not at all.

Matthew laughed, “Then I'll make sure to get more before I see you.”

“Yay...” Harry whispered under his breath shyly, biting back his pleased smile.

Matthew inclined his head and lifted his fingers to the computer screen, bringing them down a second after realizing he really couldn’t touch Harry. Smiling sadly, he commented gently, “You're bruises healed quite well. Almost can pretend it never happened now.”

Harry's smile faltered, but he forced himself not to show his inner panic. “Um, yea. It's all pretty healed up now.” Everything did heal, except now he'll have scars on his wrist for the rest of his life to remind him of it. He sometimes sees his mother or Gemma staring at his wrists, and it fills him with embarrassment, automatically making him shield his wrists from their view. It's something so personal to him – he doesn't like talking about it or thinking about it. He doesn't want to imagine the fans seeing them as well but, knowing how attentive they are to everything, they will eventually see them. 

Matthew doesn’t know though, and so he's asking Harry to attend his New York premiere, not knowing that a high quality picture combined with a simple tug or pull to his suit can ruin him. Now the perfect opportunity came to tell him the truth and Harry is just cursing his luck at this very moment. He doesn’t want Matt to look at him with pity and as if he's a ticking time bomb. He's officially that disturbed ex that people warn others about. 

Matt nodded, “That's great...” He paused, taking note of Harry's discomfort.

Harry waited a few seconds in tense silence, but the questions he knew Matt wanted to ask never came.

“So, today I was talking to my co-worker and...” 

“Wait,” Harry interrupted, confused after realizing Matthew wasn't going to ask anything else. He would have thought after two weeks, he would’ve been at least curious. So far Gemma, Jeff, and his mum all asked, why isn't he? “You're not going to ask what happened between me and... ?” Harry stopped, swallowing down his name.

“You two got into a fight.” Matthew furrowed his eyebrows, choosing his next words wisely. “That's what I was told... and that's all I need to know.”

“What?” Harry's eyes widened, shocked at that answer. He honestly would have betted Matthew would have used his status as his boyfriend to demand to know what happened between Harry and his ex-boyfriend.

“You and Tomlinson – I don't need to know.”

Harry felt relief course through him. He just couldn't talk about that day now after he's spent the past two weeks pushing it (him) out of his head.

Matthew continued, frowning at the computer screen, “Don't get me wrong, though. I'm pissed he touched you. When I first heard what happened – it took a lot not to get on an airplane to meet you home.”

Harry hummed tensely, shifting on his seat. “I hurt him back too...”

Matthew looked down, off the screen. “All I ask, Harry, is that you tell me if he's bothering you. If you're too uncomfortable being around him?”

Harry pursed his lips and nodded, now completely done with this conversation. With all due respect, what can Matthew do? Him and Louis are stuck together through One Direction – and Harry has no intention on leaving the band.

But Harry doesn’t want to fucking think about Louis anymore. “Anyways...” He shook his head, a bit agitated, and sat up a bit straighter. “You're coming tomorrow right? I haven't seen you in so long, almost forgot how you looked like.” Harry pouted.

Matthew blinked at the abrupt change in Harry's attitude but went along with it. He knows when to take a hint. “Um, yes I am! After this interview I'm heading straight to the airport and be there as soon as I can to remind you.”

Harry blushed, “If you're the same as in your movies, then I really can't wait.”

Matthew opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by a knock.

Turning around, Matthew nodded to whatever was being said to him on the other side. Harry really couldn’t decipher what was being said, and waited patiently for Matthew to come back.

Once the older man turned back around, Harry knew by the apologetic grimace it was time to go.

“Harry, I have to get going now. I still have to go get styled and prepped.”

Harry nodded, a little too enthusiastically. “Yea, of course! You have a good day!”

Matthew smiled, “And you have a good night.”

Sighing, Harry closed the Skype window and his laptop, setting it back on the table. That was a little too quick for him, but he'll text him later. Focusing on Matthew – it just helps forgetting about Louis for a bit. There are times Harry has to force himself to focus on his boyfriend but he knows it'll get easier when he sees him in person. Matthew really isn't an ugly face to look at and Harry hopes seeing him again will drive away remnants of a certain blue-eyed vixen out of his mind. 

“Hey, sweetie...”

Harry looked up to see his mom stand by the doorway, juggling two, steaming hot, mugs, “I brought you some hot chocolate.”

Harry smiled and scooted over in his bed, allowing her to climb in next to him. Taking the mug carefully from her hands, he muttered his thanks.

Anne smiled at him softly, combing his hair with her fingertips. “Gem's already sleeping. I thought you were as well but then I heard you talking to Matthew earlier, so I decided to head to the kitchen to make us some. Did you thank him for letting us stay here, by the way?”

“Yes, mum, I did.” Harry rolled his eyes. Honestly. “Like I did the time before that as well.”

She nodded, “Just want to be polite. I'm grateful he offered up his house to you, it was very nice of him.”

“Yea...” Harry agreed, sipping his hot chocolate tentatively. “Um, his family is coming over tomorrow for Thanksgiving.”

“Oh? And so is he I presume?”

Harry nodded, frowning down at his mug, “I'm actually quiet nervous for tomorrow.”

Anne gripped his arm comfortingly, “Don't be. You're absolutely amazing, plus a very charming person. They'll all love you.”

Harry nodded, staying silent on his disagreement with that statement. He was a very charming person, stress on the word was. He honestly doesn’t feel like talking to strangers at the moment.

“And... How are you feeling? Are you okay?”

“Yes, mum.” Harry replied automatically. She did this every time. She went to the kitchen before he went to bed, made him hot chocolate just like she used to make when he was younger, and comes into his room pretending she didn't do the same thing just the night before. The same questions are asked at the beginning as well.

And guess what they always do next?

“So...” Anne cuddled closer, “What are we watching?”

Smiling to himself, Harry hits play on the movie still paused on the television. “Days Gone By. I'm only forty minutes in... they love each other against their parents wishes, but he gets into a car accident.”

Anne gasped, “Oh no...”

Harry hummed, “From what I've read in the description, he gets into a coma, only to wake up five years later.”

Anne turned to him, frowning. “Does she move on?”

Harry nodded, “Yupp, has a fiancee... now shush.”

They laid in bed, cuddling against one another, while watching the rest of the movie and sipping on their hot chocolate. Anne continued to run her hands through his hair, glancing at him every so often.

Things got tense and uncomfortable when Matthew's love interest in the film shows him the scars on her wrist – ones she made years ago when she was alone and slowly giving up on the idea that he'll be waking up one day. Harry now knows Fate isn't happy with him.

“You know, when I first found out – about you, you know....” Anne started, lowering the volume to the television, “I – I wondered, was it because of me? Did I not do enough? As a mother?”

“Mum!” Harry sat up, staring horrified as his mother began to cry silently, her hands beginning to shake. This is a deviation from their silent agreement of talking only about safe topics. “Please don't think that...”

“It's just... one of those things that gets you questioning, how well you've actually done as a mother? Did I not love you enough? Do enough? Are you going to do it again? Was it because I let you run off at 16 to live in London? Did I -” She broke off, looking away from him. Her shoulders were shaking.

“Mum,” Harry felt tears begin to slide down his cheeks. “Mum, please, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I promise never to do it again. It had nothing to do with you, I was just.... I don't even know why I did it. I'm sorry, Mum.” He nuzzled into her neck, hugging her around her middle, trying to comfort her as much as possible.

Anne turned around, and hugged him back tightly, kissing the top of his head, “Your my baby, Harry. My baby boy, you'll always be my baby. I'm sorry you felt the need to do that to yourself. I should have been there....”

Harry looked at her, finding it funny that she's taking credit of his stupidity when he's now a good head taller than her when standing up.

“Mum...” Harry, “You were the best mother anyone could have asked for. I am so thankful for everything you've done. I don't know what I'll do without you.”

“And I don't know what I'll do without you, baby!” Anne cried, cupping his cheeks. “So, you have to promise me to never ever do that again?”

Harry let out a small sob, nodding speedily. Harry is now convinced a person has truly never felt true regret and sadness until they've seen their own mother cry.

With one last kiss to his head, Anne stood up from the bed, wiping away at his face. Picking up the two empty mugs, she gave him a small smile. “I'm going to go wash the dishes, then get ready for bed, okay sweetie? Not really feeling up for a movie night tonight.”

Harry nodded, mirroring her smile. He didn't want to see this anymore, either. “Okay, love you mum.”

“Love you, Harry.”

XXX

The next morning, Harry woke up to music drifting down the hallway and into the bedroom. Dazed and still sleepy, Harry sat up slowly, eyes still narrowed.

He doesn’t remember leaving the door open last night and... cleaning? The room smelled distinctly of fresh linen and his suitcase, along with it's pile of clothes that sat on top of it, were all gone.

Throwing the heavy comforter back, Harry slipped out of bed, and made his way to the bathroom. It smelled of bleach and pine in there. After going through his morning rituals, Harry walked out of the room and down the hallway where the noise was coming from. He saw Gloria vacuuming the living with a fast, Spanish song, blaring from the speakers. Gemma was on the couch, fixing up the cushions and throw pillows.

“What's going on?” Harry rasped out over the music.

“Harry!” Gemma grinned, looking up at him, “Good morning sleeping beauty! You didn't tell me we were celebrating Thanksgiving!” She bounced over to him, punching him in the arm. 

“Ow!” Harry pouted, rubbing the spot where she hit him. “You were sleeping. Where's mum?”

“With Sarina, Matthew's mum, in the kitchen. She put all of us to work as soon as she saw us. Made me want to strangle your sleeping body.” She pouted.

Harry's eyes widened, “Oh no, she's here?! What time is it?”

Gemma nodded. “Yup! And it's 9. We all woke up when we heard her come in, but you didn't so she figured she'll let you sleep. She's surprised you didn't wake up at all with the ruckus we were all making. She even went into the bedroom to clean, and you stayed asleep.”

“Yea.. well..” Harry scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment. He spent most of the night awake, alternating between crying and staring into space deep in thought. “Gem... I can't see her. I'm in my pajamas and I don't know where my clothes are. And what do I say when she asks why I'm staying here? Oh my god... she's going to hate me.”

Gemma just rolled her eyes. “You're being dramatic. She's actually really nice.... very Italian.” Gemma smiled and shook her head, “Just go in there before she goes looking for you.”

Harry cringed and nodded, allowing himself to be pushed into the kitchen. When he walked in, he instantly recognized his mother, sitting on one of the stools belonging to the marble island at the center of the kitchen. She was dressed and writing something down on a notepad.

“Okay... and garlic and more tomatoes?” Anne asked, scribbling even more items on the list.

“Yes! And the extra virgin olive oil. Not that crap Gloria got. Do not know how Mexican's cook their food, but that's not how I do it.” 

Anne smiled up at the other speaker, “Gloria's from Dominican Republic, Sarina.”

Matthew's mom, on the other side of the kitchen, stood up from examining something inside one of the ovens. She was a petite, somewhat rounded woman, with short black hair and brown eyes, and was waving her hand in the air dismissively at his mother's correction. “Yea, yea... okay, looks like the pork is marinating well. It's good thing I remembered to season it yesterday on time.”

Pork? Harry thought it was all about Turkeys for Thanksgiving.

Harry cleared his throat, stepping closer into the kitchen and forcing himself not to react to the freezing tiled floors against his bare feet.

Two sets of eyes landed on him at once, making him freeze. “Uh... hi.”

Sarina smiled at him warmly, “Harry? Oh my...” She took him in, walking closer and giving his body a good once over. “My son sure knows how to pick 'em.”

Harry blushed and glanced over at his mother, who was just hiding her loving smile behind her hand.

“My name's Sarina.”

“Harry Styles.” He answered back formally, extending his hand.

Sarina nodded, and then surprised him with a tight hug instead, which he reciprocated a bit more awkwardly, blinking in shock as she kissed his cheeks without hesitation. “Oh! You're so tall! Not as tall as Metteo, thankfully. I need that man to bend down for me to kiss him.” She pulled back, grinning. “Oh, I'm so happy to meet you.”

“It's good to meet you as well.” Harry smiled back, a bit overwhelmed if he was honest.

Sarina noticed this and stepped back a bit, “Get used to me, quickly. There’s a lot more family members to come, including my husband, Frank. He's out picking up my parents from the airport.”

“Oh, from Italy?” Anne asked back while she opened up the fridge, pulling out the carton of orange juice.

“Yes, my parents live in Sicily – their names are Antonio, call him Tony, and Isabella. They do not speak English, so you'll need me or Matteo to translate.” Sarina explained, still carefully observing Harry. She seemed to still be smiling, so hopefully it's not a bad thing.

Harry nodded, clearing his throat. “Matthew did mention that they lived in Italy.”

“Yes, so did I when I was younger, until I met an American tourist, married that son of a bitch, and moved to America to be with him.”

Harry's eyes widened, while Anne laughed handing him a glass of juice.

“Best decision of my life, Harry.” Sarina laughed at his expression. “So if you ever feel the need to follow in my footsteps, please do so. I speak from experience.”

Harry chocked on his orange juice after realizing what she was hinting at, making the two women laugh. 

It was Anne who saved him from answering, “Oh no, Sarina, I think it's much too soon to be thinking about that.”

“Ehh...” Sarina shrugged, “Maybe your right.” She turned back around and pulled out a stool, motioning for Harry to sit down. “Vieni. I'll whip you up something to eat.”

“Oh, Mrs. James, it's fine...”

She glared at him, “Sarina, Harry.”

Harry held his breath, not wanting to call her that. It felt so … improper? Too personal? “I'm not that hungry... it's fine really.”

Anne frowned, “Harry...”

“Oh, it won't be anything heavy, don't worry.” Sarina said already deciding to make him something, turning to one of the cupboards to pull out a loaf of bread. “Just some toast with Nutella? Have to save room for tonight of course.”

“Um, okay...” Harry conceded. Might as well. Turning to his mother, he asked, “Did you move my suitcase anywhere, I was hoping I could change and get ready?”

Anne pointed to Matthew's mother, just as the woman started explaining, “Oh, that was me, Harry. I placed all your clothes in the drawers. Just wanted to clean up before the guests started arriving.”

Harry raised his eyebrows. She put all his clothes... in Matthews drawers. “Oh! Okay... well I'm just.. going to get ready...” He said, slowly backing out of the room.

After hearing their acknowledgments, he booked it, flying into the living room not a second later. “Oh my god...!” Harry hissed quietly to Gemma as he passed her, still in shock.

“I think she has your wedding planned already.” She whispered back, smirking.

Harry just shook his head and continued walking to the Master bedroom with his glass of orange juice in hand. Sarina was funny and really easy to get a long with, Harry definitely could like her, but why did she have to put his clothes in Matthew's drawers? Harry still doesn’t know how he feels about her touching his stuff without him knowing, either.

Groaning, Harry got on his knees in front of one of the drawers and pulled a random one open. Nope – not his. It took him another two tries, before he saw all his shirts in one drawer. Pulling the first long-sleeved one he found out, Harry cursed his luck as he began to look for the drawer containing all his jeans. He was scared to start looking for his briefs, not wanting to think about her handling them and sticking them next to Matthews.

Finding, a pair of jeans, Harry got changed quickly and made his way back to the kitchen at a much steadier pace. When he arrived, he didn't see his mother anymore.

“She went to go get her clothes, I'm sending her out with the other girls to get some things.” Sarina explained at seeing Harry's face. “I would go but I'm the one tending to the cooking and even after almost 30 years of living in New York, there's only so much I can take from the people out there. Oggi ci sono tanti personi la fuori!”

What? Harry stared at her blankly, but she provided no translation. He wasn't that well in languages; the extent to his multilingual tongue was just a single sentence in french. After realizing she wasn't going to talk anymore, he sat on the stool of the island, staring as she grated a solid slab of cheddar cheese.

“Do you need any help with anything?” He offered after a couple minutes, not wanting to just sit here. 

She paused in her grating and then nodded. “You can do this, while I start on making my famous pasta sauce,” she winked at him. “Go wash your hands first and I'll show you.”

He went over to the sink to do just that, “I actually do cook a lot when I'm at home.”

Sarina glanced at him, while moving the grater and cheese bowl over to his seat. “What do you cook?”

“Um, tacos, fajitas, salmon, and sometimes pasta?” Harry listed quietly, realizing that every meal he's cooked... they were for Louis. When it's just Harry in the house, he orders take out or goes out to eat, not seeing the point of cooking for just himself. 

She nodded, “Good, maybe my son won't starve himself anymore. There's nothing like a good home cooked meal. I'm glad that man has you now, maybe I won't worry so much.”

Harry frowned but didn't say anything. He just went back to his seat to get started right away. 

“Okay, yes that's how you do it.” She said as she looked over his shoulder while he worked, “Do the whole block. Al fine, Harry.” There goes that Italian again. He's going to have to buy himself a dictionary, now. 

“Okay, Harry dear,” Harry turned to see his mother standing in the doorway, putting on her coat, “I'm heading out with Gloria and Gemma to pick up some last minute groceries, okay?” 

Harry nodded, a bit on edge at the thought of being by himself with Sarina.

“Do you need anything? Will you be okay?”

“Goodness sake, Anne, he'll be fine with me, right Harry? He'll be my official helper and taste tester.”

“Yay!” Harry grinned back at her.

Anne smiled, “Okay, then you two have fun. I can't wait to come back and bake in this kitchen. It's amazing, by the way!”

Sarina nodded proudly, “Oh yes, I came with Matthew to look at this apartment and almost forced him to buy it specifically for this kitchen.”

Anne laughed, “Sounds like a reasonable reason to buy this place. Well, we're off then.”

“See you, Harry!” Gemma stuck her head in the kitchen to wave bye at him. 

“Bye.” Harry waved back, hearing them walk towards the front entrance of the apartment where the private elevator to Matthew's garage was set up.

Harry continued working on the cheese, which turned out to be quiet a long tedious process, while she busied herself doing what looked to be four different things all at once. Harry was getting stressed along with her, seeing her run around the kitchen preparing the food. Sarina said everyone's bringing something to the dinner, but so far he's seen her cook more than enough for a small army. He spent the next half hour answering some of her basic questions like age, how did he become a singer, how did Matthew and him meet, etc. 

“Aha!” Sarina smiled suddenly, grabbing a clean spoon from inside a drawer and gathering a bit of sauce from the sauce pan. “Here, try this for me.”

Harry made to grab the spoon but when she just placed it near his mouth, he just opened wide. “Hmm... wow it's really good! You're amazing! Can I get the recipe?” Maybe he can cook this back... actually on second thought never mind.

Sarina laughed and nodded happily, and both turned when they heard the elevator by the entrance hall open up. She gasped, placing the spoon in the sink and cleaning her hands with a rag. “That must be Matteo. It's much too soon for the girls to be back.”

True to her assumption, a few seconds later Matthew appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, bags in each hand. “Ma!” Harry smiled as he turned to go wash his hands, seeing the two hug each other closely and Sarina discreetly wipe at her eyes. “I missed you.”

“Matteo, I missed you so so so much.” The older woman kissed her son's cheek back when he bended down to kiss hers.

Swiping his hands on the rag next to him, he stood to the side nervously. He had no idea how he was to greet him. He still wasn't comfortable making the first move at all...

Matthew made that choice for him, disentangling himself from his mother's arms and reaching for him, “Harry...” The older man smiled down at him while bringing him closer, Harry going to him willingly. He placed a hand on Harry's cheek and brought his lips down to meet the soft, plump pink one's.

Harry allowed himself to kiss back eagerly for a second, before pulling away. “Your mom...” He whispered pointedly when Matt pouted and was just about to kiss him again. 

“No, please don't stop on my account!” Sarina laughed, seeing Harry's reluctance to show PDA, “But do go get ready, your nonni should be here soon, Matteo.” With that said, she turned around to pour some tortellini into a pot of boiling water.

Pulling back, Matthew took his hand, “Come with me? Just need to put my suitcase and bags in the room. I got you something.” 

Harry grinned and followed him out the door, “Really what? More of those chocolates?”

“Maybee... you'll have to see.” Matthew teased.

“Thank you again, by the way, for letting me, my mum, and my sister stay here... If I would have known I was intruding on your Thanksgiving-”

Matthew bent down and gave him a quick peck. “Don't say that. I'm extremely happy that you're here today.”

“And what do your parents think of me being here?”

“Well I don't know, how did she act around you today? Trust me, if my mom didn't like you she would have told you as soon as she could. That woman has no filter, sometimes.”

Harry laughed, watching him unpack his bag on top of the bed, then realizing in shame that he forgot to make the bed this morning. “Oh shit,” Harry smacked his forehead, “I forgot to do the bed when I woke up. I'm so sorry for the mess!”

“Don't worry, I never do it either, besides seeing it all messy like that is quiet a sight.”

“Matt!” Harry gaped at him, blushing red at the innuendo.

“But my mom, did she act okay with you?” Matthew looked at him seriously.

“Um,” Harry nodded, “Yea, she was lovely...” Harry chuckled a bit, “She put all my clothes in your drawers actually. So that might be a good sign from her.”

Matthew let out a chuckle, his relief evident. Sitting on the bed, he pulled Harry in between his parted legs, “Well that's convenient for us.”

“Hmm? Is it?” Harry whispered.

Matthew looked a bit to the side, not meeting his eyes, “You know there’s this one curl that keeps bouncing every time you talk – makes it very distracting.”

Harry laughed and was bombarded by kisses, feeling Matthew's hand in his hair bury itself in his hair. Matthew circled his arms around Harry's waist and pulled him on top of him, laying down on the bed. They continued kissing like that for a few minutes before hearing the elevator door open up.

Harry pulled back. “Oh, maybe that's my mom and sister.” 

Matthew gave him a scared face. “Well then I'm going to go shower.”

He got up to make a bee-line to the bathroom but Harry laughed and grabbed him by his shirt and hugged him back on to the bed. Harry sat on top of Matthew, the actor's hands coming to rest on his hips. “Heyyy! No running away! I met your mum! Now you have to meet mines.” 

“Just promise me not to dump me too hard when she finds out she hates me.”

“Your ridiculous.” Harry laughed, shaking his head. “My mum already thinks you're amazing for how well you've treated me and for letting us stay here.”

“I would give her my house, if it'll keep me on her good side forever.”

He just rolled his eyes, leaning down to kiss his grin off.

“Matthew!” A gruff voice yelled from down the hall, and before Harry could get off from on top of Matt, a tall, balding man appeared at the door. The man took one look at Harry straddling Matthew and shook his head, “If you two are going to have sex, please close the door. You're not alone today and there are children here now.”

Harry, staring horrified at Frank, quickly jumped off of the actor's body. 

Matthew just laughed and sat up. “Hi dad! Good to see you too!”

Frank nodded and waved him over. “Come help me bring the Christmas tree up. It's downstairs by the car. The sooner we set the tree up the sooner your mother can let me watch my football game in peace.” His eyes flicked over to Harry's, “Nice meeting you, Harry.”

Blushing mad, Harry just nodded, looking down at his hands as the older man walked out of the room.

Matthew kissed him chastely, “Hey, don't worry. My dad is a really low-maintenance kind of guy, not much affects him either. He probably doesn’t care.”

Harry just scowled at him, “That was embarrassing Matt.”

“Noooo. Don't think much of it.” Matthew chuckled, getting off the bed. “Now I'm going to go help my dad before he comes in here and pulls me by the ear. You shower, get dressed, and maybe we can go do some shopping if you'll like?”

Harry's eyes widened, “As in shopping outside the house?” Harry bit his lip. If he goes out, then that's it, no more hiding. He'll be forced to come back as soon as everyone sees that he's “recovered” and feeling better. After some thinking, Harry sighed, “Okay.”

Matthew observed him for a while. “You sure? It'll be the first time you'll be seen. Everyone will know where you've been too.”

Harry punched him lightly on the arm, “Do you want to go shopping or not? Let's go before I change my mind. It's time for me to go back, anyways. I need to come out of hiding some time.”

Matthew kissed him one more time, before making his way to the door. “Oh and your presents are in the blue gift bags, if you want to take a peek?” He laughed when he saw Harry immediately jump towards the bags on the floor. It wasn't Christmas, nor his birthday but in the short span of two weeks, Harry has received three packages delivered to the house filled with expensive gifts, so he's gotten used to Matthew spoiling him with lavish presents.

Harry looked inside the bags, pulling out every gift and laying them out on the carpet; A Cartier watch, a teddy bear, a couple of patterned headscarves that Harry absolutely loved, and finally, the chocolates he was promised. Smiling happily, Harry closed the door to the bedroom and went to take a shower. 

While he was lathering up, he finally let himself think about his boys.... and Louis. They must be somewhere in another hotel, most likely in Australia. He heard, and tweeted, about One Direction winning a number of awards this past week. He's proud, he really is, but is still unwilling to go to them yet. Harry feels awful that he left his bandmates to do most of the promo for their album after the mess in Orlando. The anger they must be feeling is another reason he is stalling as much as possible in going back.

Louis is a different matter. He's still pissed off at him, and is still in no mood to see him yet, even think about him.

Coming out of the steaming shower, Harry quickly put on his underwear, which he found in the first drawer he opened – right next to Matthew's as well. He was bit uncomfortable over that – it might have taken only a couple months for Harry to decide to move in with Louis but he is in no way eager to repeat his past's mistakes.

He picked out his clothes for today – black skinny jeans, white t-shirt, and a maroon button-up shirt over it, left unbuttoned of course. He slipped on a pair of brown, Givenchy, ankle boots and one of the headscarves Matthew gave him, the maroon and tan one. Looking at himself in the mirror, Harry pursed his lips. Maybe take off the headscarf? He doesn't want Matthew's family to think he's full of himself and a high-maintenance popstar. But, at the same time, Harry really thinks it completes the outfit.

Harry pouted, and took off the headscarf, leaving it on the bed – which he finally made before he got in the shower.

Walking outside their room about three kids dressed in semi formal attire were running all over the place. The small girl was dressed in a black dress with red stockings, the boy in khakis and a red knit sweater, and the boy who appeared to be his twin wore the exact same thing. They seemed to be playing a competitive game of tag, and Harry had to abruptly stop one or twice to avoid missing one of the flying kids.

“Okay, Joshua, Steven, and Maggie to the living room now! Uncle Matty will be very angry at you if you break something again this year! The parade should be passing us soon, so go!” A very-pregnant woman in a sweater dress yelled, conducting the children to the floor-to-ceiling windows, while carrying a pan wrapped in aluminum foil. 

“Here let me help you.” Harry said, taking the heavy pan from her and making their way to the kitchen. Harry sneakily took a sniff of the pan – smelled like lasagna.

“Oh, thank you!” She smiled gratefully, placing her hand on her belly. “Those three are such a handful sometimes. I'm Kirsten, Matt's sister.” 

“I'm-”

Kirsten snorted and waved her hand, “Trust me, I know who you are. More than I'd like to actually.”

Walking in to the kitchen Harry saw Sarina, his mother, sister, Matthew's grandparents, and two other people he didn’t recognize. 

After introductions were made, Harry stood next to Gemma, who was on her laptop, shifting nervously. Looks like everyone came while he was getting ready and Gloria had gone home to her own family, with a big sized bonus check for the holidays as well, something that one of Matthew's aunt was complaining at the moment was too much.

“How old are you, Harry?” Carla, Matthew's aunt asked after filling up everyone’s wine glasses and coming to hand him one as well.

“Twenty, ma'm.”

“Oh, that's more than old enough.” She said, giving him the glass.

“Harry, why don't you go and see the parade as well, Frank and Matteo should be there as well setting up the Christmas tree.” Sarina said from her place in front of the oven. “Keep an eye on those kid's as well.”

“The Macy's parade?” Harry asked.

Sarina nodded, “Yupp, it passes by here every year.” 

“Oh, okay. I'm going to go take a look.” He nodded and made his way over with his wine glass in hand. 

As soon as he walked in, he saw Matthew and Frank working on a huge Christmas tree at the side of the room, both not noticing Harry's arrival and arguing over something.

“Look, it's going to be crooked, let's take it off the stand again and re-screw it, dad.” Matthew told his father who just grunted and ignored him. Smiling at the small family squabble happening, Harry stood by the window of the living room, eyeing the kids warily as they resumed their game of tag. He really felt it would be rude to say something, with this not being his house or even related to them. He cringed a bit, though, when they knocked over a couple of table pieces, but thankfully they didn’t break. 

When they were finally done with the tree (which did come out crooked and had to be moved again), Matthew walked over and stood next to him, wrapping his arms around Harry from behind. “I'm going to go shower and get ready ok? Be right back.” 

With a kiss to the side of Harry's head, he walked off, leaving Harry to his own thoughts again. Matthew's family were very nice and kind people, and extremely huge. Apparently the people in the house were just extremely close, being immediate family members. Christmas was a much bigger affair with much more people. 

Everyhting seemed perfect – almost too perfect. Harry was just waiting for something to ruin this day. He massaged the inside of his wrists where the scars were absentmindedly, thinking back on that day. He felt the need to do it, and he won't lie – he feels the need to do it again sometimes. But he won't. Seeing Gemma kneeling down next to him crying because of him wasn't something he wanted to repeat. Louis was a huge part of him, but so were his family.

Louis... 

Harry sighed and closed his eyes, feeling the need to cry claw up his throat. Forcing Louis away from his thoughts, he focused on Matthew. The actor has been nothing but kind and wonderful to Harry. There are times Harry can't help compare him to Louis, though. The way they both held him, kissed him and talked to him. Both were polar opposites. Louis being loud, sassy and extremely funny, making Harry burst into giggles and those stupidly loud embarrassing laughs he makes. Matthew, on the other hand, was much more reserved and polite, and also extremely good-looking. 

Harry was startled out of his small pity party by something silky wrapping around his head. Jumping around, he turned to look at man. He was dressed in black slacks and a while button up shirt, his sleeves rolled up halfway for a more casual look. Gulping, Harry looked up to meet his eyes. Matthew was definitely a gorgeous man, though he still found it a little out of place when he has to lean up to kiss instead of bending down.

“I really don't know how you wrap it around like you do. Help?” Matthew smiled, holding up the silk headscarf Harry had left on the bed.

Holding back his grin, Harry took it with nimble fingers and wrapped it around his hair.

“So, I called ahead to some stores and they'll close them down for a couple hours to allow us to shop in there.”

Harry frowned, “And what are the chances they didn't call paparazzi's soon afterwards?”

Matthew grimaced, “Not that great. They probably want the promo to their store.”

Harry sighed and nodded, “Well it had to be done. Let's go.” 

Matthew held his hand and led him to the elevator, fetching their coats from the closet across it.

After getting into a dark-tinted car Andrew had called for, they were both taken to a few stores, all spread around Manhattan. Harry took this opportunity to buy his Christmas presents to everyone he knew, except Matthew's of course. And Louis.

“Here, try this one on for yourself now.” Matthew suggested, handing him a brown wool coat. Harry took it from him after shrugging off his own jacket, and put it on. 

They were in Oscar De La Renta's store on Madison Ave, taking their time in trying on different clothes. The employees at the store gave them their privacy and were waiting at the front of the store, having closed the entire store for the two celebrities. Harry couldn't see the front store form here, but knew there were about a dozen papparazzi's waiting outside the glass windows for a shot of them. He's pretty sure they already have a variety of pictures to sell to magazines, being that this isn't their first stop. They went to Bendel's, Prada (where Harry picked up an expensive purse for his mother), Saks and Burberry as well. He didn't want to even glance at twitter, scared on how he's reappearance is being handled.

“How does it look? I think I'm going to buy it. I love it.” Harry looked away from his reflection to look at him.

But Matthew wasn't looking at him or the coat – he was staring at his wrist. Glancing down at his covered wrists, he realized his mistake. When he was changing from one coat to another, his long sleeves bunched up his arm, revealing his scars.

Matthew flicked his eyes up to Harry's face, not saying a word.

Harry cleared his throats, avoiding eye contact and fixing the coat. “So... the thing is. It – it might have been more than a fight... that made me have to come here.”

Matthew closed his eyes, exhaling and shaking his head, “Why didn't you say anything? If I would have known...”

“If you would have known, what?” Harry scoffed.

Matthew opened his eyes, “I wouldn’t have let you come to New York. I would have made you get on a plane and bring you straight to me.” He stepped closer to Harry, bringing him close to his body. Reaching down, Matthew slowly lifted up his hand, moving the coat and Harry's shirt out of the way.

Holding his breath, Harry watched as Matthew observed his scars. “They'll... they'll fade with time.. and I have this lotion... it should..” Harry's poor excuse of conversation died in his throat as Matthew brought the inside of his wrist closer to his mouth, kissing the sensitive flesh there. “Matt?” Harry whispered, transfixed.

He just hummed in reply, moving his head up to Harry's.

Harry giggled when Matthew then carried on to press small kisses to his neck, cheeks, nose, forehead, eyes, and mouth, “What- what are you doing?”

“I'm trying (kiss) to kiss (kiss) away (kiss) your (kiss) pain.” 

Harry rolled his eyes, smiling all the same. He gasped, angling his neck more and gripping Matt's waist, when Matthew actually kissed a very sensitive spot on his neck, the one very closely under his ear. “W-why?

Matthew pulled back to look at him, “You know when someone kisses away your boo-boos when your younger? Like that.” He explained, going back to kissing his face.

Giggling, Harry just stood there while Matthew kissed him, feeling his heart mend a little with every kiss given. This time when Matthew came back to kiss his lips, he kissed back, holding his lips in place. Harry brought his hands to Matthews cheeks, pressing himself closer to the taller man.

They continued kissing for another minute or so, pulling back a little out of breath. Matthew stared at him, a strange glitter to his eye.

“What?” Harry cocked his head.

Matthew just shook his head, smiling.

“What is it?” Harry pushed him playfully.

Biting his lip, Matt answered, “You might get mad at me.”

Harry frowned, automatically thinking the worst, “Why?”

Taking a deep breath, Matthew slowly told him the last thing he wanted to hear. “I think I might be really falling for you.”

“Falling?” Harry repeated, eyes wide in fear.

“In-”

“Don't say it.” Harry hissed.

“Love.” Matthew finished resolutely.

Harry groaned in frustration, turning around and throwing his hands in the air. “Why would you say such a thing?”

“Because it's true?”

“Take it back!” Harry demanded, circling around to glare at him.

“No, Harry. It's no big deal.”

“How can you say that?” Harry whispered, baffled at his idiocy. “I can't... I can't...”

Matthew placed his hands on Harry's shoulders, gently massaging them to try and calm the hysterical boy down before he burst into tears, which Harry was already on the brink of doing.

“I'm didn't say that so that I can hear you say it back, Harry. You don't have to say anything, I don’t expect you too.”

Harry stepped back from his hands, “But now that I know you feel that way... I can't.. I can't lead you on like that, Matthew.” Harry shook his head, “You know how I feel about... about Louis... and I just... I'm not ready..”

Matt furrowed his eyebrows, staring at him incredulously, “You don't think I know I'm the rebound?”

Harry swallowed and averted his gaze.

Matthew took a step towards him but Harry stopped him, putting his hand to Matt's chest. 

“I'm still not over Louis,” There. There was the one thing he's been ignoring for the past two weeks, “Which means I can't, I'm incapable, of loving you like you deserve to be loved.”

“Hey, maybe one day you can.” Matthew smiled optimistically. “I'm willing to wait.”

Harry shook his head, tears welling up in his eyes. “I used to say the same thing. I know how it feels, Matt. To feel like the second choice and I refuse to make you feel that way.”

“I don't care!”

“I do!”

Matt sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “It's different than with you and Tomlinson. We're way different!”

“How?” Harry asked, staring at him in disbelief.

“You're not treating me the way he treated you. Look at us, we're out shopping in New York City where there are probably already 100's of pap shots of us already. You've met my family and you treat me with respect. You've instagramed and tweeted a number of posts about us. I, in no way, feel second to anyone. And if you give us a shot, a real shot Harry, I know-”

Harry doesn't let him finish and throws himself into Matthew's arms, hugging him and burying his face in the crook of his neck.

He's in no way in love with Matthew but he's going to let himself pretend. He's going to let him say “I love you” when the time comes, even if Harry loves someone else. He's going to let Matthew kiss him, compliment his eyes, and let him brush away the tears that were falling at this very moment. He's going to let Matt hold his shaking his hands in front of all the paparazzi and their fans, and let himself be taken to his house for Thanksgiving dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just a filler - it was time to get to know Matthew a bit better. And Thanksgiving is here so yay!! Food food food! I'll be in a food coma for the next few days but the next chapter should be up soon. 
> 
> Comments?? I live off of them. :D Hope you enjoyed and Happy Thanksgiving!


	8. XO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANKSGIVING FLUFF PART 2

“Okay, Maggie your turn.”

The little girl scrunched up her face in thought, “Hm... Oh I know! Wait, no not that....” Everybody groaned.

“Mags, just think of anything your thankful for this year? Like any good grades? Family? Health?” Matthew suggested.

Maggie frowned, and continued humming with her finger placed on her chin, kneeling on her chair. “I'm thankful for..... Harry Styles! Yay!” Maggie giggled, turning to give Harry a big hug.

The people surrounding the table all laughed and emitted soft “Aw's” at the adorable little girl. Turns out Matthew's nieces and nephews are huge One Direction fans. Maggie, in particular, thinks Harry is here as her present. The small raven haired girl threw a fit earlier when she was told Harry couldn't sit next to her, but Harry, with his unceasing love for kids, catered to her demand. She's very determined to steal Harry away from Matthew as well – or so she tells everyone who would listen.

Matthew just laughed and shook his head, “Harry? It's your turn.”

Harry bit his lip. He has been thinking of something he could say since they started going around the table, but has yet to think of anything. “Oh, I guess I'm thankful for...” He looked around the table, taking a second to observe Gemma and his mum from across from him. They smiled at him encouragingly. “I'm thankful for having such a great mum and big sister. Don't know what I could ever do without those two.” Gemma pretended to wipe away fake tears, making a few people laugh. “I'm thankful for getting to do what I love as a job, getting to celebrate Thanksgiving with you all, getting to eat so much food. Seriously, I'm stuffed, thank you for the food.” He smiled, while everyone laughed as he patted his stomach. “And for Matthew.” Harry finished off, looking at the man in question right next to him. 

“Don't know what I would have done these past two weeks without you.” Harry whispered to him honestly. This man was a godsend and frankly, he needed this. To be cared for and just listened to – if Harry's being selfish in keeping Matthew, then so be it.

Matthew smiled and leaned down to give him a quick peck on the lips in reply.

“Hey...” He turned to see Maggie pouting.

“And you Maggie, definitely you! I wouldn’t have a job if you didn't like me!” Harry said for everyone to hear this time, smiling at her warmly.

Matthew cleared his throat, “I guess now it's my turn.”

“Thank God, this is taking forever! There's a football game to watch you know.” Frank said gruffly, stuffing his face with a forkful of Anne's cake.

“Who's playing?” Harry asked from his seat.

Frank eye's him in appraisal, “Why? You like football?”

Harry nodded, “Favorite team are the Green Bay Packers.”

Frank scoffed, “Why?! They're a load of crap!”

“Oh?” Harry raised his eyebrows, pretending to be offended. He eventually warmed up to Matthew's father soon after discovering that he's pretty blunt with almost everybody. He's just an Irish and Bulgarian man who loves football and his beer, and if you don't mess with either of those two he'll like you regardless.

“Yea, I saw their last game and let me-”

“Okay, enough football talk at the table,” Sarina glared at her husband, interrupting him. “Matteo? You're the last one.” 

Matthew laughed at his father's expression, turning to glance at everyone at the table. He smiled at Harry, who was seated directly to his left, from his own seat at the head of the table. Taking Harry's hand at the top of the table, he began, “I am thankful for having such a great family, new friends,” He nodded to Anne and Gemma, “My health, my career, and for Harry. Thankful that Harry gave me a chance and is taking part in our family's Thanksgiving dinner. So, thank you Harry.” Matthew gazed at him fondly, squeezing his hand.

Harry returned his smile, blushing at the attention they were receiving now.

“Yes, thank you Anne, Gemma and Harry for being with us. It was so nice to meet you all.” Sarina said and then turned to everyone else on the table. “Now that that's done, it's time to start strategising for tonight! I got multiple circulars from different stores. Are we splitting up this year?”

Kristen fumbled trying to get the twins from throwing food at each other, “Oh mom, I don't think I am this year. Think I’m just going to head home now.”

Maggie gasped, “What? No, mommy can Harry come with us?”

Harry paused in chewing his cookie, staring at Maggie in surprise. 

Kirsten rolled her eyes at her daughter, and turned to her mother just as Sarina began to speak. “Yes of course, you should go home, you're pregnant! Rest, okay dear? Don't let those kids stress you out. Send them to me for a week if they're behaving bad, I'll straighten them up.” Sarina glared pointedly at Maggie, who just pouted and sat back down her chair, letting go of Harry's arm.

“Nonna's mean...” Maggie whispered loudly to Harry, side-eyeing Sarina.

“Or send them to me, I'm done working in a few days.” Matthew suggested, throwing Maggie a little wink. 

The little girl brightened up immediately. “I'll get to be with Harry!”

Kirsten glared at her brother, “No, Matt! You'll spoil them rotten and then they'll come home little monsters!”

Matthew laughed, “No, what are you talking about?”

“If it wasn't for Gloria, you'll be eating shit and you know it!”

“Ah, and that's why I gave her that bonus.”

“Which was stupid!” Carla spit out from the other side of the dining room table, “In my day, when we cleaned someone's house, we barely got paid a few dollars an hour, let alone a bonus! Remember Sarina?”

“All I want to remember is what stores we're going to!” Sarina glared pointedly at the table, trying to steer the conversation back to their Black Friday shopping.

“We can head over to Best Buy and then to Apple and see what their doing.” Spoke one of Matthew's other aunts, whom Harry actually forgot the name of and is praying doesn't talk to him.

“Apple never has any good sales, how about-” Sarina said shaking her head and kissing Kirsten goodbye distractedly. 

“Ma, you always go Black Friday shopping and at the end of the night you're just angry and frustrated. We have more than enough money to buy these things on a regular day.” Matthew cut in, standing up to hug Kirsten goodbye as well. Harry stood up and began to hug her and her children as well, promising to send Maggie a Christmas present too. Possibly One Direction tickets.

“Just because you have money now doesn't mean you can be stupid as well. There are really good sales, and I'm going! Do you want to come as well, Anne?”

Anne raised her eyebrows in surprise and put her cup of tea down, “Oh, I've never taken part, are the sales really that good?”

Gemma grinned at her mum, “We should go.”

Frank snorted. “I hate shopping but even I go out tonight. When Matthew was younger we only ever bought things on this day. We got our television, Matthew's laptop, the furniture... it's a good night.” 

Matthew turned to Harry and rolled his eyes. “They go every year, and even after I became a successful actor, they still do this.”

Sarina heard him and pursed her lips. “You know damn well if you could go, you would've in a heart beat.” She turned to her husband, “Which reminds me we can buy Matthew and Harry's gifts tonight. Add that on the list.”

Harry blushed and started to protest, “No, it's fine you don't-”

“Ma-” Matthew sighed and began as well.

“Shush Harry and don't “Ma” me, Matteo! It's cheaper! We can get that television for Randy and stop by Macy's to get everyone’s presents altogether. Oh! And we can -”

Matthew turned to Harry and shared an exasperated look, “Come, on let's get out of here. Their going to be at this for a while. They still need to check online for which stores have the good specials, which one's they'll be going to and who will go where. Stores don't open until Midnight anyways.”

Harry smiled, “It's a good thing we did our Christmas shopping already.” 

Leaving everyone in the dining room leaning over circulars and Gemma viciously going to different store websites, they made their way back to their room to change into pajamas. They were the two odd ones out of this tradition, who can't go out unless they want to make the dangerous night even more dangerous. There are mobs of people as it is, adding two celebrities into the mix could land them both in jail if they so much as try to step foot into a store.

Harry stepped out of the bathroom in a plaid, blue pajama bottom and a long-sleeved white thermal shirt. He didn't feel comfortable changing in front of Matthew – it just felt a little too domestic for him. Besides, he has a strong feeling these blue pants are Louis, and it's just making him a little to agitated at the moment. He must have accidentally taken it with him. 

“Okay, so Gloria went out earlier and bought a whole bunch of Christmas decorations. Want to help me decorate?” Matthew asked when he saw Harry step out.

Harry nodded and was led to one of the closets in the hallway that contained bags of decorations for the tree. Taking as many bags as they could, both made their way to the living room, where Frank was happily rubbing his belly and watching the football game. 

“Hey, dad. We're just going to be here and start decorating the tree, want to help?”

Frank just grunted and ignored them.

Harry turned to Matt, “I think that means no.”

Matthew laughed, “Yea, I think so too. Let's do this then.”

They chose a red and gold color scheme to go with the real, and exceedingly tall, tree. At some point, Matthew had to go find a step ladder to reach the top portions of the tree. The lights were a simple white, and balls of gold and red were scattered throughout very tastefully. Harry wrapped a velvet red ribbon with gold, glittered lace around the tree while Matthew placed sculpted ornaments (red icicles and gold glittered snowflakes). Harry also got to put the bright, white glowing star up top. When the tree was done, both men were covered in pine sap, glitter, and fake snow they decided to start spraying at each other.

Halfway through decorating, Frank must have been done having to listen to them mess around because he got up from his seat and walked into the kitchen.

Proudly, Harry stands in front of the tree and pulls out his phone, slapping Matthew's hand away from the camera's vantage point. Quickly, he snaps a photo of the beautiful tree, chooses that vintage filter he loves using and posts it up on Instagram. 

Glitter and Pine. @MatthewKJames We make beautiful trees.

Smiling, he links it to twitter, and then goes over to that social network, ignoring the dozens of comments the picture receives immediately. He tweets out for the first time in a long while:

Harry Styles. @Harry_Styles  
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! Really excited to get back to work soon! Thank you for all the support and kind words! Feeling a lot better :D

“Okay, we are ready!” Harry looks up to see Sarina coming out of the kitchen loudly, with everyone else in tow. “Everyone let's get our coats on!”

“Oh, you decorated the tree! It looks lovely!” Anne gasped, coming to stand by Harry and looking up at it while throwing her scarf around her neck.

Harry feels his phone vibrate and qucikly looks down to see a twitter notification. It was from Louis and it was just a retweet. Harry was going to dismiss the tweet, until his brain started to recognize the words on the screen.

Queasy, Harry wiped his finger on the notification, hoping it didn’t end the way he knows it does. Unfortunately, there it was, clear as day, for millions of people to see. People who damn well will now what it's going to imply.

Louis Tomlinson @Louis_Tomlinson  
RT “Love22Larry: If Harry is happy with Matthew, then so am I. But spare a thought for Louis, he's probably got a broken heart.”

Harry gasped, staring down at his phone. Did Louis really just...

Harry looked back up, eyes a bit more watery than he wanted them to be. Unfortunately, he happened to look right up into Matt's blue eyes. Matt immediately excused himself from talking to his dad and walked over to him in concern. “Harry?”

Harry shook his head, not wanting to make a scene in front of everyone. “I'm fine, I'm actually just not feeling very well at the moment.” 

Sarina seemed to have heard his complaint though, because soon enough she was next to him as well and checking his temperature with her hand. “Oh, Harry. Is it your head? You do seem a bit hot...”

“Harry?” Anne paused in putting on her coat, her face of a worried mother. Oh god, he just wanted to leave. The room seemed to be getting smaller and all he wanted was air. 

Stepping back Harry gave Matthew an exasperated look, turning to offer his mother a small smile. “No, it's okay. I'm just going to go lay down for a bit. You guys have fun.” He said, motioning to the direction of the bedroom.

“Okay, Harry. You go, rest!” She waved him off, “I'll come back as soon as I can and whip up some of my favorite broth I used to give Matthew whenever he got sick! Didn't matter what he had – cured him right up. Certo Matteo?”

Matthew nodded, still looking at Harry with worry. 

“Oh, no! That's ok, Mrs. James.”

“It's Sarina Harry.” She frowned, “But you sleep, okay? We'll all be back soon.”

Harry kissed his mother and sister goodbye, and waved goodbye to everyone else. 

Matt set his wine glass on the living room table. “I'll come with you, Harry.”

Harry cringed, making his way to the bedroom with Matthew in tow. “Oh... you don't have to.”

“Please, Harry... you might also be male, but my mother will kill me if I don't act like the proper gentlemen and take care of you.”

Harry smiled and shook his head in spite of himself. He really felt like being alone... but how do you say no to that explanation?

Walking into the cool bedroom, he breathed a deep sigh of relief, for once thankful the room was so spacious. And empty.

“Hey... what happened?”

Well almost empty. Harry didn't let himself get upset, though, smiling up at Matt, as the older man massaged his shoulders. “Just really need to breathe.... Louis retweeted something just now. It had... some meaning to it.”

Matthew nodded, frowning a bit.

Harry let himself walk deeper into the room and threw himself onto the bed, face down. “It's stupid. Don’t pay me any attention.”

“Hey, if it hurt you... then it's something to pay attention to.” Matthew said, laying his body parallel to his.

Turning to stare at Matthew, Harry bit his lip. “It's not that it … hurt me. It – it just implied that he was hurting, And in some weird, messed up way, I'm mad at him for that, but,” Harry scowled, trying to find the right words, “In another way, I'm confused. See... I retweeted almost exactly the same thing... when he and Eleanor started dating.”

“Seems like he's relating to the pain you felt that day...”

“Yea...” Harry whispered.

“Does... does it make you regret breaking up with him?” Matthew asked slowly.

Harry stayed silent, looking at Matthew in the eyes. How does Harry answer something he's haven't had the answer to since the moment he broke up with Louis? Instead, Harry shuffled closer to him, caressing his cheek as softly as he could, and placed his lips on Matthews.

They moved their lips together slowly, trying to get the feel of one another. It wasn't long until Harry felt the tip of Matthew's tongue massage his bottom lip, and he opened his mouth giving him full access. Heart beating loudly, Harry moaned when Matthew took control of their bodies, flipping them over and molding their mouths. Matthew was much bigger and broader than Harry, burying his hand in his hair and hiking Harry's leg around his waist.

Harry gasped when he felt Matthew's aroused bulge touch his own, disconnecting their lips with a loud suction noise and moving his face to the side. He was losing control, and fast. Harry was used to being the bottom as well as a top. Him and Louis were very versatile when it came to sex, thankfully, but Matthew was most definitely always a top. He can tell by the way he was instinctively conquering Harry at the moment. 

Harry has always loved sex (still very much does) and his and Louis relationship never once lacked in that department, even after four years. Now, it's been almost three weeks since he's gotten laid, and he wanted to continue this so badly, moaning and writhing under Matthew as the older man left a few love bites on his neck. But he couldn't. “Matt-” Harry closed his eyes and moaned, as Matthew hummed and grinded down on him slowly. “Matt... stop.” He groaned and leaned up to meet Matthew's lips for another deep kiss. Talk about mixed signals, right?

Matthew moaned softly, Harry feeling the deep vibration on his hands and lips. Unfortunately, Matthew pulled away right then, his breathing just as labored as his. He pulled his weight off of Harry slowly, almost making Harry whine in protest. “Is something wrong, Harry?”

Harry just groaned and turned his head to the side while closing his eyes. He felt like crying – this time due to the sexual frustration coursing through his veins. “Why are you so hot?”

Matthew laughed and landed his body next to his. “What's wrong?”

Harry turned to his side and opened his eyes, sighing deeply. “I don't think I can do this. I don't think I’m ready for this. It's just too soon.” Harry reached over and grabbed his hand. “It's not that I don’t want you because trust me, I do. It's just that if I let myself sleep with you in that way, what does that say about me? I am not over Louis and yet I'm having sex with you.” 

Matthew played with his fingers, staring at them and staying silent. Finally, he spoke quietly. “Let's just talk then.”

Harry sighed in relief, “You're – you're not mad, right?”

Matthew furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head, “Not at all, if anything I agree with you. We need to get to know each other a lot better – on a deeper level. A deeper knowledge of you that I don't know, but pretty sure Tomlinson does. That's why I think we should talk to each other a lot more often now. Just talking.”

“We talk all the time already.” Harry stared at him confused.

“I know, but-” Matthew looked up at him, “What keeps you up at night?”

Harry swallowed, surprised at such a question. “Um...”

“Be honest tonight, Harry. Brutally honest.”

“....he does.” Harry whispered flat out, eyes wide and looking apologetically at him. “What's he thinking? What's he doing? Does he hate me? Do I hate him?” He rattled off the questions that plagued him every night before he closed his eyes.

Matthew nodded.

Harry stared at him, looking for any signs of anger. “You don't care?”

“I care – I just understand as well. Those are legit questions. It's been such a short time since your break up – I don't expect things to move as quickly as we're making them to. Even as much as it seems I do. But now, I want to know....” Matthew shrugged, smiling in spite of himself. “Your speculations on God and heaven? Favorite time in history? Thoughts on the Big Bang Theory?”

“What?” Harry burst out laughing, “I'm assuming not the show?”

Matthew laughed along with him, “Both! Talk to me about that. Your dreams – the ones beyond One Direction? Do you want a family? What do certain songs make you feel?”

Harry stared at him in wonder, and after a few seconds nodded, “Okay...”

And Harry and Matthew talked all night. Until Harry settled himself into Matthews chest, still sleepily rattling off his arguments on Burberry vs. Chanel.

“Coats... buttons...” 

Matthew brushed the hair out of Harry's face fondly as the younger man talked in his sleep, pressing a light kiss on his lips before falling to sleep as well.

XXX

[Few Days Later]

Harry shifted nervously in the back of his limousine. He was on his way to the theater where Matthew's NY Premiere for Until You're Gone will be held. He's definitely excited to see the film for the first time – it's gotten wonderful and amazing reviews and all Harry knows about it is from the little bit he heard during Nick's interview with Matt. He's proud of Matthew for doing so well, yet he wishes he could support his boyfriend from the comforts of the bed, in his pajamas, and a big bowl of popcorn. Of course, Harry will never ask for that. He knows he needs to make at least one appearance to one of Matthew's premieres. He wouldn't embarrass Matt like that, nor start rumors on the troubles of their relationship so soon into it. One of the good things about this relationship is the little drama it comes with. Harry is finding it to be to good to be true, though. He's getting everything he's ever wanted, yet finds that there is something missing. Something that's plaguing him and making his heart heavy and void.

This will be the second time he is out in public, but this time it feels a lot more open and risky. Harry looked down to glance at his wrist for the 12th time, sighing in relief when not even he could see the scars anymore. The scars that were once visible for anyone to see were now hidden behind an expensive Cartier watch and a beautiful tattoo of the word 'ALIVE' in calligraphy – that is if you can first see past the sleeves of his suit jacket.

Harry glanced out the window, seeing the crowds of fans getting bigger and bigger. He must be here already – now all he has to do is wait for it to be his turn to get out of the car. They have to prepare the security around the vehicle and arrange the staff around the car door to lead him to the right direction once he gets out. Jack is going to be along side him the whole time, but unfortunately Jane is back in London doing a few much needed business work for him. 

In his head, he went over the procedures for tonight, not wanting to mess anything up. This wasn't his premiere and he didn't have four other boys to depend on for directions anymore. He had to arrive, take some pictures, do at least one interview by himself, sign autographs and take pictures with fans if he wanted. Then he had to meet Matthew at Point B, a designated area somewhere in the middle where the actor will then take pictures with his equally famous boyfriend, Harry.

Suddenly, Harry's phone started vibrating like crazy. Pulling it out of his pocket, he stared warily as he started receiving texts from Niall, about a dozen back to back. He is hesitant to look at them, mostly because he's been ignoring almost everyone, especially after Louis retweeted that Larry shipper. Twitter literally exploded after that and Harry is unwilling to find out what else did Louis do to instigate the fans into fighting again. 

He stares, wide eyed, down at his screen, watching as texts from Liam, Zayn, and even Jane start joining Niall's. All of a sudden his phone starts ringing, Richard from management calling him. 

“What?” Harry whispered in confusion. Feeling the limo finally pull up at the red carpet, Harry realizes he has no time to do much of anything at the moment. Someone is literally about to open up his door in about 5 seconds, so he shuts off his phone, not wanting to deal with any drama while he is about to make an appearance in front of about a hundred cameras, and stuffs it into his pocket.

Taking a deep breath, he steps out of the limousine and is instantly met with dozens of flashing lights.

“Harry, Harry over here!”

“Harry!”

“Harry, is Larry real?!”

What? Harry froze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to happen.... uh uh ;)


	9. Ready To Run

[A Little Bit Earlier]

“Now, the moment we've all been waiting for, give a nice round of applause for the the biggest boy band on earth, One Direction!” Everyone in the audience shrieked and stood to attention as four boys walked from backstage to the main stage. “Big welcome to Liam, Niall, Zayn, and Louis!” Jonathan rose up to greet each one of the four members, giving a hearty shake to each hand, in perfect view of the cameras currently videotaping them live.

“Hello!” Liam greeted cheerfully, sitting down on the couch, closest to the interviewer. The other members mumbled their greeting a bit more halfheartedly, Louis not saying anything at all besides a small wave and smile. He really didn't want to be here so early in the morning, still recovering from the hangover from hell and running on no sleep. He had big, dark bags under his eyes, long, matted hair, and a sort of lethargic attitude about him that Lou just could not even begin to fix with the 10 minutes of prep time she's been given, all due to Louis' tardiness today. The other three bandmates just gave him a wide amount of space, not wanting to annoy him so much and knowing that after Orlando Louis really wasn't in any mood to talk to anyone. It didn't help that Louis has been fairly easy to anger lately, from yelling at employees who didn't do their jobs right, in his opinion, and even sneering at fans if they got to close to him. 

Louis came to the interview though, for the reason that he finally knew what he had to do. A sort of epiphany that only happens when your staring blankly at the shower wall with a pounding headache and a cold, empty house. The silence was always deafening to his ears but Louis has refused to do anything besides what was required of him these past few weeks. It was a routine for Zayn to wake him up, drag him to whatever event or interview they had to do, and stare blankly at everyone who tries to talk to him. 

Unbeknownst to everyone, Louis wasn't depressed or whatever bull they thought he was in, just fighting with himself on questions that needed answers. How to win Harry back was always the goal, but now it's if he's willing to do what needs to be done. If he's ready to do what Harry needs from him. 

Can he do this? To himself and Harry? Can he do what he wants to do to Harry and James so badly? Is he that much of a conniving asshole too?

Yes. Yes he is. He's not fucking Prince Charming or a sad dumped guy who just see's the love of his life drive off into the sunset with someone else. He's the type of guy to make sure to pop those damn tires or make sure to hide the keys... or dammit anything. If he's done everything he could and Harry still wants Matthew, still chooses Matthew... then at least he tried his goddamn best.

Because he loves Harry with all his heart, and he knows, he feels it in his bones, that Harry still loves him back as well.

Nestled between Niall and Zayn, Louis looked over at their interviewer. Fake smile? Check. Knock-off designer shoes? Check. Smell of self-disappointment and contempt? Check. Louis knows this is the interviewers definition of failure. Probably achieved a degree from a good, prestigious University, and graduated dreaming of reporting news about Politics, foreign affiliations, or about civil protests erupting across some country or another. Instead he's here, running a low-level entertainment show interviewing a boy band he most likely thinks won't last longer than the rest of President Obama's presidency. 

Louis finds it all fucking hilarious.

The interviewer, Jonathan, well Louis thinks that's his name, smiles widely, showing off his too-white teeth. “Well, hello boys! I hear a big congratulations is in order! FOUR is currently at #1 – the only band to ever have all first four albums debut at #1 actually!”

The crowd cheered loudly.

Jonathan blinked in exaggeration at the crowds eagerness in amazement, “Wow! This is something, definitely doesn’t happen to anyone.”

Liam spoke up first, smiling his thanks to the crowd, “Yeah, it's pretty amazing. We literally cannot believe it. But it's all because of the fans really. These guys here!” He waved his arm to the fans, inciting another roar of yells.

Laughing, Jonathan continued, “Now, One Direction has been a four-boys group this past couple of weeks. Your fifth member, Harry Styles having fallen ill and even having to be hospitalized earlier this month! Just wanted to say I hope he's feeling a lot better, and just how soon will it be until we finally get to see him join you guys again?”

The guys held their breath, each one tense from having to resist the urge to look at Louis for his reaction. Louis just stared at Jonathan's receding hairline, gripping his hands into fists.

After a second of realizing they were taking too long to answer a question they were programmed to answer even in their sleep, Niall spoke up, “Yea, he has been really sick, but was released about a week ago from the hospital. He was on bed rest for a while, but he's due to be joining us any day now.” Cue the reassuring smile.

Louis swallowed, looking over the crowd of teenage girls literally sitting at the edges of their seats, most of them looking at him for any sort of reaction. Most likely Larry shippers looking for “proofs” - he's used to this, although now it really doesn't bother him as much as it did before. Before they were just girls out to undue stories carved out for their protection, now their looking for something, anything, to indicate their “ship” is still going on strong. A common goal they both have at the moment, actually.

His head hurt, his heart hurt, he hasn't eaten since yesterday morning, although he still felt no desire to eat, and now the interviewer decides to mention Harry. Not unlike every single interview they've had so far, though.

And sticking to the pattern of every interview they've had so far, also comes mentions of Matthew James.

“But he does seem to look better now, doesn't he? He was out shopping on Thanksgiving Day in New York with Matthew James just a few days ago?”

“Are you asking or are you telling us?” Louis spit out, a too tight of a smile stretched across his unshaven face. He ignores the small pinch Zayn gives him on his back and the way management are completely face-palming themselves right now. Well, actually that is pretty amusing to him. Everyone was waiting for him to say something, so why not give it to them? So far he's always had a sarcastic comment to say after someone mentions James, and it's no different now. He hates, HATES, the mention of James. Something the media has picked up on very eagerly. His PR management have tried countless of times to lecture him on the importance of keeping up a friendly face towards the topic of 'Hatthew' but, hell no, he wasn't going to play nice for the sake of Modest ranking in more publicity over that couple.

“Oh, yea! I saw those on twitter!” Liam spoke up loudly, shifting his weight and gaining the attention of everyone in the room. Pointedly ignoring Louis' comment, and therefore leading the example for everyone to follow, he asked Niall, “Didn't you just speak to him?”

Niall raised his eyebrows at Liam, but went along with the lie almost brilliantly. “Yea! He was just celebrating the hols over there in America and is actually pretty excited to come back to work! Says it's pretty boring to be cooped up in bed all day.”

“Yea, must be a drastic change from the non-stop touring you guys did this past year. Which literally ended a couple months ago, and yet now you guys announced the upcoming tour?”

Niall nodded, “Yupp. It's called “On The Road Again”... 'cuz you know, we're on the road again.”

Jonathan laughed, “Clever that.”

Louis rolled his eyes. It's one of the jokes that gets recycled in every single interview, and the interviewers swallow it up every time.

“Well, we wish Harry a speedy recovery and hope he'll joining Once Direction soon.” Jonathan said in sympathy. Louis doubted it was real. The again, he doesn't know of he could say the same sentence and sound sincere as well. He'll find it hard to look at Harry after Orlando. But then again, he needs to see those sparkly green eyes again, in person.

Liam answered the comment with a smile, “Yea, me too! Wish he was here right now!”

“Then he could be here answering your questions too Jonathan!” Niall added.

Jonathan laughed, “Well since he's not here, you guys can spill the beans! He will never know. How does the band actually feel about his boyfriend? Do they get the 1D stamp of approval?”

Louis pursed his lips. Stamp of approval? Really now, this interviewer is just dying to get a reaction out of him. Well in just a little while more...

“Well...” Of course Niall answers, “You know, we never really say much on the whole boyfriend or girlfriend part of our lives. If that person makes your best mate happy, then good on them! That's all that’s important really.”

Liam nodded, “Yea, definitely. Like when I started dating Sophia, the boys all just accepted her and liked her from the get go because they trusted me and saw how much I enjoyed being with her. It's really like that all the time.”

“That's sweet. So no asking for favors to premieres or an introduction to Jennifer Lawrence? Or is it too soon?”

Niall laughed, “Oh no, I want a meeting ASAP!”

The rest of the boys laughed along side Niall, except of course Louis who just raised his eyebrows.

“Now, Louis... I have a very serious question to ask you.” 

Louis just inclined his head with raised eyebrows.

“Weeks ago, you were seen with bruises on your face...” Louis frowned, knowing where this was going. He's not blind, nor deaf, to all the gossip said about him. He knows most people have connected the dots and assumes it was Harry and him fighting. It was the truth but there's a lot more to it. These people deserve the truth, but not the ones that still hurt Louis to even remember, let alone explain.

Jonathan continued on, “We were wondering if there's any truth to the Larry Stylinson feud?”

Louis snorted, finding all this hilarious. Trust modest to ban questions on Larry as a romance but let these questions through. “Feud? First, everyone thought we were a couple,” (He can practically see steam coming out of Richard's ears but hey, technically, Jonathan brought it up first.) “And now they think we hate each other.”

Jonathan pressed on, “So it's not true?”

Louis grit his teeth, “No, never.”

Liam spoke up quickly, “That's just ridiculous. Louis and Harry are friends! Just like we all are. Their just stupid stories people come up with because their bored or something.”

Jonathan continued on, ignoring Niall's glare, and Zayn's sigh, looking down at his cue cards. “And weeks ago you lashed out at an article which insinuated you might be... homosexual.” He paused for an added effect, making Louis narrow his eyes in disgust. Really? “And what do you say about the people saying you're a homophobe and-”

“And what?” Louis scoffed and scowled at the man, anger jetting through every nerve of his body. The boys turned to him wide-eyed and scared at what his next words could be. Yea, they should be. “That I hate Harry because he's gay? Kicked him out of the band? I hate gays?!” Louis gave a mirthless laugh. “That's absolute shit. I'm gay as well, so that just doesn’t even make sense!”

The interviewer stared at him for a second open-mouthed, along with everyone else in the room, wondering if he even knew what he just said. From the corner of his eye, he saw their team scrambling with their phones, one of them yelling at the producers to cut to a commercial. All of the boys – all three of them – were staring at him in disbelief. He could have sworn a girl from the crowd yelled out “Larry!”, while a couple others burst into tears. The rest stayed silent waiting for what going to happen next. Never put it past Louis to make a joke like this in front of a live streaming camera, because... well he's done it before. Years ago. 

Little do they know, he's not about to take it back. Louis just continues to ignore the probing stares and stays quiet.

“Um...” Jonathan turned to the people behind the camera, not knowing how to proceed with this. Questions that should follow are definitely blacklisted topics, so should he.... Jonathan looks lost at what to do next and so do the boys.

“Mate?” Liam asked, but Louis was just staring at the camera wondering if Harry was watching.

The interviewer happily took the cue from his producer to keep going, obviously taking advantage of the moment of chaos behind cameras. “So... since you're gay as well, and with Harry's coming out a couple weeks back, there is definitely no feud then. How about any former romance between you two? What about you're supposed girlfriend? Why state that you're straight on twitter just a few weeks ago when-”

Liam turned to Jonathan, shocked at his blatant display of ambition. This interview is probably climbing in views by the hundreds. “Woah! Slow down there, will you?!” 

Jonathan opened his mouth to say something but the instruction to announce a commercial break was finally coming from his earpiece. He snapped his neck to Camera A and smiled broadly. “Um, okay. We'll be right back everybody, stay tuned for more from One Direction.”

The crowd stayed silent.

As soon as the producer gave a thumbs that they were on break, Louis stood up from the couch and made a beeline backstage.

“Louis!” Bloomfield yelled. “Louis!” The heavy man ran after him, with the rest of his team behind him, and the boys jumping up from their seat to go after him as well.

It must have been quite the sight. Their team, along with the boys of One Direction, all rushed to the dressing room where Bloomfield was banging on the door. “Louis, open up, right now!!... God dammit!” He yelled, red in the face and spit flying everywhere.

Richard started banging on the door as well, “Tomlinson, I swear to god! Open up!” He stopped for a moment to breathe in deeply, “That little shit...”

Zayn scowled and turned to him, “Excuse me?! Say that shit one more time!” He stepped up to the middle-aged man, glaring down at him.

Liam pulled Zayn back by his shirt, “Now is not the time.” He turned to the door and called out, “Louis? It's Liam. Open up, please?”

Niall stood a little bit to the side, taking out his phone. Harry will not believe what just happened...

Alberto, Louis bodyguard, stepped forward, “Excuse me everyone?” Everyone took a step back quickly, and let them man slam his body to the door, opening it up with one loud crack and bang.

Will Bloomfield sped passed him without so much as even a thank you. “Louis Tomlinson!”

The rest of their team marched inside, angry beyond belief as well.

“You do not just out yourself in front of a national television show. A live one at that!”

Louis scoffed, sitting on the make up chair, facing away from them all. He didn’t say anything, though.

“There are steps for these things! Look at Harry! He came out perfectly! We eased the media into knowing slowly! With a little comment here and there! Not like this! For god's sake, you haven’t even broken up with your girlfriend!”

Louis looked at them from the reflection of the mirror. “Well, it's done. I'm out. What are you going to do? Can't undo this one with a paycheck, now can we Will?

Will stepped forward, the veins on his neck popping out from the strain of not yelling at Louis. “Fine,” He spit out, glaring at Louis through the narrowed slits of his eyes. “Consider this your coming out interview.”

Everyone in the room stayed silent, not moving a single inch and holding their breath. 

Louis, on the other hand, sighed in relief. He was in massive, massive trouble with Modest, probably breaking a number of contracts. But this is something he had to do. 

“Um, I'm sorry to interrupt...” everyone turned to the scared, young production assistant standing by the doorway, “But we go live in exactly three minutes. Just letting you know...” He finished off awkwardly, slowly edging himself out of the tense room.

Louis stood up on his chair and let himself be double checked over by Lou. He let the hairstylist dab a bit of powder on his face and fix up his hairstyle, as much as it could with the poor quality of it at the moment. He saw Modest go and start talking heatedly to the production crew of the show, whom all just walked in a couple seconds ago. Probably setting up a new list of “Taboo” Topics. He wonders if Larry Stylinson is still one of them.

Lou finished up and put down the hairspray, drawing him in for a big tight hug. “Good luck, Louis.”

He sighed shakily and turned to his sister Lottie, also known as Lou's intern since this summer. She smiled and hugged him as well. “We're proud of you. Mum is so so proud of you.”

Louis swallowed down the tears that were welling up. “You talked to her?”

Lottie nodded and walked with him towards the main stage again. “Yea, I talked to mum. The other boys I think were trying to get a hold of... Harry, but he wasn't answering his phone.” She pursed her lips at the thought of Harry. As expected, Louis angry and grief stricken cries to Lottie after the Orlando fight caused a rift between his family and Harry.

Louis knew she didn't really like Harry too much at the moment, not after finding out about the fight in Orlando, and Harry breaking up with her brother, and moving on to a new boyfriend not a day later.

“What does that say about the years you two spent together?” Lottie argued back in her hotel room back in Orlando, holding a crying Louis against her and a bag of ice to his face, “He doesn't deserve your tears after what he did to you, Louis! Look at you, your lip hasn’t stopped bleeding! God, what if you need stitches? How do we explain this to mum? He hit you!”

“I hit him back...” Louis mumbled against the bag tearfully.

“So?! Who started it?!

Louis shrugged, honestly not having a single clue. It didn't even matter to him. They both hurt each other irreparably.

Lottie shook her head, even angrier, “Louis you deserve better! He didn't even let you explain yourself before jetting off to who knows where! Well if he wants to run away and not be a man and face his problems then so be it! You're much stronger than this, Louis.” She ended softly, wiping his tears gently. “Don't let anyone tell you when you have to come out. You do things at your own pace, and you face everyone tomorrow morning with your head held high, okay boobear?”

Louis just looked at her quietly, before bursting into tears. He cried himself to sleep that night on her shoulder, relying on the support of his family. The sleepless nights after that were a lot less comforting, wanting to be in the arms of Harry and not Lottie.

He knew he should correct his family's opinion on Harry, but could never get a single word out in his defense. His family didn't want to hear of Harry at the moment, and found it amusing to talk shit about Harry and Matthew. Not anything at all hateful, but little things that angered them. Like how out of character it was that Harry just upped and moved on after a day, how Matthew was no one compared to Louis (He kind of enjoyed hearing that, though), how cruel it was for Harry to hit him and hurt him physically, and all the shit Harry had told him during it. 

He knew his mum still had a place for Harry in her heart, so did Lottie. Just that their biased and love Louis much more. They chose his side, even when he really didn't want them to at all. Not to mention, he also had to deal with a very angry Anne calling him a week later, an unfollow from Gemma on every social network, and a couple Harry-obsessed fangirls throwing shit at him. Reminds him of the days when he was a freshmen in school, bullied for acting gay and flamboyant. He remembers the vulgar jeers, the lube that coated his locker everyday, the isolation from everyone during gym class...

Shaking his thoughts, he made his way to the main stage. It wasn't like last time. He wasn't a kid aspiring to become a singer one day and denying his sexuality anymore. He was a goddamn successful artists, with millions to his name, thank you very much.

If someone wants to call him a fag, let himself just dry his tears with a couple hundreds first. Oh how he enjoy seeing his fans photo-shopped pictures sometimes.

Louis sat on the coach a long with the other boys. His hands were shaking, but he had to do this. He was ready. He wasn't a child that is going to let himself get bullied and shammed for being who he is anymore .He refuses to continue fitting into the mold everyone wants him to be anymore.

He's Louis Tomlinson – flamboyant as hell, sassy, and Harry Styles ex-boyfriend.

Louis swallowed and watched as Jonathan's stylists finished prepping him. The diva apparently took a lot longer than they did. 

Turing to him, Jonathan grinned in excitement, “So you ready Louis?”

He rolled his eyes. What a fake. “Let's be honest, this is probably the highlight of your career, so you're welcome.” He commented, throwing him him a raised eyebrow and a look of disdain. 

The interviewer frowned but kept quiet.

“Louis..” Liam whispered from right next to him, making the smaller lad turn to him. “We're really proud of you, you know. And we're with you all the way.”

He felt Niall squeeze his knee. Huh, and here he thought the blonde hated his guts. Nodding to them, he tried to compose himself. There was time to get sentimental later. This interview was far from over.

He stared at the production manager countdown with his fingers the time left for them to go live.

5

Despite what he knows everybody's thinking, he's not doing this for Harry, event though Harry was definitely his wake up call. He just can't do this anymore, he can't do this for the rest of his life, let alone his career. Louis might just end up losing everything, including himself, if he continues this lie.

4

He'll do anything to have Harry back, though. And he can't properly win him back from way back in the closet while Harry's out and proud. Harry who was out holding hands with Matthew in NYC a few days ago for Thanksgiving. Harry, who Louis knows, also loves rubbing it in his face that he's in a loved up, open relationship on Instagram and Twitter.

3

It's also no huge secret between the boys that Harry's management’s, and let's be honest, the whole industry's, favorite. They don't mind. Honestly, better him than them. They pity the amount of rumors and harassment the younger one gets. In Louis' mind harry is just so lovely and talented that he deserves all the attention he receives. Furthermore, he really can use it to his advantage now more than ever. You see, when you have a member with 26 million followers (millions more flocked to him after his coming out and relationship with James) you try to avoid any scandals that may be associated with him. Harry also has a sense of responsibility avoiding such circumstances. And if that circumstance happens to be Matthew James... 

2

It's taken him weeks to gain the courage to do this, and despite his fear, he is now ready to do this. Louis is now out of the closet, and he's damn well ready to openly fight for Harry.

1

“And we're back!...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter and expect a lot more from Louis now ;) Comments are always wonderful!


	10. When It Rains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo... *hides under a table* hiii.... I'm alive!
> 
> So sorry i haven't updated in so long. I wanted to write just... *sigh*.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your comments though! At this point Harry is just a mess and a ball of questions. Wasn't too sure about this chapter but ehh.. I held out long enough.

Harry tried to keep his panic at bay as more and more photographers started to make their way over to him, noticing his arrival. He barely moved a step away from the limousine and the paparazzi were already testing the patience of the security and the extent their bodies can stretch past the metal barriers.

“Harry, look over here! What's the truth about Larry?”

He didn't really know who said that, but snapped his head to the direction of the voice.

“Harry, over here!”

“How's Louis feeling over you being here?”

“Harry, smile over here!”

“Are you leaving One Direction?”

Harry stayed silent, standing tall and still as questions were being thrown from left and right. He hated these things. They made him feel attacked and flustered, more so right now since they started shouting out things about Louis and Larry Stylinson. He hasn't had those questions thrown at him in years, what's starting them up again? He could have sworn the fan base behind Larry decreased dramatically after Eleanor's debut as Louis girlfriend, the bullshit tweet, the “I'm straight” tweet, and what was left most definitely started to sway after him and Matthew came out as a couple. 

Confused, Harry was led to a small huddle of professional looking men and woman near the backdrop full of the sponsor’s names.

“Hello Harry, such a great pleasure to meet you! My names Carla, and I'm in charge of your appearance this evening.” A petite redhead smiled at him and shook his hand at a flying pace.

Harry nodded and continued to look around as a make up artist came to apply some powder on his face. It definitely felt strange not having Lou do this for him, he didn't know if he liked a stranger touching his face so much. Or his hair.

Carla continued talking to him, half paying attention to him and the other half on whoever was speaking through her ear piece. “Okay, we're going to move you over here for some pictures and then start with an interview a little further down.”

“Did they go through authorization with my team?” Harry asked, but she was already yelling at the mic clipped on her suit.

“What do yo mean he's still with E!News?! He should be on his way to MovieFone! Harry's making his way down now!” Carla hissed, not hearing his question and instead gently pushing him past the closed off area and back towards the flashing lights. Shrugging, Harry followed the directions, standing on the first tapped X on the floor.

He plasters on a small smirk, flicking his eyes to random photographers. The rest of the night was a blur of flashing lights and faces asking for pictures and autographs. He tried doing as many as possible, but was ushered away by Carla when he was taking too long on one section.

And as planned, when thrust in front of a huge recording camera, Harry just smiled wildly and waved, “Hiii!”

The interviewer, a pretty middle aged blonde, with breasts too round and perky to be real, giggled obnoxiously. She placed herself next to Harry and in direct view of the camera. “Hello Harry! How are you?”

“Good, good. And you?”

“Oh, I'm doing great. How does it feel being here?”

“Oh, it's amazing! Yea... it's great.” Harry finished off awkwardly with a smile. He had no idea what else to say honestly.

“Have you seen the movie? Matthew looks spectacularly in it!”

Harry cleared his throat, “Actually this will be my first time watching, but I heard he did a great job. We'll see!”

She laughed loudly, “Uh-uh. He has yet to get the boyfriends approval yet. I'm sure you'll give him a long review of his movie afterward.”

Harry laughed and nodded, otherwise staying silent. The interviewer (Has she introduced herself?), looked behind the camera to a guy with a clipboard and held his stare for a slight second, only long enough for Harry to get a heavy sense of dread at the pit of his stomach.

“So Harry, your new tour is starting soon. How does Matthew feel about you being away for so long?”

“Oh... uh, well I’ll be away for only a month before he.. he is scheduled to start filming his new movie. So he'll be pretty busy as well.”

“And when he's done filming I'm sure he'll be popping by a few times, right?”

“Oh, yea 'course.” Harry smiled shakily. He has honestly not thought that far ahead for Matthew and him, but if they do last that long... he supposes he'll have him with him a few times. Matthew isn’t like Sophia or Gemma, he doesn’t have a regular “normal” job to go home to. Nor is he like Perrie, where touring takes up most of the year, as it it is for Zayn. Matthew will eventually have to be with them on tour.

The interviewer gave him a small smile before continuing. “And now that there's another gay person in the band does that worry Matthew? Is he a jealous boyfriend?”

Harry blinked and stopped. What did she ask? “What?”

“Well, with another band member coming out of the closet, does that make Matthew worried? 

Harry furrowed his eyebrows and looked to the side, giving Ed, another one of Harry's security team, a questioning look. And where was Carla? “Um, well I'm... the only gay person in... One Direction?” Harry gave her a strange look.

“Well then, you my friend, have been left out of the loop. Might be because you were sick for most of this month, am I right?”

“Uhh... yea.”

“So, today, a mere half hour ago, Louis Tomlinson announced to the world that he was also gay.”

Harry just stared at her, not saying a word. He had no idea if what she was saying was true or not, he wasn’t told a thing, and even if it was true where was she going with this? What is he allowed to say? Harry's heart and brain was working over time at the moment, trying to desperately think of something and take a grasp of the situation. His hands were getting sweaty and he couldn’t hear the crowd anymore over the hammering in his chest.

The interviewer just continued thankfully, “...so that has your fans racing for answers. Especially that side of your fandom that believes you to be in a relationship with Louis. Was there any truth to that? Were you and Louis... you know, ever involved?”

These questions weren’t approved. Harry's blood ran cold and he desperately wanted to run. He knows management stopped trying to get Harry to deny Larry for a while now, they didn’t need this from him. He has no idea what to say, “yes they were in the past but not anymore”? What if shes lying? Should he outright say “no, never”? Liam's not next to him to divert the conversation once again.

“Um...” Harry looked to the camera and then back at her, “I'm not positive I know what you're talking about. I was actually not told any of this.” He tried laughing self-deprecatingly, but most likely just came across as nervous and scared. Which is the damn truth. “Me and Louis have always been best friends. Still are very close friends, we all are. I actually haven’t talked to him since I left the hospital...”

If hospital is code for Orlando, then technically he did not lie. Harry would have made the boys and their media trainer proud. He didn’t even answer the question, a fact she picked up on by the slight raise of her eyebrows, but he gave her no choice but to take the bait into the next topic – his hospitalization.

“And how are you feeling now? Ready to get back to work?”

“Yupp!” Harry cleared his throat and tried to get his thoughts to stop racing long enough to think of an answer. “Excited to start rehearsals and get to see my boys again.”

“There are people that say you were in the hospital because you got into it with Louis?”

“That.. we fought?” Harry asked stupidly.

She nodded and stayed silent.

“Oh, well me and Louis... never fought so no. I wasn’t in the hospital because of him.” Harry cleared his throat and shuffled a bit. He wasn’t in the hospital at all but they didn’t know that.

“And it wasn’t because of drugs? Eating disorders?”

Harry's eyes widened, “Uh.. no, no. None of that.” Those weren’t it, but Harry came off as not too sure of himself.

“Okay, well thank you so much for your time! We wish you and Matthew good luck, what a beautiful pair you two make by the way, and hope to see you soon!”

Harry gave one last forceful smile and a nod, quickly turning around and marching towards Jack, who was talking on the phone with someone, dodging crew members and managers, and other attendees in the process. He might have come off as rude a couple of times, ignoring the few people who wanted to stop him, but for the first time Harry doesn’t even think twice of side-stepping them and continuing on. He just needs Jack, he needs … he needs Louis and answers... and for god sakes why is Jack so far from him?

As he finally approaches the bulky figure of his head of security, he could just hear the end of his conversation, his body hunched and a finger pressed to his other ear, trying to listen above the noise of the movie premiere.

“...Okay, okay I'm going to show him now. I know, Jane, I know, I'll tell him. Now, bye!” Jack looked up to see Harry's panicked face and held up a hand. He quickly moved his thumb across the screen of his phone, and for a few seconds Harry just stood there next to him, wringing his hands together. 

“Jack? What.. what happened? What's going on? The interviewer questioned me about Larry, and Louis, and said something about him... being gay. And drugs! I don’t even know why... and none of those questions should have been approved! How.. who let this happen?” Harry whispered frantically, feeling a panic attack start kicking in. Whats worse is that Harry has no idea how to calm his racing heart, or what to do. He hasn’t had an panic attack since the very beginnings of One Direction, mostly centered around his X Factor days. Back then he had Louis. Louis who would sit with him on the ground, cuddle him, and whisper sweet nothings and comforts in his ear. He was always his person, the one to calm him, reassure him, and massage his back as he threw up the contents of his stomach before a performance.

Harry felt tears pool in his eyes and his breathing become even more shallower. Jack quietly cursed under his breath and ushered him aside, blocking him from everyone's point of view and flagging down Harry's pseudo team for the night. 

“What is going on?” Carla scowled, not appreciating Harry's red carpet detour. Her face changed as soon as she caught sight of Harry's distress. “Oh... oh sweetie. What happened?”

“Not now... Harry if you want answers, watch this.” Jack placed his phone into Harry's trembling hands, a video of the boys coming onto an interview currently playing. “Someone go get him a cup of water. Now!” He glared at a random assistant beside Carla, who immediately ran off. Jack looked towards the journalists, seeing a few of them scribbling down furiously what they were seeing. He turned to glare at the red head, who was rubbing Harry's back sympathetically. “And you! I don’t know who authorized Harry's interview, or if someone even gave them notice of his blacklist of questions, but someone will be answering to what happened today.”

Carla gasped, finally getting a picture of the situation. “I can assure you we did everything by the book. Sent in the paperwork and called his team. I'm sorry if there was a complication, but I cannot offer any explanations. Did.. did they ask something that wasn’t allowed?”

Jack sent her a look, “What do you think.”

Meanwhile, Harry was staring in confusion at the small screen of Jacks phone. He was watching as the interviewer attacked Louis with questions on a supposed feud between them. 

“And what do you say about the people saying you're a homophobe and-”

He took in Louis appearance and bit his lip in worry. Louis looked tired, much too skinny... and god, he looks so sad. He did this. Harry felt sick to his stomach, realizing that he's never spent this much time away from Louis. 

“And what?” Harry saw Louis scoff and glare at the man. Oh no... “That I hate Harry because he's gay? Kicked him out of the band? I hate gays?!” Louis laughed, and Harry thought he looked a bit crazy right then. “That's absolute shit. I'm gay as well, so that just doesn’t even make sense!”

Harry gave a chocking sound, pausing the video at the moment Louis announced to the whole world that he was gay. 

Louis came out. Louis just came out.

“Louis came out...” Harry whispered, looking up at Jack still in a daze. 

Jack nodded grimly, and continued looking at him.

“Louis.. just came out. Holy shit.”

Jack's eyes widened at how faint Harry sounded. “Water! Where's that water?” A second later a couple bottles of water found their way over to them. Carla, being the one to get one first, quickly opened one up and gave it to harry carefully, placing a white pill on his palm as he drank.

“Here, sweetie, drink some water and then take that. It will help you.”

Harry took a couple more tentative sips. The idea, he supposes, was that the more he drinks the less he breathes and the less frantic his heart gets? Shaking his head, he gives back the water back after knocking back the pill, hands still shaking.

“How do you feel, Harry? Matthew's been notified, he wants me to take you to him inside immediately, but he also said, if you prefer to go home, there's a car already set to go.”

Harry's red rimmed eyes met Jack's. He knew the muscular man was dying to get him out of here, but he made a promise to be here. As much as he wants to shove that promise where the sun doesn’t shine, he hates having to go back on his word. Besides it's just one movie. This is what he gets for coming to a huge event without any of his bandmates. He can handle fashion shows, those interviews last about 30 seconds and they ask the same thing over and over again. 

Harry took a deep breathe and signaled for Carla to take him to Matthew. They escorted him inside the theater, bypassing all the fans and camera's easily enough, not even batting an eye to mentions of his name, or the word Larry. Some of his fans started chanting it and the yelling was still ringing in his ear long after he made it inside the building.

Matthew had just seen him step into the corridor that leads to the theater before sweeping him into his arms. Harry stiffened but remained in the embrace, not bothering to hug back.

“Harry! Are you okay? What happened?” Matthew whispered in his ear, combing Harry's hair with his fingers, trying to calm him down as well.

Harry just buried his face deeper in his neck. Matthew knows what happened, surely someone already told him.

Pulling back, Matthew held his face close, “I am so sorry for whatever happened. I'm so sorry. Do you want to go home? There's a car out back ready for you.”

Harry shook his head and motioned for the set of doors., “No, please let's just go inside. I'm feeling a lot better.” He fidgeted a bit under Matt's searching look, bothered by the fact that people were starting to look over at them curiously. This was still a movie premiere, panic attack or not, and the hall was filled with different management teams and other celebrities. A journalist or two might still be around as well. “Please, can we just go inside? I did say I wanted to see this movie.”

Matthew nodded and placed his hand on his waist, leading him into the large, opulent theater. They made their way towards the front, Matthew stopping every once in a while to say hello to a couple of people. Harry only started breathing properly when he settled himself into the plush, red seat a few minutes later.

“Harry, I have to go talk to a few people before the movie starts, want anything to eat? Popcorn, soda, candy...” He trailed off his list of suggestions as Harry just shook his head at all of them. He watched Matthew leave, knowing his normal self wouldn’t have thought twice of getting up and socializing along with him.

He wishes he could say he knew what to movie was about but Harry kept coming in and out of his mind at awful times. He paid attention to small bits and parts but was completely incapable of focusing. All he could think about was Louis and if he was alright. What was he doing right now?

Harry broke out of his musings as everyone broke out into applause and the credits began to roll. Trying to hold back his groan, he sat there as people stared at the credits. The thing is with movie premieres is that almost everyone whose names are in the credits will be sitting in this room, so they all stayed. Harry also had to sit and stay while the director, producer and even Matt gave a quick speech filled with gratitude to the audience. 

Harry could have almost cried with relief when about half an hour later he was finally ushered into Matthew's car. Most of the crew would be heading to the after party but Matthew had a flight to catch and Harry had a bed calling to him. Whatever Carla gave him has been making him groggy for the last couple of hours and he's been dying to finally succumb to it.

In the car, Matthew turned to him, softly pushing his hair back. “How are you feeling? What did the interviewer tell you?”

“Can we not talk about it?” Harry looked at him, face devoid of any emotion. “Please?”

Matthew frowned but nodded.

“So do you have everything packed and ready?”

Matthew nodded and looked at everything in the backseat of the car, “Yea, pretty sure everything I need was brought here.”

“Sure you don't want me to go with you tonight?” Harry bit his lip. He wasn’t ready to head back to reality. He was enjoying his little bubble and wanted to delay the inevitable as much as possible.

Thankfully, Matthew shook his head. “No, it's late! You have no reason to lose sleep over this. I'm the one with a mandatory business meeting tomorrow at 9 AM not you. No, you go home, sleep and when you wake up, you can pack your clothes calmly and start heading to the airport. I'll be waiting back in my hotel in London. You get in around 5 in the afternoon?”

“Yea, I think so. Jane made sure I got my ticket and sent me everything...”

Matthew nodded and peered outside the window, noticing they have arrived to Matthew's building. Giving him one last hug, and accepting a kiss on the cheek, Harry climbed out of the car and made his way to the apartment. 

There were so many questions and things happening all at the same time, that Harry really just needed to ignore it all at the moment. He'll deal with everything in the morning. For now, he removes his clothes blindly in the dark as he walks across the apartment and doesn’t stop until he sinks into Matthew's bed. Exhausted and emotionally drained, Harry immediately falls asleep when his head hits the pillow, happy to pretend nothing is wrong and everything is perfectly fine.

That of course, seems to be impossible the next morning, when he's woken up by the sounds of his phone ringing loudly and incessantly.

Groaning, Harry shuffles from under the heavy comforter and reaches out an arm from under to pick up his phone on the bedside counter. After blinking at the bright light from his phone his heart drops. 'Boo' is calling. 

Not only did he never bother to change Louis name on his phone but he also didn't change the contact picture on it. Louis, with a giggling Harry kissing his cheek, is smiling at him from the screen, both oblivious to the pain they will soon have to go through. Swallowing, Harry hovers his finger over the red decline button, before eventually pressing it.

Sitting up, he took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for today. Today he will be heading back to London.

“You ready?” Jack asks, as he holds the door to the car open an hour later, Harry's suitcase in his hand.

Harry just nods silently, avoiding eye contact. No, he's not ready. He wants to stay. Harry is a notorious non-confrontational person. He does not like to confront .. anything, anyone. He will crave his bubble of isolation and his painted portrait of fake contentment as soon as he steps foot on to a plane.

“Hey, that interview from last night, the one that wasn’t approved?”

Harry nodded, looking at Jack with a foot inside the car already.

“Spoke to management and their stopping its release. You can forget about it now.”

Harry's shoulders sagged in relief, “Thank god. I was a mess. If someone saw that, not only will they think me and Louis were still together but they might just think I was a drug addict.”

Jack scrunched his face in confusion, but just closed the door behind Harry, not bothering to ask questions.

Pulling out his phone, he searches up the band's interview from last night. He did only just see half of it. God, what if something else was mentioned after that huge bomb? Did Louis come clean about him and Harry and that's why everyone in the crowd went berserk? No, Matthew would have said something to him. He thinks.

Silently, Harry slid his finger across his phone, fast-forwarding the video to where he left off last night. When he found his spot, he started watching the rest of the interview, scowling angrily as the interviewer began attacking Louis with questions. He noticed the boys looked scandalized as well and everyone kept glancing somewhere off the camera, where he knew very well stood their management team. 

Pursing his lips and tilting his head to the side, Harry could only wonder how much chaos was happening backstage as the interviewer announced a commercial break.

“And we're back!...” The interviewer's smiling face appears not a second later. Harry's thankful he's watching this on Youtube as opposed to live. The minutes spent watching commercials would have driven him insane – and with a bloody lip, as Harry has already bitten his bottom lip swollen and ruby red ever since last night.

“Louis, before commercial break you announced that you were gay to the world. How long have you known?”

Louis took a deep breath and flickered his eyes to the camera. Harry stopped breathing, his mind racing with a hundred different answers. How has management told him to go about this? He's really doing this! Will Harry get mentioned? That is honestly, the most constant question running through his mind. Will Louis mention them? And if he does, in what way?

“Well... it's something that I've always.. struggled with. Um, it's something that was always there but because it seemed too scary and new, I never acknowledged. I was always a person who cared for what people thought of them. I liked having people like me, so I was scared at the idea that people would absolutely hate me.”

“Wow, then it's so brave of you to come on here today and finally come clean. And does you coming out today stem from Harry's own coming out last month?”

There's his name. Harry sat up straighter waiting for the answer and anxious to see how the rest of the interview will proceed. Louis tilted his head and looked off to the side, “Maybe.. in a way, yes. Me and Harry have always been best friends, and seeing him out... and happy. He's always been my rock, my anchor, and he's taught me that being true to myself is key. Especially in a life like ours. Well it definitely gave me a bit of courage and … like, yea I can do that. I'm not gonna die. I can be myself. The fans have stuck by Harry and .. well now I'm asking if they'll stick by me too, you know?” Louis smiled a bit woefully, shrugging his shoulder.

The audience awwed at his little speech and some started yelling out their support. Harry smiled as well, happy that he's getting such positive encouragement. Tears had started to silently fall against his cheek, but Harry just continued watching the small screen almost obsessively.

“Well, we're all definitely sticking by you Louis. Not getting rid of us.” Liam smiled, patting his shoulder.

Harry laughed along with the audience. The rest of the interview went by the same way. Louis stating that he never wanted to ruin the careers of, not only himself, but the four other lads, made him hesitant to want to come out at first and then the fear of receiving hate from his friends and family. He explains that he comes from a very religious family and he always thought too much of what they think. In the end, he doesn’t care what his second-cousins, nor his ex step-grandfather thinks. As long as his sisters and his mother support him, he'll be fine – which, he announces, they do.

Harry's name never pops up again. Nor does Eleanor or Louis_Tomlinson's tweets from before make an appearance. Harry can see management’s hand in all of this, but is thankful for once for their controlling nature. 

Exiting out of the video, he scrolls to the bottom of the screen, clicking on 'View Comments'.

'OMG LARRY!'

'Ok, he's gay. We all knew that. Look at him. He acts gay, talks gay, and dresses gay. Faggot'

'What about Eleanor?!?!?!'

'Wtf?! Do you know how many times I defended him?! Only for him to actually turn out gay! Fuck this, I cant stand people who lie to my face like that'

'Omg poor El! He just kept stringing her along this whole time!'

'Fuck Elounor! Its all about Larry!'

'Can people shut the fuck up, Harry has a boyfriend, he's not going to be with him. Look at Matthew.'

'Excuse you, Louis is hot af. He can date Aiden now! Or Nick. Omg he will look so hot with Zayn!!'

More and more comments said the same thing. Some fought over if Harry will be with him now, others were trying to see who Louis will date now. Most were just shocked and angry. Devoted fans of Eleanor began leaving the fandom and people, who in general could not stand homosexuality, vocalized their anger. Mothers commented on how they could not allow their daughters to look up to people like him and Louis.

Harry avoided Jack's gaze in the rear view mirror as he pocketed his phone and silently cried. 

XXX

“So I assume this is over?”

Louis groaned at the sight of the petite brunette in his living room as soon as he entered the house. He was just coming back from the club, after being dragged there by the boys and his other friends, all wanting to celebrate his coming out. The night consisted of throwing down shots and staring grumpily at the grinding couples on the dance floor. Stan kept trying to convince him to dance with a guy, but Louis knew he couldn’t. He was single, but it's not like he actually liked being single, nor was he going to make things worse for himself. It's why he made sure not to get drunk, and stayed on the borders of tipsy and coherent for most of the night. Fans with access to the VIP section had their phones out not so subtly as well.

Louis, however was feeling the effects of the alcohol more than ever now, and all he wanted was a nice, hot shower and a deep, alcohol-induced, sleep. There was a big, comfy sweater that belonged to Harry practically calling to him from where he's standing and he's dying to just be surrounded by him at the moment. Even if it was just his scent for now.

Eleanor stared at him sternly, arms crossed and hipped cocked to the side. “Well?”

“Well what? And what are you doing here?” Louis sighed and entered the house fully, kicking his shoes off as he went. He needed to remember why on earth did he give this girl a copy of his house key. Oh yea, he couldn’t have her wait outside for him whenever she was waiting for him and, whenever her house was under siege by paps or fans, she took a spare room.

“Just came to pick up a few things I had here in the guest bedroom.” She said pointing to a box at her feet filled with random items, books, some CD's he recognizes from the last time they exchanged music, a couple sweaters, and various items she would buy from her stops with them on tour. Since when did she have so many things here? Louis stared at the box wondering if those things have been here this whole time. He sighed, closing his eyes and feeling sick at the thought of Harry seeing her stuff around the house whenever he cleaned, “Yea, El. It is. I'm-”

“You're what Louis? You're sorry?” Eleanor glared at him tearfully. “That you had to end it or that you gave me absolute no warning at all! Do you know what I went through these last four years being your girlfriend? All the fucking hate, taunts, and absolute abuse? Just so that when you end things it could get worse for me?! Your fans hate me now more than ever! Now that they know I really was a beard this whole time, they just wont fucking leave me alone!”

Louis rolled his eyes, “El, stop. You were compensated more than enough for all of that and you knew what you were getting yourself into. We all knew this had an ending and that it will be with me coming out eventually.”

“I-” El look at him, her eyes shining with hurt. Shutting her mouth abruptly and looking down at her feet, she shook her head and scoffed, “Oh yeah, an income that I can't depend on any more, thanks by the way. I just graduated from Uni! I don’t even know where to begin to start paying off the rest of the tuition?!”

Louis glared at her, “How about a job?! Doesn’t that degree work for something?”

El shook her head, “Whatever. You should have still talked it over with me first.”

“No I did not! El, I care for you and you've been a great friend, but you had nothing to do with this decision. It was mine and mine alone to think about, and I've made it. I'm sorry for throwing it at you without warning, but in all fairness, it's something I have been debating with myself up until the very last minute.”

“Well now that you settled your little sexuality crisis, what are you going to do now?”

Louis scowled, “Not a sexuality crisis. I've always known I was gay.”

Eleanor rolled her eyes, “Okay, so you were just a closet case. Is there much of a difference?”

Louis sighed, walking over to the couch, “Don't know... I suppose I'm still scared, now more than ever. Haven’t even glanced online to see what they could be saying.”

Eleanor grimaced. “Yea, I wouldn’t go on for a while. I'm not the only one mad at having little to no warning. But you'll be happy to know that your management called me. Just one last job before I’m set free.”

Louis fought the urge to groan, and instead turned on his television. “Oh yea? What did they say?”

Eleanor sat down next to him, looking at him without the anger and hurt that she had earlier. She can't stay mad at him for long, bills and stupid hate on twitter can wait until later to be dealt with. Louis was her friend, even if she hoped that over time he would see her as more. She was starting to think he was, up until Harry broke up with him and left Louis. Since then, he's kept his distance, giving El a pretty good reminder of her place. “Just to be your friend, Louis.” She swallowed the knot forming in her throat. “That me and you have been over for a while now. Just kept close contact due to us all being close friends and all. I apparently helped you... discover yourself.” She rolled her eyes. “In other words I turned you gay and adopted you as a gay best friend.”

Louis laughed, “The fuck? Hell no. No. Don't you dare think you can take me shopping or drag me to another fashion show. That one time was bloody torture, it was.”

Eleanor giggled. “Hey, it wasn’t that bad. We had a blast making fun of the models. Though, I'm extremely positive you'll be singing a different story if it was Harry asking you to one now.”

Louis just smiled softly and looked away. He would love to go to a fashion show with Harry. Not because he'll enjoy it, because honestly their just incredibly boring to Louis, but the fact that he'll be with Harry... open and free to show affection to one another. He'll get to witness the serious observation that Harry casts on the clothes, and the happy glint in his eyes when he looks over and catches Louis eyes. He swallowed as he forced himself to face reality, “Yea, you're right about that... then again, Harry isn’t exactly available to go with me on dates anymore.”

She grimaced and patted his back. “Hey, don’t worry. He'll come back. You two love each other. And if he doesn’t... well it's his loss. He'll be an idiot not to realize what a great guy you are.”

Louis turns to the side and looks at her, seeing tears pool slowly in her brown eyes. “Thanks, El.” He whispers.

She nodded, blinking rapidly. “Don't beat yourself up either. You were a great boyfriend. I would know.” She laughs a bit.

Louis frowns a bit. He wasn’t a great boyfriend then, if she, personally, knew as well. “El... you did know... El, I know you were shocked about my coming out, but were you really that surprised? You did know this was fake, right? The dates and stuff...”

El paused and sniffed, not meeting his eyes. “I knew. Of course, I knew. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t hope it was.”

“El...”

She laughs, a tear escaping her eye and wiping her nose at the back of her hand, “I'm just an idiot. A bloody idiot! To think you would ever leave Harry.” She smiled sadly. “I fell for a taken man, I knew I would be the one to be disappointed don't worry. I am sorry, for ever thinking I could have chance.” 

Louis frowned, not knowing what to say. Yes, she was an idiot, but he knew all too well you can't control who you fall for. It just happens. “Hey...” He nudged her shoulder with his. “It's okay. It is what it is. I'm sorry if I ever gave the wrong impression. I never wanted to hurt you. You really are a great friend.”

She smiled softly, “And are we still friends?”

He returned her smiled and nodded. “Still friends.” Wrapping his arms around her, he hugged her tightly. “As for the rest of the tuition, don't worry about it okay?”

Feeling hot tears hit his shoulders, he hugged tighter as she whispered her thanks. 

Leaning back, she wiped her tears and started getting up. “Take care of yourself, Louis.” Before she lost her courage, she leaned it to give him a small peck on the lips and then walked away with her box.

Louis just watched her go and muttered a goodbye. After a few minutes of staring at his closed door, he shook his head and wiped his mouth. As much as he feels sorry for her and understands her need to do it, he couldn’t help but feel angry and offended at her goodbye kiss. He cant say his last kiss was Harry now and that bothers him incredibly. 

Getting up, he walked over to the bar set up in the corner of the room. He poured himself about three fingers of whiskey and quickly swallowed it down in one go. 

Just as he refilled his glass, his phone buzzed. Pulling it out he found a single text from Zayn.

Zayn:  
It should all be set now. Just waiting for Harry to see it. 

Nodding, Louis stumbles over to the bedroom. Hopefully, by this time tomorrow, he won't be going to bed in an empty house.

XXX

Harry is still staring at his phone. He's seen Louis' interview about a dozen times, pinpointing every telling sign that he knows about how Louis is feeling. He knows Louis like the back of his hand, the tightening of his knuckles, the pursed lips, stiff back, and when he's blinking a bit more than usual it can only mean he's just about holding it together. Harry paused the video on the image of Louis and just looked at him. Louis blue eyes gazed into Harry's, almost knowing he was watching this right now. 

“Excuse me sir?”

Harry looked up to see a nervous flight attendant point at his phone.

“Electronics have to be off during take offs and landing, you may turn it back on once the pilot announces that we're good. I'm sorry sir, but if you can just...”

Harry just nodded, getting the message. He doesn't know much about technology and won't even try to understand how a cellphone can disrupt the airplane's radar anyhow, but turned off his phone anyways. Normally, he just stuffs it out of view until its safe to take out again, but maybe this once, it's best to stay off it for the whole flight. 

Besides, it's raining, Harry thinks as he looks out of his small window. This plane isn’t going down because of him and his need to keep watching Louis come out. Even though it's already deeply ingrained in his head and the words won't stop playing over and over again.

“.... I'm gay as well so...”

Harry sighed and closed his eyes, burying his face into his hands, half of him wanting to laugh and the other half wanting to burst out crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh nervous for the next hapter >.


	11. It Pours

“ _Louis!”_

 

“Louis!”

 

“LOUIS!”

 

Louis was startled out of his reverie by a hard shake of his shoulders. He turned around and met the worried blue eyes of Lou Teasdale, his hairstylist. “Shit! Lou, sorry, I spaced out...”

 

Lou scrunched up her face in concern, “You've been doing that a lot. It's alright though, just letting you know we're done. What were you thinking of? You look deathly pale, are you alright?”

 

“Uh, yea – yes! Of course.” He gave her a shaky smile. The picture of Harry at Matthew's premiere, with their arms around each other were burned to the back of his eyelids. “Thanks for coming over and doing my hair.”

 

Lou still looked worried, her eyebrows furrowed in the middle, but she dropped the subject. “No problem. I was wondering when you were going to call.”

 

Louis pouted, about to run a hand through his hair but had it slapped away. “Hee-ey! My hair wasn't that bad!”

 

“Louis, it was bothering me so much,” She laughed, turning around so swiftly that her long blonde hair whipped his nose. “I was close to cutting it off while you slept.”

 

Louis made a noise of outrage but turned to his phone, noticing the missed text messages from Eleanor. She had finally completed her last job – going on a date with max and letting people overhear exactly what she was told to say. They had released an official statement that said they had broken up amicably weeks ago, and hopefully the fans will believe the subtle hints at a relationship between her and Max, her best friend. Louis doubts its for show – has thought for months they were a thing, but El always assured him that they were “just friends”.

 

“Well, sweetie, I have to get going. Still have to pick up Lux from my sisters and then I'm off to my parents.”

 

Louis made a sympathetic face, “Oh, long car ride?”

 

Lou finished zipping up the last of her equipment and snorted, “The longest!” She came up and hugged him tightly. “You take care of yourself and keep holding on, okay?” She whispered by his ear. All he could do is nod as she continued, “It'll all be right in the end, and we're all immensely proud of you. Love ya!”

 

He returned her kiss on the cheek and saw her start make her way towards the direction of the front door, her Louboutin stilettos clicking behind her.

 

He followed her out towards the hall and was prepared to wave for a final time when the door burst open in front of her, revealing a _livid_ Zayn Malik.

 

“We're fucked!” Zayn gasped out, running a hand through his hair and looking at him wildly.

 

Lou stared wide eyed between the two, as Zayn pushed past her with a mumbled, “Hey Lou,” and started for the living room.

 

“Zayn? What the hell? What do you mean, we're fucked?” He heard the sound of Lou's heels following them.

 

Zayn stayed quiet as he turned on the television and changed it to E!News.

 

Louis watched the show for a couple minutes but was getting more confused as time wore on. “Okay, I don’t get it. Am I supposed to be shocked that Ariana and Justin Bieber might be dating? Or that North West is a fashion icon?”

 

“Shes a baby!” Lou waved her hand at the TV, the look of judgment on her face as the reported on the news kept talking about the baby's clothes. Louis turned to her and nodded, completely agreeing. The baby had no idea what she was wearing, and if given the choice will probably only wear her nappy.

 

“Hold on.” Zayn muttered, staring intently at the screen.

 

Louis sat down on the sofa, watching the news. Finally, he realized what Zayn was talking about as a picture of Matthew James appeared on the screen. Lou gasped at the headline, as Louis – well Louis only stared in shock as the news anchor spoke.

 

 

“And looks like the end of Matthew James press tour for his new movie just took a massive turn. After a romantic week in the city with boyfriend Harry Styles, and successful New York premiere, Matthew James landed earlier this morning in London – only to get arrested on accounts of drug possession.”

 

The male reporter beside her continued, “That's right! And in no small amount! They might even charge him for intention of selling. Take a look at the video that a fan was able to capture outside James hotel as the arrest is happening.”

 

“Oh fucking hell...” Louis says faintly, sagging fully onto the couch watching as the screen changed to show a grainy photo of Matthew being escorted out in handcuffs by two policemen outside of The Ritz, flashes going off at his face.

 

“Do you... oh my god.” Lou raised a hand to her mouth and then pointed at the television, hissing furiously, “Do you two have something to do with that?”

 

“What the fuck? What the fuck happened? Zayn?!”

 

Zayn turned to him and raised both palms up, “I have no idea! Mate, I’ve been trying to get a hold of PJ for like the past hour but he won't fucking answer!”

 

Louis starts pacing in front of the couch, hand running through his hair in horror. Lou didn’t say anything, only staring at the two deep in thought.

 

“Zayn I cant believe you let this happen!”

 

“It's not my fault Louis! The plan was simple! Harry was the only one supposed to find the drugs! Blow up, give a simple lecture, shake his head and walk away from him. Harry _hates_ drugs, it should've been simple. In no way were police to be involved. Harry was supposed to walk away, so police, and a scandal like this could be _avoided_!”

 

Louis glared at him, pointed at the television. “It doesn’t look _avoided_!”

 

“You two are _idiots_!!”

 

Both males turned to look at the furious blonde, almost having forgotten she was there. Before Lou could explode on them once again, a ringing interrupted them. Zayn quickly fumbled for his phone and swiped it.

 

“ _What the_ _fuck_!!” He hissed into the mouthpiece.

 

Loui scrambled to hear what was being said but could only hear deep grunts and yelling from the other side. Growing frustrated, he just waited patiently for Zayn to finish the conversation so he could explain.

 

“You fuckers!” Zayn grew red and yelled, “You should have done it yourself!” He paused, waiting for the person on the other end. “I don’t give a fuck what they offered him! Stop saying sorry, and we were paying you more than enough to cover the risks.... I don’t give a _fuck_ , PJ! The dudes in jail now! What do you mean this isn’t going to be pinned on you?! Where are you going?! PJ?! PJ... hello?!”

 

Louis shook his head at Zayn, watching him put down the phone once he realized PJ hung up on him.”He hung up?” He asked unnecessarily.

 

Zayn nodded, and looked at Louis dejectedly, “He said hes skipping town for a bit, laying low. Wouldn’t tell me where he was going. Probably got rid of his phone by now.”

 

Lou spoke up after witnessing the whole scene. “You two... are fucked. You two are both idiots.” She got up from her seat, swinging her bags back on her shoulders. “I am going to pretend I didn’t hear any of this – because frankly, I cant afford to get involved. Let me just say, that I have never been more disappointed in the both of you – especially you Louis. I know this was probably some ploy to drive Matthew away from Harry and it just blew up in your faces. You owe that man an apology – actually that wont even cut it at this point.”

 

“Lou...” Louis breathed out, watching her walk away.

 

She held up her hand, closing her eyes. “Don't. I'll see you two soon. And hopefully, it wont be with you two behind bars or something. I suggest you find some miraculous way to fix this. And fast.”

 

They both sat in silence, both feeling properly scolded and guilty. Louis cleared his throat before asking, “So.. what did he say over the phone?”

 

“Apparently, PJ had a friend who was going to go plant the drugs in Matthews hotel room, but after he did so, he tipped some detective for some quick cash. Sold the information to the police.”

 

Louis groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose tightly. “Fuckers – the both of them.”

 

Zayn shrugged, “I guess, he just trusted the wrong people.”

 

“ _We_ trusted the wrong people.”

 

Zayn just slumped onto the coach, eyes staring at the news once again covering the story. “ _Fuck_.”

 

*

 

“Flight 305 to Los Angeles will depart in 15 minutes...”

 

Harry groans and turns to look at Jack with a pout, “Is it too late to buy a ticket for that flight?”

 

Jack offers him an amused shake of his head and just leads Harry towards the exit. “No can do kid, Gotta get you safely in the motherland, where you have to go back to work. Besides, we just went through customs, not about to go through it again.”

 

They have just landed at Heathrow Airport and Harry feels exhausted, even though he took a nap on his flight, saw a couple of movies and did nothing but stare out the window. His butt feels numb for sitting for such a long period of time.

 

Sighing, Harry continues walking towards the exit of the airport, a Heathrow employee escorting him to the exact location Jane is waiting with his car. Jack is walking quickly alongside him, a bookbag with all his belongings over his shoulders. He'll be heading home for to the week – which he argues will consist of the telly and copious amounts of beer bottles, but Harry insists he take a break either way.

 

“I'm going to just take you to your car, just get you through the photographers outside, and then I'll head home from here.”

 

Harry looked over with a frown, “I can just take you its no problem really.”A flash distracts the two from the corner of their eye and both of them move faster, Jack making sure to stay close. According to the familiar pattern they've learned over the years, seeing photographers inside the airport (a clear violation of a couple airport policies) is a clear indication that there is a lot more waiting outside. Stiff and anxious to get in his car already, Harry walked faster, hating what he was about to endure.

 

To their surprise, more photographers made their way inside the building. They were still a floor away from their exit but about five cameras where nearing closer, flashes going off. Most of them recording him.

 

“Mr. Styles! Mr. Styles!”

 

“How was New York? Come to bail your boyfriend?” Harry's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

 

“Were you really sick?”

 

The employee beside them turned to them apologetically, “I'm so sorry about this Mr. Styles. Security has been called but they keep coming back in. The police have been notified.”

 

Harry gave a small curt nod. “How many people are outside?”

 

She hesitated. “A lot.”

 

“Harry, do you want to take the back exit?”

 

“There’s some there as well.” The employee piped up in front of them.

 

“No, let's just go. Jane already has the car in the front so let's just go.”

 

“I can easily call her, H.” Jack rolled his eyes and took out his phone. He frowned though when he kept pressing the home button and the screen stayed black. “Fuck, nevermind. My phone died on the flight. We're just going to have to plough through. It's fine, it'll be like LA.”

 

As soon as they walk into lobby entrance, they see flashes of the paps go off, blinding the view to the outside. Girls that were inside were crowding against Harry now, asking for pictures and taking many without his consent. He stopped a couple times to indulge them but Jack kept a firm grip on his elbow, growing nervous by the growing crowd. Bystanders who are in line waiting to check in their bags and get their tickets were all standing around looking at the scene he was causing, some not having a clue as to who Harry even was. The employee in front of them was joined by another couple of male escorts, one of them whispering to her worriedly.

 

“Harry! Can I have a picture?”

 

“Do you do drugs as well?”

 

“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” One of his fans screamed at the pap, growing angry at the questions thrown at him.

 

That started the pushing of the crowd, some fans trying to get him through while others were trying to take pictures, touch him, and say something to him. He had about eight different girls yelling at him and photographers asking ridiculous questions.

 

At one point he had to stop, unable to move now because of the amount of people, until Jack came in and pushed the girls directly in front of him away. He kept his head down, face blank and sunglasses in place. A camera was shoved under his face, trying to get a better view.

 

“Come to bail your boyfriend Harry!?”

 

“Heading towards the prison?”

 

 

They made it outside and it became even more impossible to keep walking. Flashes kept going off and even with the sunglasses Harry couldn’t see anything. His heart rate increased and he started panicking. He couldn’t see anything, just hear a thousand voices shouting at him at the top of their lungs.

 

He felt Jacks grip tighten and pull him to the right.

 

“Move! Keep it moving!” Jack yelled, trying his best to push people out of the way.

 

“Harry, heading towards the prison?”

 

“Harry, Harry over here!”

 

“Harry, is Larry real?”

 

“Is it true you do drugs as well?!”

 

As soon as Harry is in the car, Jane put the car in in drive and starts honking the horn. Only some of the people in front of the car moved. Jane kept inching the car forward until she got a clear path and raced away. Harry tried to get his breathing under control and laid down across the leather interior of the car seats.

 

“Harry? Are you okay?”

 

Harry took of his sunglasses and focused his vision on the ceiling of the car. He feels like throwing up. “Matthew's arrested? What is going on Jane?”

 

“I tried calling you but neither you nor Jack were picking up. I assume you turned off your phone? Ricky kept calling me wanting me to ask you not to speak to anyone. Matthew was bailed off only an hour after he was arrested. He's fine now, at a different hotel now that his previous one is closed off due to investigations. I know where he is – if you want to see him later.”

 

Harry sighed, running a hand through his face. Ricky was Matthews PA, just as Jane is his. He wonders if Matthew tried contacting Harry himself. Probably – he should really turn on his phone but Harry enjoyed the calm when it's turned off a bit too much. “Was it because of drugs?” He croaked out.

 

Jane looked at him over the rear view mirror. “Yes, that’s why he was arrested. But Ricky assured me they weren’t Matthews.”

 

“So they did find drugs?”

 

“Well I'm sure they didn’t arrest him if they didn’t find any. They weren’t his though, his team is insisted it wasn’t. They going to fight this in court. Sue the hotel or something. I don’t know what they’re doing though, to be honest.”

 

They kept driving, Harry still spread across the back seat deep in thought.

 

“Harry?”

 

Harry hummed in acknowledgment.

 

“Management keeps calling. It's a nightmare over there. They need you to go in now.”

 

Harry stared blankly at the ceiling.

 

“Love?”

 

“Let's just go, Jane.” Harry sighed.

 

*  
  


“Matthew James hotel room was raided this morning on a anonymous tip. They found cocaine and was promptly arrested. Now people are looking at you Harry. Parents do not want their kids following these bad examples – even though you weren’t the one found with the drugs, you're guilty by association.”

 

Harry said nothing, keeping his eyes locked on the set of Newton balls on the glass table, his eyes following the movement. He was tarting to get a headache.

 

A large stack of papers were slammed in front of him making Harry jump.

 

“Complaints from parents and inquiries from the press.” Will said pointing at the stack. “Phones have been ringing all day, reporters wanting a statement. Yet, we couldn’t give anything because someone decided to shut off his phone.”

 

Harry stayed silent. His hands have been trembling without pause since the airport, so hes had them tightened into white fists on his lap.

 

“Harry are you listening? Do you not know how bad this looks for you? This aside, you were out for a month due to _health_ issues! How many people are going to believe that bull now? I'll tell you there aren’t many. Remember the video of Louis and Zayn smoking weed? That was childish compared to a cocaine scandal! Do you know how many times your name is mentioned in news articles? Do you know how many people see you as the face of One Direction? Do you know what it means having you possibly connected to this now?”

 

Will continued staring at Harry, willing for him to talk or say anything.

 

The manager snorted and massaged his temples. “And now I hear that you really are sick! Had some sort of breakdown at the premiere?” He gave Harry a stern finger. “I gave Jane the prescription given to you by your doctor for your medicine, but do not let this get out. If people know your taking pills now too, we might as well have to put you in rehab just for the public to see some sort of action being taken.”

 

Harry finally spoke, hissing out angrily, “I'm not an addict. I don't do drugs! I can't even stand the smell of weed!”

 

Will just shook his head, “Just lay low for now and for god's sake, stay home. A car will be picking you up from your house to go to rehearsals everyday. Be there and arrive on time. Security has been tightened and Jack will have to come back. Give him a break before tour starts, but you need him right now. We will be publicizing the fact that you just arrived into the country and was unaware of it all. Do not talk to anyone besides close friends and family, especially about the lawsuit. Most importantly, stay away from Matthews hotel. There are photographers camped outside and they'll have a field day if they catch even a whiff of you.”

 

Harry nodded, agreeing with him. He doesn’t like to be sitting here getting lectured, and wanted to get out as fast as possible.

 

“One more thing.” Will snapped his fingers and a blonde secretary stepped forward handing him a packet. “Due to your disappearing act, a clear violation of your contract as highlighted there, you will have to pay a fine.”

 

“A fine?”

 

“Yes Harry. You'll find everything is explained in the packet. Your absence had a calculated loss of at least 700,000 in revenue.” Harry's eyes widened. “People wanted five-member group, many wanted Harry Styles. We had to change up the solos and apologize to every interviewer the boys had because you decided to take an early holiday.”

 

“I'll uh -I'll have to speak to-”

 

“Your lawyer? If by lawyer you mean Irving Azoff, there was a copy sent to him already. Be grateful, it was initially 1.2 million. Although I don’t see how that would have been a problem seeing as how its about as much as you spent on your house in L.A. He argued the leave was due to a health issue but seeing you sitting in front me, you look fine. Azoff wouldn’t tell me what it was, said it wasn’t his place, and therefore could not get you fully out of paying the fine. So would you like to explain then?”

 

Harry gritted his teeth, glaring up at him.

 

“Then that will be 700,000.”

 

Harry closed his eyes and spit out, “Fine. I'll have Jane send you a check.” He got up from the seat and walked straight out the glass doors. He was tired of this, tired of the drama. He could feel his patience running thin on everything and just wanted to go home.

 

Home. He couldn’t even go home. Louis will be there. Harry felt the familiar stinging behind his eyes and before anyone could spot the tears, he ducked into the closet next to him. As soon as he was in the dark, secluded space, he burst into tears, burrowing his face in his hands.

 

Matthew was supposed to be easy. He was supposed to be effortless.

 

*

 

“Hey Jane. Thanks for picking this up for me.” Harry said meekly, holding up his bag from the pharmacy.

 

“No problem, sweetie.” She cleared her throat and stepped outside her house, closing the door behind her. “And um... the medicine is in my name, okay? Just extra precaution in case people go digging.”

 

Harry nodded, opening the white pharmacy bag to see the amber vial within.

 

“Just take it once a day, it'll help with the anxiety and the trembling of your hands. If you miss a day, do not double dose, but it is important Harry that you try not to miss a dose okay.”

 

Harry nodded, looking up from the bag.

 

“I'm serious.” Jane crossed her arms in front of her. “This medicine is no joke. Follow the directions exactly. If it wasn’t for all that you're going through, we wouldn’t have given it to you. But it seemed to have worked at the premiere... and with everything going on. It's just seems like you need it... I'm worried about Harry. We all are.” She finished off sadly, remembering the amount of phone calls she had to juggle between his parents and friends.

 

“I'll be fine Jane.” Harry smiled, grateful for her concern. “Really, I am fine. Now go inside. Say hi to Jazmin for me and go to bed.”

 

Jane looked at him in worry once more before nodding her head, needing to go inside to take care of her daughter. “Okay... tomorrow you fill me in on the meeting with management over breakfast?”

 

“Oh yea.” Harry rolled his eyes. “And call Aaron while you're at it?”

 

“Why do you need your accountant?”

 

“Let's just say it's a big transaction. I'll explain tomorrow. Goodnight Jane.” Harry waved once more, before turning around and heading towards his car. Jack had left for the day, reluctantly leaving him alone. He only left harry after promising he was heading straight to a hotel to sleep and will be seeing him tomorrow morning at 8 am sharp.

 

As soon as he's in his car, though, he realizes he doesn’t know where to go. Harry is confused and angry and cant handle seeing Louis now. He just doesn’t have the energy or is fully convinced he wont fall into his arms as soon as he sees him. There’s frankly nothing more Harry wants to just sleep in his bed with Louis around him. Harry knows Louis is his home, will feel safest and most comforted there, but he also knows he is no longer welcomed.

 

Flashes of his fight with Louis flash in his head, and Harry has to close his eyes and calm himself forcefully. Shakily, he rips open the white paper bag on his lap and pulls out the amber vial. Uncapping it, he quickly shakes out a single capsule, popping it into his mouth without hesitation.

 

Hes pretty sure Alexa is in LA, preparing to launch some clothing campaign or something. He remembers receiving a box of some of her clothes in her get better care package. There are another number of friends he can text and ask to sleep on their couches and a number of hotels that will happily clear a whole floor for him, but … he wants Louis.

 

Pulling out his phone, he opens up his messaging app to see his recent texts. A lot of them are unread. Bypassing the one that says Boo <3, he scrolls to the conversations with Nick.

 

'Where are you?'

 

Nick responds almost immediately: 'Home, wanna come over? I heard your back in town just in time for the circus apparently'

 

Harry breathes a sigh of relief and presses a few more buttons. Putting the phone by his ear he waits for Nick to pick up.

 

“Harry?”

 

“Nick.” Harry cries, shaking his head and biting his lip to keep it from shaking. “Nick, fuck...”

 

“Hey, hey, I know. I heard. Calm down and get your arse to my house now.”

 

*

 

“Sooo.. yeah. Now I'm here.”

 

Nick shook his head and stuffed a piece of Sesame chicken inside his mouth.

 

Harry is hesitant and suspicious of believing Matthew is innocent, not knowing what true or not. He wants to believe Matt isn’t like that but can't deny that he barely knows him. Harry really doesn’t want to have drugs associated with his name more than it already is but doesn’t want to dump Matt. Matt's press tour is over so at least his obligations for the last movie is done, but Harrys tour is just about to start.

 

Nick made a noise of frustration. “Why not? It's not possible to be attached to him so quickly.”

 

Harry stays silent, digging his chopsticks into his Lo Mein.

 

Nick groans, “See I knew you were going to. I swear Harry you have some severe separation anxiety – with people in general. When you left home to be on the X-Factor you clung on to Louis like your life depended on it. And stuck to him like glue for four years. Whenever you two weren’t together, which happened a lot once Eleanor came into the picture you started hanging out with me and going out with us. Don’t know if it was just to make him jealous - And don’t give me that look, I know its true but it's alright. Only then after me, came Jeff. And now that you don’t have Louis indefinitely, you are clinging to Matt. Let's not forget the fact that you hate sleeping alone for some reason! If Louis wasn’t home, you would sleep over here or at Alexa's. Or Ed's, or the Azoffs, or-”

 

“Okay, I get it!” Harry glared at the floor.

 

“Mate when I told you to go after Matt, I said hook up with him not bloody date him! Harry don’t you think this time apart from Louis is better spent alone? A time for reflection maybe? You haven’t been single in almost five bloody years, maybe it will do you some good to just be you for a while?”

 

Harry shook his head, “You know what Nick, I really don’t feel like being psychoanalyzed or judged. I came here to talk and mope over Chinese food. Yea, maybe some of what you’re saying is true-”

 

“Some Harry?”

 

Harry ignored him and continued, “But I cant do anything about it. I cant.” Harry blinked back tears.

 

Nick sighed and went back to his food, letting it go – for now.

 

As soon as the credits to Love, Actually start rolling Nick gets up from his seat, putting the trash in a plastic bag. “Want me to prepare the guest room for you or sleeping with me tonight?”

 

Harry was about to respond with the usual 'with you', but stopped himself from answering. After a moment of contemplation, he sighed and started sitting up. “It's fine Nick, thank you for letting me stay and watching the movie with me. I feel a lot better, actually, but I should really go home.”

 

Nick furrowed his eyebrows, turning to the side to look at him, “Home? What?”

 

“Yea... home.”

 

“As in your house?”

 

Harry rolled his eyes, the corners of his lips lifting up a smidge. “Yes, Nick. My house. The home I live in – the one I am paying every month to live in but never haven’t even stepped a foot inside it in months.”

 

“And where will you sleep at said home? Wont it be awkward with you-know-who there.”

 

Harry shrugged, “Maybe, yes but it's time I go home. And you don’t have to say you-know-who, he's not Voldemort. You can say his name.”

 

“When are you going to move out, Harry?” Nick demanded.

 

Harry really hasn’t thought about it and is probably no ever planning to, but he didn’t tell Nick that. He just shrugged his shoulders. Too many memories of Louis and Harry were there, too many hopes and dreams of small little babies trying to walk across the backyard and family dinners in their tables. Although, the countless sex the two had when they first bought the house is still too fresh in his memory to look at the kitchen, or the living room, the same way again.

 

He ignores Nicks worried gaze, hugs him tightly while muttering his goodbyes. He slowly walks out of the door and to his car, driving to the direction where Louis probably was at this very moment. He doesn’t know if he's ready to see him for the first time since Orlando, but nonetheless Harry was going home.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Legit promise, that was the only bag thing Louis will do for the whole story. From now on, it's time to really redeem him and to fix it I suppose. It'll all take time - nothing will be rushed. We are actually about halfway done now - unless certain situations force me to add chapters. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed!!! I apologize for the late, late update but I got caught up in shcool, life, and my other fic 'Green Eyes'. 
> 
> Comments? Review?


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